Masturbation No No's

[PinkSteel]

You know they say you learn by your mistakes, but when it comes to wackin the high hard one, i'm sure we could save time and maybe even damage by sharing things we've tried that were big mistakes.

I have a few, but will start with this one. Once before receiving a blow job I poured some Kahlua on my knob thinking of my girl friend at the time (well maybe not entirely, if she liked the tastle I would be the b[FONT=&quot]eneficiary[/FONT]).
Big Mistake, it burned like hell and I almost lost the moment. Keep liquours away from those delecate membranes.

 

[AlteredEgo]

Yes! Keep any type of alcohol away. Even isopropyl. I learned that masturbating with a perfume bottle once...

 

[jeff931]

Shampoo too in the shower just go with water for lubricant

 

[PinkSteel]

Ok this one's kinda embarassing, but when I was in my teens I was vacumming my parents car and I popped a bone for no apparent reason, but gave my cock a rub with the open end of the hose, through the material of my cut off jeans. It felt good, so I swung my cock out of my undershorts and down one leg. I cautiously placed the end of the hose on my knob, while having my other hand around my dick so it couldn't go in too far. After some tries I found it was great if i only partially placed it on the end of the hose allowing the skin where the knob meets the shaft on the underside to make a flapping sound. It felt so good I came.
The next time I tried this was in the house when I was alone and although I orgasmed, I found out afterwards a layer of skin had disapeared as well. Had to go a couple days without any fun while it healed. (although I remember a session with a scab once, might have been part of this story too)

 

[Lex]

WOW. I am fairly vanilla--soap, lotion, lube, and water for jacking as I learned to masturbate.

Also--best to not hump the pillow in the same undies. Dried in, worked-in cum stains rarely come out in the wash.

 

[ChuckRich]

31 Really Bad Masturbation Techniques

http://www.collegesexadvice.com/masturbation-mistakes.shtml

 

[AlteredEgo]

OH! Oh! OH! I can't even read most of those. Pain! Pain!

 

[deleted3782]

Beware of wigs.

 

[D_alex8]

Beware of wigs.

Death by merkin?

 

[AlteredEgo]

Beware of wigs.

I demand the story. Spill.

 

[deleted3782]

To learn more, you must meet my conditions. What I want is a view. I want a window where I can see a tree, or even water. I want to be in a federal institution, far away from Dr. Chilton.

 

[D_alex8]

To learn more, you must meet my conditions. What I want is a view. I want a window where I can see a tree, or even water. I want to be in a federal institution, far away from Dr. Chilton.

I can offer you a view from the tower of the jail building at the Santa Barbara courthouse, if that helps.

---> http://www.santabarbaracourthouse.org/sbch/jail/jail-02.jpg

 

[deleted3782]

or I will just take 20 minutes with Vinnie...

 

[jeff black]

or I will just take 20 minutes with Vinnie...

That can be arranged in ten seconds.. Spill it EX.. I am kinda curious about this wig thing:biggrin1:

 

[B_big dirigible]

31 Really Bad Masturbation Techniques

http://www.collegesexadvice.com/masturbation-mistakes.shtml

What college do these gems come from?

Things were comparatively dull at my alma mater ... and I suppose they still are.

 

[windtalkerways]

What college do these gems come from?

Things were comparatively dull at my alma mater ... and I suppose they still are.

Love the new avi, Big! :smile:

 

[PinkSteel]

I can't help you out with the wig thing, but I do know a friend of mine who got fired from a deli because he was caught with his cock in the pickle cutter.
What happened to the pickle cutter?
They fired her too.

 

[jeff black]

I can't help you out with the wig thing, but I do know a friend of mine who got fired from a deli because he was caught with his cock in the pickle cutter.
What happened to the pickle cutter?
They fired her too.

lol.. old joke but still just as bad:biggrin1: I laughed till I cried

 

[GoneA]

i for one do not advocate putting one's penis in a vacuum

 

[ThaitAss]

That list of masturbation no-no's - OMG! lol.

I only made myself sick from masturbating once. I was in my 20s and spent an entire weekend getting high and getting off, while listening to Rolling Stones "Tattoo You." It was 1982...

One can overdo orgasms induced with vibrators and pulsating shower heads. These days I find reading and occasionally writing erotic literature is much
more effective at stimulating sexual desire and producing decent masturbation orgasms.