massage tables goofs

[catman]

(not sure where to put this one so...)

With all the cold decided to treat myself to a massage- there is a school of massage here that has great prices on a variety of massage levels (from students, to intermediate to teachers).

So I went in, stripped to my boxers (no this isn't the never dying 'do you get a boner' thread).

Instead all the work he did on my belly and sides caused my stomach to work.As I lie on my belly (yes, hard) I thought 'oh, I need to pass a bit of gas)... boy did I read that one wrong..

what I thought was going to be a quiet 'poot' (as he was working on my feet, out of safe distance) turned into this loud fog horn of a ripper that I swear love lorn moose 3 states away might have heard...and replied to.

There was honestly NOTHING to be said. It became that literal elephant in the room (I think my boxers must have blown up like a space walk trampoline)....

I finished the massage and made sure to tip him, I did not make eye contact....


So, anyone else have an...ackward...massage stories?

a friend once told me he got the hiccups and could not stop...

 

[goodwood]

oh NO! lol. i am told this happens and is natural and nothing to be ashamed of.
as far as awkward - is falling asleep and snoring loudly considered awkward?

 

[tat2dqt78]

A few years ago I was face down, and starting to doze. We happen to be friends, so she can tell me anything. She gently shakes my shoulder and ask if I am ok. I tell her I am fine, Why? She says to me, well you were drooling on my feet. LOL I guess I was asleep and she was standing over my head working my shoulders. She was cool with it, and actually said it was a compliment that I was able to relax enough to nod off.

 

[LuvMensCocks]

"what I thought was going to be a quiet 'poot' (as he was working on my feet, out of safe distance) turned into this loud fog horn of a ripper that I swear love lorn moose 3 states away might have heard...and replied to.

There was honestly NOTHING to be said. It became that literal elephant in the room (I think my boxers must have blown up like a space walk trampoline)...."

I almost shit myself laughing so hard at this. I was trying to read this to my husband, It took me 5 minutes to clear the tears out of my eyes I was laughing so hard.

All I can say is been there done that, Although It was a surprise release with no warning. Except my guy just said "Damn" in a low voice and said that should do it and left.

 

[TaigaStar]

In all actuality, these people are trained professionals, so they probably understand it happens. Maybe a polite "excuse me" or "sorry," but I'm sure they've had it happen before. If you were his first loud fart, think of it this way--he'll never forget you or your tip, and he'll be prepared for any other surprises in the future.

 

[easytoremember55]

if i did that i have to say i would have been giggling so much i probably would have dropped my guts again.

 

[indianajones7895]

(not sure where to put this one so...)

With all the cold decided to treat myself to a massage- there is a school of massage here that has great prices on a variety of massage levels (from students, to intermediate to teachers).

So I went in, stripped to my boxers (no this isn't the never dying 'do you get a boner' thread).

Instead all the work he did on my belly and sides caused my stomach to work.As I lie on my belly (yes, hard) I thought 'oh, I need to pass a bit of gas)... boy did I read that one wrong..

what I thought was going to be a quiet 'poot' (as he was working on my feet, out of safe distance) turned into this loud fog horn of a ripper that I swear love lorn moose 3 states away might have heard...and replied to.

There was honestly NOTHING to be said. It became that literal elephant in the room (I think my boxers must have blown up like a space walk trampoline)....

I finished the massage and made sure to tip him, I did not make eye contact....


So, anyone else have an...ackward...massage stories?

a friend once told me he got the hiccups and could not stop...

I just laughed so hard after reading this that I ended up crying and getting the hiccups :biggrin1:

 

[D_Darneston Kneelength]

sigh

Masseuses. People trying to make an honest living helping people. I see nothing funny here. Nor are the posts about boners and hand jobs during massages. I'm sorry, but I just can't understand this kind of shit. These are not consensual interactions. These are people trying to get through their days. If instead of a masseuse, would it be funny if it was your doctor who was examining a growth on your scrotum and you did that? How about if the masseuse was someone that you cared about? And what the fuck kind of life are you living that that is something worth writing about? Jeez why am I even...

 

[jdoe86]

Nothing too awkward. I had a girl who was massaging my feet (a little reflexology) and she must have hit just the right spot because my penis jumped to attention. I was semi-nude (just a towel over my groin) and I was face up. Kind of funny to have the towel fly out of the way when your penis goes from between your legs to hitting your stomach. She kept right on working my feet and every time she hit that spot, my penis throbbed for her. You know she was looking for a rise out of me and she sure got one.

I did have to finish myself, but while I did, she let me play with her pussy and I gave her a nice tip.

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

Nothing too awkward. I had a girl who was massaging my feet (a little reflexology) and she must have hit just the right spot because my penis jumped to attention. I was semi-nude (just a towel over my groin) and I was face up. Kind of funny to have the towel fly out of the way when your penis goes from between your legs to hitting your stomach. She kept right on working my feet and every time she hit that spot, my penis throbbed for her. You know she was looking for a rise out of me and she sure got one.

I did have to finish myself, but while I did, she let me play with her pussy and I gave her a nice tip.

So where is that spot on the bottom of the foot?? Enquiring minds want to know.

 

[catman]

oh I have had a few offer to put a towel down, as my cock was happily drooling up a puddle....

 

[Svidrigailov]

sigh

Masseuses. People trying to make an honest living helping people. I see nothing funny here. Nor are the posts about boners and hand jobs during massages. I'm sorry, but I just can't understand this kind of shit. These are not consensual interactions. These are people trying to get through their days. If instead of a masseuse, would it be funny if it was your doctor who was examining a growth on your scrotum and you did that? How about if the masseuse was someone that you cared about? And what the fuck kind of life are you living that that is something worth writing about? Jeez why am I even...

Wow, what crawled up your ass and died? It's not like he had a plan to make the masseuse's life miserable by farting in front of him, if anything it just sounds like an embarrassing accident. Why are you getting so worked up over someone posting a harmless story