Masculine/feminine vrs gay/straight

[B_henry miller]

I think a lot of these discussions about whether a guy is really straight or bisexual are actually discussions about masculinity vrs femininity. (Now, before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I think it is okay and fine if you are a feminine gay or bisexual guy. Okay?)

I think there is a stereotype that if a guy is gay or bisexual then that means he is feminine, more female than male, probably wants to be a drag queen, dress as a woman, and may even want to BE a woman. I think this is why some bisexual guys prefer to call themselves "straight" -- because there is a societal perception that gay guys and bisexual guys are feminine and want to be women. (I'm bisexual but often mistaken for being straight, because I am masculine and, though I love women, I do not want to be one -- and I love being masculine!)

 

[travis1985]

I think you're very right.

 

[jjsjr]

That's what makes coming out such a challenge.

Not to stir up any drama, but I'd guarantee there are far more bisexual people in the world than those courageous enough to admit to it.

 

[B_henry miller]

That's what makes coming out such a challenge.

Not to stir up any drama, but I'd guarantee there are far more bisexual people in the world than those courageous enough to admit to it.

I completely agree (that there are far more bisexual people than will admit).

When I was just starting to figure out that I was bisexual, I literally said to a friend, "You mean I don't have to dress up as a woman?" She laughed and said, "No!" At that point, I seriously thought that being gay or bisexual meant you wanted to be a woman, and it was more or less obligatory that at some point you had to perform in a drag show. lol :biggrin1:

 

[Remington]

Agreed.

One odd thing that I keep hearing, is if a gay or bisexual male is masculine, people tend refer to him as "straight acting".

To me, that makes very little sense. It's as if gay men cannot be masculine, or something.

 

[B_henry miller]

Sadly, I think that's the common perception: if a guy is gay or bisexual he cannot be masculine. I actually run into discrimination based on this sometimes. I've been hassled outside gay bars to the point where I actually have literally say "I'm gay!" (Technically, I'm bisexual, but I know that bisexuals are often more discriminated against.....)

About the "straight acting" business, I remember someone saying, "I don't care how straight acting a guy is. No guy looks that straight with a dick in his mouth!"

 

[MarkLondon]

Oh, that's such a 70s "exploring your feminine side" idea. In my opinion there's nothing more masculine than two guys getting it together. Whether it's for a blokey wank (maybe with straight porn in the background as an excuse) or something more directly mutually satisfying.

The men I fuck, even the married ones, are not pretending to be women. That would turn me right off. They may be bringing some of their experience with women to the table (or bed) and I'm glad of it. But it's what they've learned as men in that position that counts.

 

[D_Jess_Kilme]

I think a lot of these discussions about whether a guy is really straight or bisexual are actually discussions about masculinity vrs femininity. (Now, before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I think it is okay and fine if you are a feminine gay or bisexual guy. Okay?)

I think there is a stereotype that if a guy is gay or bisexual then that means he is feminine, more female than male, probably wants to be a drag queen, dress as a woman, and may even want to BE a woman. I think this is why some bisexual guys prefer to call themselves "straight" -- because there is a societal perception that gay guys and bisexual guys are feminine and want to be women. (I'm bisexual but often mistaken for being straight, because I am masculine and, though I love women, I do not want to be one -- and I love being masculine!)

I think you are onto something here.

You will find confirmation of this idea at g0y.org (spelled with a zero not an O)

It is not a fear only of the feminine, but also of the many unfortunate stereotypes associated with the label "gay" which, in their belief, compromises their masculinity. The g0y community embraces male sexual play and intimacy but rejects gay culture (and anal sex).

The g0y movement is growing rapidly as an alternative to straight, bi and gay.