Masturbation - cool, not cool?

[badgirl22]

Not sure where this one belongs but here's the question...

Men, do you mind if your women masturbate either in front of you or otherwise? Ladies, same question in reverse.

My boyfriend does not like it. He thinks its rude or is in someway insulted if I want to masturbate or use a vibe. I thought men were typically turned on by such things but not this one. Not my intent to make him feel badly but would love to figure out how to make this a part of our sex life. I'd love to watch him masturbate but he says he doesn't do it - does nothing for him. He'd rather just be fucking.

I'm curious as to what others have to say about this.

 

[unabear09]

I love watching women masturbate. Nothing gross, rude, or anything else negative. Your bf is a tool

 

[B_Hung Jon]

I think it is very erotic if my g/f wants to masturbate in front of me. In fact we sometimes do it together especially if we're both physically tired. I think some guys are fearful that a vibrator is competition for them, which I think is pretty dumb. After all a vibe is not a human being. I just think guys who think this way are a little insecure. I think it's totally cool for you to do what pleases you sexually. Cool thread BTW.

 

[badgirl22]

I love watching women masturbate. Nothing gross, rude, or anything else negative. Your bf is a tool

LMAO - yeah but he's cute - LOL!

 

[badgirl22]

I think it is very erotic if my g/f wants to masturbate in front of me. In fact we sometimes do it together especially if we're both physically tired. I think some guys are fearful that a vibrator is competition for them, which I think is pretty dumb. After all a vibe is not a human being. I just think guys who think this way are a little insecure. I think it's totally cool for you to do what pleases you sexually. Cool thread BTW.

Can't wait to read what others write - I thought this is the way most men think! Thank you for speaking up.

 

[heatseeking]

well, i think it's okay for women to do it, cuz they're better at it, they do it with more class.

men do it like gorillas, all hunched over and beating it till they're red in the face. (exageration but it's to emphasize the point i'm trying to make)

so men, unless you can do it with class and make it a great show, leave the master debating to the women, they do it better

 

[B_Hung Jon]

well, i think it's okay for women to do it, cuz they're better at it, they do it with more class.

men do it like gorillas, all hunched over and beating it till they're red in the face. (exageration but it's to emphasize the point i'm trying to make)

so men, unless you can do it with class and make it a great show, leave the master debating to the women, they do it better

BTW I ain't no gorilla. I can tell you haven't seen any porn with attractive big-dicked guys jerking off. :biggrin1:

 

[heatseeking]

BTW I ain't no gorilla. I can tell you haven't seen any porn with attractive big-dicked guys jerking off. :biggrin1:

they're paid to be sexy, most men don't come with smooth buff chests and a porn groove in the background

 

[badgirl22]

they're paid to be sexy, most men don't come with smooth buff chests and a porn groove in the background

Damn it all! They don't?!? I want my money back!

 

[D_Penny_Khandi]

I think watching a woman masturbate is sexy. I enjoy seeing how she touches herself, and what little things that she does sets her off. I guess I look at it like a learning experience

 

[hud01]

well, i think it's okay for women to do it, cuz they're better at it, they do it with more class.

men do it like gorillas, all hunched over and beating it till they're red in the face. (exageration but it's to emphasize the point i'm trying to make)

so men, unless you can do it with class and make it a great show, leave the master debating to the women, they do it better

Speak for yourself

 

[heatseeking]

okay people, let me rephrase that. MOST men do it like apes. i'm not calling anyone a monkey, i'm just saying that you're more likely to find a man with his pants off, wrecking shop than a woman.

just sayin' on average here, chilllll

 

[Mastur]

Me Tarzan, you lame...

 

[D_Fiona_Farvel]

I love to show off, even playing with toys together, and all of my partners have stroked off for me, I really enjoy it. Even directing the action, so I am the total opposite of your boyfriend, Badgirl, because my reaction is like "Yayyy!" ... then I clean him up. :wink:

Not sure how to introduce it into the bedroom, maybe make a video of you playing with yourself, describing how a particular touch feels and showing him your mastery over your own body?

 

[B_subgirrl]

I don't mind if he wanks in front of me. It doesn't turn me on or off it just sort of is. I'll masturbate in front of him if he wants me to, although in and of itself it doesn't turn me on. In my experience, most men have wanted me to and have specifically asked for it. Most have also enjoyed using vibes on me.

 

[treo1]

Masturbation is a beautiful act, especially when a women does it. My GF loved it when I J/O for her. Sometimes we would do it together. So you will know... your BF jacks off when your not around to porn or the thought of something you've done together. I know sometimes when we would have really hot sex. I would think about it days later and J/O thinking about what we had done. So he's just being silly. Dont worry about offending him. You just have to let him know that watching him J/O is a turn on for you. He will CUM around soon enough. I promise.

 

[helgaleena]

I know I think of masturbation as a private activity, almost like using the toilet. It takes a certain amount of self esteem to do it when someone is watching. I would have to trust my partner very much to feel comfortable having them 'there' for either activity.

But now and then I have been able to reach that level with a partner. And now and then they have been willing to be so open with me. It is a very great blessing when it happens. And it cannot be forced. A person's body is their own to bestow, including access to such private activities.

"Does nothing for him' means that he finds masturbation inferior to the intimacy of sex with a partner. So do most, of either sex. Some poor persons are even unable to climax from masturbating. I hope your boyfriend is not in that camp! But satisfying yourself is a skill too, and very instructive.

 

[HiddenLacey]

Personally I think it's hot. It ramps up my desire to watch! Does he dislike it when/ if you touch yourself/ rub your clit/ nipples etc. during sex or is it just if you masturbate for him?

 

[John.Heath]

I masturbate and I encourage my wife to... she does not, but that's a whole other story. I would love it if she wanted to masturbate in front of me, that would be awesome, very erotic.

 

[RawDog]

I'll echo all the positives the previous replies had. Having said that, there are several things that do piss me off when she masturbates.

- If she tells me she's too sore to go on with sex and I extract myself. She then turns over and grabs her vibe and proceeds to finish herself off.

- If we're messing around and going at it and I ask to see her masturbate. She agrees and masturbates to our delight, then upon completion say she's too sore to get back into having sex.

But, as I typed that I realized there is one valuable thing about watching your partner masturbate that is most valuable to me. That is in how she touches herself. How she cups her breasts, how she fondles herself, where her other hand glides (the one not touching her clit), if she likes penetrating herself.

It always surprises me how many women *don't* penetrate themselves when they masturbate. Why is that? I mean sex, straight hetero sex, is all about the penetration. but obviously moreso in a guy's mind I take it.

As far as me though, I love to edge for my wife. I guess the difference between "edging" and masturbating would be the completion part. I find it a waste of semen if I can't do it during sex. That, and the fact that my refractory period sucks and getting back hard again takes me an hour or so. So if she ends up getting turned on and wants to fuck right after I cum, I'm SOL.