Masturbation Replacing Sex?

Reddhott

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There is a topic in the AAW forum asking if women have a problem with their partner wanking 3-4 times a week.

My answer to the original question would have been that I don't think that masturbation is the same as sex in a man's mind and if it doesn't cut into my time, I don't care. So this post puzzles me:

Here is my thinking on this. I've done my fair share of jerking off, and I can certainly enjoy it because it feels good! BUT, you know what, after jerking off, I'm less interested in having sex with my partner [men--be honest with the ladies here!!].....and I don't like that either. So if you are jerking off 3-4 times a week; that's 3-4 times you're not that interested in having sex with your partner........... Not good (in my opinion). Also, I think most women will be surprised that men want to jerk off that often--3-4 times per week!!

So I'm trying something new. I talked to my partner (who enjoys sex and has an open mind about keeping things fresh), and instead of sneaking off to the bathroom, shower or spare bedroom to jerk off......i am telling her that I'm horny, need release and we are trying to incorporate masturbation into something we do together. Sometimes it leads to lovemaking; other times to giving and receiving oral sex; sometimes she helps me or lets me stroke myself while holding and kissing me...for her, watching and feeling me touch myself turns her on. ALL of which are better than stroking myself all alone. If she's not in the mood, then I'm waiting till "she is in the mood."

So far, it is working out OK. She knows I can get horny in a minute and may like to jerk off (or have sex) often...and she is good with that. She feels better that I am seeking and receiving pleasure and sexual release with her, rather than off by myself......just my thoughts. Peace.

If you have a partner, does masturbation inhibit your drive towards your woman? Do you masturbate less often when sex is available? What are your thoughts about the above quote?
 
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185248

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I by vibes for my love, have done for ages. I don't expect her to use them only in my presence, and she does not expect me to masturbate for her all the time in hers...although, it is very horny...:) :). We all like those moments we play and drift off.

Latest one is more of a vibe massager. (she loooooooves it :) ) I myself like using stainless rings and things. Sometimes we video ourselves, playing with ourselves, or take a pic while in action and send it when one or either of us is working. Or veiw the action taken on cam when we get home after work. Ahhhh, modern tech :)

You can be alone, but you do not need to exclude your love, partner or friend totally from the action :)

She dressed up in her red patent sandals, corset, spread herself on my desk one time with a green g-spot vibe between thighs one time and turned the cam on and recorded it while I be at work.
 
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Reddhott

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I'm not arguing against couples having their alone time. My question was, does it diminish your desire for sex with your partner?
 
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185248

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I'm not arguing against couples having their alone time. My question was, does it diminish your desire for sex with your partner?

No, if anything it enhances it. If, it is an honest relationship, you are open about eachothers sexuality and not being afraid to express to your partner what turns you on.

It is extremely horny when the person you have sex with 'gets' what turns you or them on....and off.

It can kill it, if there are secrets.
 
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I've always been a happy individual, pretty easy going. In my relationships, if I lose that happiness within myself, then it's a pretty good indication something is not working.
 

Reddhott

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I've always been a happy individual, pretty easy going. In my relationships, if I lose that happiness within myself, then it's a pretty good indication something is not working.

Can you relate this to my original questions? Are you saying that if you are masturbating a lot it is an indication that your relationship is in trouble?
 
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Do you want me to answer his questions, or yours?

Ok, I like to get off by myself. Does it inhibit sex with her? No

Does not being honest inhibit a relationship? Yes

Do I masturbate a lot? No

What do I think about while I masturbate? My cock :), and how good it feels in my hand.

What starts me masturbating? Depends on my fetish at the time. Lactation, fisting, big cock, personal vids...a multitude of stuff, it varies.
 
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cbxer55

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The last two years my wife and I were together, we did not have sex. Had nothing to do with me masturbating, she just "was not interested at all". Yes, we are currently separated, since August 2012. Still talk. Still manage to spend some time together now and then.

I masturbate a lot, at least once every other day. It's simple, use it or lose it. It also involves prostate health. If she does not want to have sex, I am going to use my hand. If sex involves wearing a rubber, I am going to use my hand. I cannot feel a damn thing when wearing a condom, so therefore do not enjoy it at all. My wife made me wear rubbers the entire 18 years we were married. I did not enjoy it, preferred no rubber and pulling out at the end.

In the end, she had a full hysterectomy in Jan 2011, and we had no sex at all after that. Funny, as the need for the rubber was gone after that, and she did not want to have sex. :confused:
 

MisterVIP

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There is a topic in the AAW forum asking if women have a problem with their partner wanking 3-4 times a week.

My answer to the original question would have been that I don't think that masturbation is the same as sex in a man's mind and if it doesn't cut into my time, I don't care. So this post puzzles me:



1. If you have a partner, does masturbation inhibit your drive towards your woman?

2. Do you masturbate less often when sex is available?

3. What are your thoughts about the above quote?

1A: No, it does not inhibit my drive, in fact it increases my drive towards her; makes me want her more.

2A: Depends on how much sex is available. If it's very frequent, then yes, less...a little.

3A: Not sure what there is to respond to on that guy's opinion. It's cool that they incorporated self-play into their team-play efforts.
 

Dell1962

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No, it does not inhibit my desire for my wife. I cum everyday at my own hand, it is serves as a physical release. I can use my imagination and I can have a satisfying orgasm. However, I long for the physical closeness of my wife's body. I desire to make love to her, to go down on her, to make her cum, to be in her and to cum in her.

Do I jerk off less often when sex is available? A little, but no, not really. My wife cums once and then done. Me, I can cum again and again. Even at my age.
 

Reddhott

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No, it does not inhibit my desire for my wife. I cum everyday at my own hand, it is serves as a physical release. I can use my imagination and I can have a satisfying orgasm. However, I long for the physical closeness of my wife's body. I desire to make love to her, to go down on her, to make her cum, to be in her and to cum in her.

Do I jerk off less often when sex is available? A little, but no, not really. My wife cums once and then done. Me, I can cum again and again. Even at my age.

So it seems I was right that most men don't equate masturbation and sex.
 

lovinglife

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Are we talking minutes or days? IOW, if you jack in the shower before bed, am I out of luck til morning?
It would probably vary. If we hadn't had sex in a while I would probably be ready to go. If we usually have sex it might be a bit (like an hour) before I am really interested. For me there would probably be things that a girl could do that would instantly get me in the mood too though.
 

silvian

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with masturbation you could have sex with all partner you really want (in your fantasy) with normal sex intercourse you can have only sex with your partner.
Sometime we have got some terrible fantasy that could born and die only in our mind.
 

Reddhott

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with masturbation you could have sex with all partner you really want (in your fantasy) with normal sex intercourse you can have only sex with your partner.
Sometime we have got some terrible fantasy that could born and die only in our mind.

I understand the need for masturbation, but would your partner be left wanting if you indulge?
 

simbablk

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When sex is readily available, I gravitate towards sex more than masturbation. That isn't to say there isn't a time and place for solo cock stroking. But when I can get pussy, I WANT pussy!

Simba
 

Ed69

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I understand the need for masturbation, but would your partner be left wanting if you indulge?

Not with me,just give me ten minutes and I'm ready to go again.The down side is that it will take 30-45 minutes for me to finish again,so be ready for a long ride.:tongue:
 
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Popyuu

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If you have a partner, does masturbation inhibit your drive towards your woman? Do you masturbate less often when sex is available? What are your thoughts about the above quote?

It didn't inhibit my drive but it did inhibit how many times we could have sex in one sitting. Masturbation happens much much less when i'm in a relationship. As for the quote. Don't know, it seems to be working for them.