Mastectomy and reconstruction

[LaFemme]

I just watched an HBO special starring Tig Notaro. It has hilarious. In it she talks about her battle with breast cancer and her bilateral mastectomy. She chose not to have any reconstruction. She then takes off her shirt and performs the rest of her show topless.

As a woman at high risk for breast cancer, I get a yearly mammogram. Two women in my office had breast cancer this year alone (both treated successfully). But if I had to lose one or have both breasts removed, I don't know what I'd do. Reconstruction? Tattoos? Leave it?

What would you do? How much are your breasts tied to your identity?

Men? What do you think? What about your loved one? Could you date a woman with one or no breasts?

 

[AlteredEgo]

I would hardly recognize myself without them. Reconstruction.

 

[huguest]

Wow, tough subject.

I been confronted on this subject in the pass, and I did talk about it on LPSG and it was a very emotional task for me, it deeply torn me.

I would say today that it definitely a heart breaker. Not because I only love her for her breast, but because a missing breast is the result of a fight, a fight with a cancer, a fight that she won with a price, the couple have suffer during so many months, emotionally and physically and nothing will be the same.

After such torment, the women, is not the same person that you fell in love, with or without a breast.

In my case, she didn't loss her breasts, but she changed so much that I'm not sure she the same one that I ounce love. When she mention that she wanted to have a breast reduction, after one cancer, 2 kiss,
development of an ankylosing arthritis, many depression, and a menopause at 34, I just couldn't take it anymore I draw the line.

She didn't do it in the end, (mostly because of money), she's a strong women, and I admire her a lot, we're trying hard to patch our couple but I'm not sure if there's love anymore.


So if you ask me if I'm willing to date a women that had a mastectomy (cancer), I know now what that represent.


Sorry Lafemme if I put a shadow on your threat, it just get me emotionally.

 

[fluffychocolate]

I love my girls! Men scratch their butts in the morning and I grab my girls and give them a few good squeezes. I am hoping to carry them with me my whole life. Definitely reconstruction.

 

[Brisler]

Dating a girl with one of no breasts wouldn't be a problem. If it happened to my partner, God forbid, I would completely support whatever decision she went with. Anything else would be a mockery of what she would be going through, something I couldn't possibly comprehend. Her having to give up a breast would effect my love for her as much as I suspect me having to give up testicle would effect her love for me. Which, I hope, is not at all.

 

[Scarletbegonia]

They'd be gone in a second.
I'd like to keep/reconstruct nipples, and I'd consider a tattoo.
If reconstruction was covered, I'd convince then a B is more than sufficient.
A bra-less life would be nice. Without gravitational pull.

 

[AlteredEgo]

I'd want to keep my size the same. Tats for any scars. They could position them a little bit higher for me while they're at it though, and point my nipples upward some more. But even if they just put me back together how I was before, gravity and all, that would be fine.

 

[Ed69]

After 25 years together I'd be concerned with is my wife gonna live!What she may want or not for reconstruction I would support.She never blinked an eye when my right testicle had to be removed and I chose not to get an implant.

 

[ronin001]

My Mother is a Breast Cancer survivor. She underwent mastectomy surgery a few years ago, and thank God all has been well since then. Her capacity to love, nurture and care for others never diminished.

So, I guess My answer would be Yes, I would definitely date someone who had overcome Breast Cancer.

 

[EllieP]

It is one of those things always in the back of my mind. Of course, if they turned on me I would get rid of them quickly, without hesitation. But I'd want them back as soon as possible, too. Yes, I would have reconstruction. It's definitely an identity thing with me.

 

[lapdog2001]

As a guy, and a boob man (is it that obvious?) I would be sad if my wife had to loose one or both breasts to cancer, but I would be much more concerned with her survival. If reconstruction was an option, I think we'd both like that, but like AE noted above, she would want the reconstruction to counteract what gravity has done!

The women I know who have survived breast cancer, either had reconstruction, or wear the specialized bras to make them look even.

 

[Mercurygirl]

She's on Ellen today.

Reconstruction for me.

 

[693987]

I would like to still have nipples, but I would be fine with not having breasts anymore. I like tattoos, but I also think scars are interesting. Then again, I'm one of the various genderqueer/gender fluid people on LPSG, so I'll freely admit I'm not that attached to my breasts. I already bind them on rare occasions. Since I DO have breasts, I don't bind often, because I don't want to break down tissue and have them lose perkiness beyond what their natural size/as years pass/etc causes.

 

[LaFemme]

Wow, tough subject.

I been confronted on this subject in the pass, and I did talk about it on LPSG and it was a very emotional task for me, it deeply torn me.

I would say today that it definitely a heart breaker. Not because I only love her for her breast, but because a missing breast is the result of a fight, a fight with a cancer, a fight that she won with a price, the couple have suffer during so many months, emotionally and physically and nothing will be the same.

After such torment, the women, is not the same person that you fell in love, with or without a breast.

In my case, she didn't loss her breasts, but she changed so much that I'm not sure she the same one that I ounce love. When she mention that she wanted to have a breast reduction, after one cancer, 2 kiss,
development of an ankylosing arthritis, many depression, and a menopause at 34, I just couldn't take it anymore I draw the line.

She didn't do it in the end, (mostly because of money), she's a strong women, and I admire her a lot, we're trying hard to patch our couple but I'm not sure if there's love anymore.


So if you ask me if I'm willing to date a women that had a mastectomy (cancer), I know now what that represent.


Sorry Lafemme if I put a shadow on your threat, it just get me emotionally.

Oh, that makes me sad, but I'm so glad she survived. I really hope that the more time that passes, the better things become. Perhaps she needs a support group or counselling. Surviving sometimes means more than just not dying - sometimes it means really making a choice to live. And some people get stuck. They need help moving past it, especially when there are illnesses and chronic pain. Personally, I know that I live with chronic pain and I had to go to a pain clinic to teach me how to live with it. It helped me learn not to take it out on others, how to enjoy life and how to be alive.

She's on Ellen today.

Reconstruction for me.

I saw that! What a coincidence! I don't know why she opted not to do reconstruction, but I know some women have a bad reaction to implants. Maybe that's why.

Personally, I think I'd do reconstruction. I think. My body has a hard time with scar tissue, though. My sister had a reduction and her body didn't handle it well. I know it's not the same thing, but her scars are pretty bad. I have seen some beautiful tattoos in lieu of breasts.

Also, I'm single. My breasts have been such a part of my identity. Who would I be if men didn't talk to my chest?

It is nice that men here are so supportive of their loved ones.

I do wonder about single men. It'd be pretty tough to get naked the first time.

 

[185248]

Saw your thread early this morn (Aus time La) and made a note on my desk to answer. The reason being is my love just had her best friend undergo surgery yesterday in cancer found in the vaginal area. Her friend had breast cancer surgery and reconstruction carried out just over 12 months ago.

Her friend has a wonderful sense of humour which has helped her through these times, she always jokes about having a 'designer vagina', but we know humour disguises her fear. She has been my loves best friend from her latter teenage years. So they know one another's deepest emotions.

After the operation it was found it was not as bad as first thought, she had been told earlier that it was more serious than first tests indicated. Although, it needs to be backed up by the biopsies and test results, which again can be scary.

There can be scarier things to losing a physical part of your being. To lose friends or family in support, or your own will, strength and mind to help see you through.

I could make a long answer to your question, but I try not to be long winded. To draw myself back to your question, there is much more to a person than the physical. I suppose that could be said about the Universe too.

 

[lapdog2001]

Personally, I think I'd do reconstruction. I think. My body has a hard time with scar tissue, though. My sister had a reduction and her body didn't handle it well. I know it's not the same thing, but her scars are pretty bad. I have seen some beautiful tattoos in lieu of breasts.

I was intimate with a woman who had a reduction from E/F to a C, but had grown back to a D when I had the pleasure of knowing her. While kissing and exploring her breasts for the first time I saw very faint scar lines, so I asked about them. That's when she told me that her breasts never really stopped growing. She was in fantastic shape, but 100% of any weight gain went to her boobs! (Don't hate her ladies! )

She was very happy with her reduction, and was still happy when they eventually grew back to a D (as was I!), but she was concerned that they would eventually return to a much larger size. It's unfortunate that some women don't heal as well as she did.

Also, I'm single. My breasts have been such a part of my identity. Who would I be if men didn't talk to my chest?

It is nice that men here are so supportive of their loved ones.

I do wonder about single men. It'd be pretty tough to get naked the first time.

1) You'd still be LaFemme of course!
2) It is only right to be supportive of someone you love.
3) I think as long as the woman mentions her breast situation before he see you for the first time, you should be OK. If a guy who has been interested in you runs away when you mention mastectomy, you're probably better off without him!

 

[EllieP]

That's my story, Lapdog. I went from a G cup to a D two and a half years ago. Now I'm about to buy my first DD bra in over 20 years. Surgeon says it's "settling" and I shouldn't be back in a G anytime soon. Still it's a little frustrating to go through all of that and know you're back on the road only to be making a U turn.

 

[185248]

Yet the question I thought was about the big C and how it can be life changing. One can choose to change ones physique, sometimes choices are very limited when life is the choice.

To dramatic, that's what happens when you have very little choice.

 

[SprinkleMe69]

I think I'd leave them alone for a while. I know someone that had a double mastectomy, reconstruction, went through all her chemo and radiation therapy just for the damn cancer to return. But she's fighting through it all and still doing everything she sets her mind to. She inspires me. Even she says, "I should have just had a beautiful rose garden tattoed over my scars."

 

[LaFemme]

I think I'd leave them alone for a while. I know someone that had a double mastectomy, reconstruction, went through all her chemo and radiation therapy just for the damn cancer to return. But she's fighting through it all and still doing everything she sets her mind to. She inspires me. Even she says, "I should have just had a beautiful rose garden tattoed over my scars."

That's kind of what I wonder. Perhaps tats are better. Sometimes remission isn't remission? And implants can have consequences as well.