I keep telling' you guys but no one will listen (isn't that what's called 'Cassandra' syndrome?... Come to think of it, what exactly IS a sin-drome: some kind of ARENA where people commit terrible acts against the laws of God?... which brings us back to our original warning:
If you guys don't stop masturbating in hotels room, which is expressly forbidden in the Old Testament (why do you think hotel rooms have Gideon Bibles in them?), you are turning these rooms into small-scale sin-dromes, and the Almighty will smite you for your irreverence,(which isn't all that bad if he smites your penis. If he smites your balls, however, it really hurts.)
In short (or possibly in shorts), you are imperiling your soul if you spend a lot of time touching yourself, stroking your balls, teasing your cock, slowly working your shaft back and forth, moaning, groaning, thrusting.. oh God, excuse me...