I’ve noticed that when jerking off, I usually chicken out and stop before I reach an orgasm and cum due to fear. My horniness often carries over to the next day and I get the urge to masturbate. The last time I was able to push through and orgasm was around early January. The feelings of the orgasms that I’ve had have been pretty intense which may be contributing to my fear. My motivation for masturbating has been for the cumshot and not the orgasm because I feel like the built up cum and tension might be causing stress in other parts of my life (and I find cumshots super sexy). Have any of you guys experienced this? And does anyone have advice on how to push through?
Masturbation Orgasm Anxiety
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Yeah, the climax is the scary part for me with everything my body feels when it happens (and the fact that I can’t stop it)
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playklax01
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The climax isn't supposed to be scary, it's supposed to be one of the goals of jerking off. It feels good and the fact it can't be stopped is just it's nature. But I remember the first time I jerked off and came, I thought I did something that was so dangerous I swore I would never do that again...well, didn't take long to get over that.
But based on your first post, I don't think you're a young person just starting on their journey of jerking off.
Your issue may be of a stronger psychological issue (e.g. fear of pleasure, fear of losing control) that is beyond what we can provide help with here. The only advice I could give is to relax and enjoy the orgasm, there's nothing wrong with it. It may help your stress (does for me) and it's a healthy and natural reaction that should feel desirable.
Well guess playklax01 has nailed it already - you're a young guy first experiencing the pleasure of orgasm from masturbation.
Orgasms are meant to be intense - the French call it "la petite mort" for a reason. You're meant to be knocked out for those 10-15 seconds while it lasts!
But that's God's gift to all male for having a dick, and it's core to being a man!
For 99%+ of men, cumshot and orgasm simply cannot be separated - just how male anatomy and physiology works! And that's probably why you find cumshots super sexy as well, that the other guy is experiencing his "petite mort" moment.
BTW, nothing makes a man more edgy, aggressive and horny than having cum built up inside and not ejaculated. That explains both your urge to masturbate and causing stress in other parts of your life.
Yes, that's also part of how male physiology works...
Could a religious upbringing and the fear of sin, God or anything like that be part of the picture?
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Interesting stuff. I see how you make the correct distinction between cumshots and orgasm. They are seperate things that tend to overlap fully for most of us.
There's nothing wrong with having cumshots, so yeah you are right to want to cum, it's what our bodies need to do to stay healthy; flush out your tubes so your spunk doesn't exceed it's use by date!
I think there is nothing "Wrong" about being wary of your orgasms, although it's not a fear I've ever experienced I can- kind of- see how you could be a bit scared out if them. When I orgasm I lose control both of my body and what I'm saying, I feel like my body is in the grip of incredibly powerful forces which I don't know how to channel. It often leaves me exhausted. I can think of some orgasms I've had where I've been unable to stand afterwards.
Sometimes, especially when I was younger, I felt vulnerable and stupid after orgasming. I thought this was because I'd made a fool of myself, although typically I'd be alone so of course there would be no witnesses! Now I think it was evolutionary, a hangover from our caveman days when we had to share our territories with more predators. Behaviourists now reckon that girls go to the bathroom together on nights out as a caveman inheritance too; because ladies need to squat they would have been more vulnerable, so would have had a tribe member standing guard. I've got over my orgasm aftermath vulnerability now, maybe my exhibitionist nature has overwhelmed this or maybe sabre toothed tigers only ever wanted to maul teenagers!
You say your orgasms are intense. I think this is significant too. A lot of guys I've been with really don't orgasm as hard as I do. So maybe some guys just won't get this.
There's nothing wrong with having cumshots, so yeah you are right to want to cum, it's what our bodies need to do to stay healthy; flush out your tubes so your spunk doesn't exceed it's use by date!
I think there is nothing "Wrong" about being wary of your orgasms, although it's not a fear I've ever experienced I can- kind of- see how you could be a bit scared out if them. When I orgasm I lose control both of my body and what I'm saying, I feel like my body is in the grip of incredibly powerful forces which I don't know how to channel. It often leaves me exhausted. I can think of some orgasms I've had where I've been unable to stand afterwards.
Sometimes, especially when I was younger, I felt vulnerable and stupid after orgasming. I thought this was because I'd made a fool of myself, although typically I'd be alone so of course there would be no witnesses! Now I think it was evolutionary, a hangover from our caveman days when we had to share our territories with more predators. Behaviourists now reckon that girls go to the bathroom together on nights out as a caveman inheritance too; because ladies need to squat they would have been more vulnerable, so would have had a tribe member standing guard. I've got over my orgasm aftermath vulnerability now, maybe my exhibitionist nature has overwhelmed this or maybe sabre toothed tigers only ever wanted to maul teenagers!
You say your orgasms are intense. I think this is significant too. A lot of guys I've been with really don't orgasm as hard as I do. So maybe some guys just won't get this.
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I've split my response in two because otherwise it'd be really long.
I think Accident tourist is right about needing to cum regular. Whenever I've felt aggressive and frustrated for more than a day it's usually because I've been "Off sex", either because or recovery from illness or life been so busy that paying attention to my body's needs got pushed aside. If we were women we'd be talking about making time to jizz as being "Self care", rather than it being about pleasure, like it was merely a hobby.
Here's a suggestion that might sound mega-wierd. We've got a regular Sunday night online jack off party at LPSG. You can find out more in the Zoomers section and when registration opens there will be a noticed pinned to the top of the home page. You don't have to have your camera on; most don't and you don't need sound on either. So you can watch and participate as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. Even if you choose not to cum it'll give you ideas about how other men (Regular guys rather than pornstars) handle orgasm and all the stuff that goes with it. Plus I guess when you've got lads climaxing in real time it may "Normalise" it a bit. It's pretty supportive, it's not like a competition and I usually hang out there even after I've cum and encourage the other dudes.
I think Accident tourist is right about needing to cum regular. Whenever I've felt aggressive and frustrated for more than a day it's usually because I've been "Off sex", either because or recovery from illness or life been so busy that paying attention to my body's needs got pushed aside. If we were women we'd be talking about making time to jizz as being "Self care", rather than it being about pleasure, like it was merely a hobby.
Here's a suggestion that might sound mega-wierd. We've got a regular Sunday night online jack off party at LPSG. You can find out more in the Zoomers section and when registration opens there will be a noticed pinned to the top of the home page. You don't have to have your camera on; most don't and you don't need sound on either. So you can watch and participate as much or as little as you feel comfortable with. Even if you choose not to cum it'll give you ideas about how other men (Regular guys rather than pornstars) handle orgasm and all the stuff that goes with it. Plus I guess when you've got lads climaxing in real time it may "Normalise" it a bit. It's pretty supportive, it's not like a competition and I usually hang out there even after I've cum and encourage the other dudes.
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I don't think I have experienced the exact thing you describe here. The closest was that, when first starting out, the feeling of being close to orgasm felt sufficiently like the feeling of being about to pee that I would go to the bathroom but, when I got there, having stopped stroking, the feeling would have gone away. I remember repeating this several times but, eventually, there was some instinct that forced me to continue stroking without moving to the bathroom and thus discover orgasm.
I also think you're right that going a few days without cumming can lead to a feeling of tension. We tend to feel more relaxed, and are probably better company for others, if we cum regularly whether that is through masturbation or sex.
Once you have triggered the orgasm, it is normal for it feel like it has taken over and you're not really control any more because it is a reflex, but it only lasts a few seconds. It doesn't do anything harmful and, I think if you continue to have orgasms, you will become more comfortable with it.
I also think you're right that going a few days without cumming can lead to a feeling of tension. We tend to feel more relaxed, and are probably better company for others, if we cum regularly whether that is through masturbation or sex.
Once you have triggered the orgasm, it is normal for it feel like it has taken over and you're not really control any more because it is a reflex, but it only lasts a few seconds. It doesn't do anything harmful and, I think if you continue to have orgasms, you will become more comfortable with it.
longstroke7
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There's nothing to fear. Stroke your cock until your nuts start pumping and enjoy the load shooting out of your cock. The thicker the semen, the better.
When I was first starting out, ejaculating left me frightened and disgusted. I had a book-reading concept of what it was but was in no way prepared for the visceral, all-engulfing physicality of it, or the sudden emotional shift afterwards, or for the look and feel and volume of the mess. For a few weeks there, I tried to masturbate as little as possible and when I came I kept my eyes closed and wouldn't watch.
Eventually I psyched myself up, inwardly told myself "I can do this!" and forced myself to watch. It still looked and felt very alien, but I was able to see it as less scary, as something to be proud of. I do remember the fear of those times. I think this is something a lot of guys don't talk about. Sexuality can be a source of great joy and fulfillment, and also frustration and emptiness, and sheer effort and drive and stress. Being unavoidably confronted with the most all-consuming, all-over-the-place act of it, in a gigantic sign that you have changed, you are physiologically different than you were before, can be alarming for a younger guy.
Eventually I psyched myself up, inwardly told myself "I can do this!" and forced myself to watch. It still looked and felt very alien, but I was able to see it as less scary, as something to be proud of. I do remember the fear of those times. I think this is something a lot of guys don't talk about. Sexuality can be a source of great joy and fulfillment, and also frustration and emptiness, and sheer effort and drive and stress. Being unavoidably confronted with the most all-consuming, all-over-the-place act of it, in a gigantic sign that you have changed, you are physiologically different than you were before, can be alarming for a younger guy.
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