Masturbation

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by sketcher, Aug 7, 2005.

  1. sketcher

    sketcher Active Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    42
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    155
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    midwest USA
    So here's the deal: i LOVE my gf. let's establish that. and i am completely HOT for my gf. let's doubly establish that. and my gf is Catholic. Irish-Catholic on one side and Mexican on the other (i know!!!) ...Curves for Jesus.

    thing is, she won't masturbate--has done so a few times with unsatisfying results and wrote it off. my claim is that we'll have better sex if she learns her body (her claim is that we'll have better sex if I stop bugging her--i think we're both right). So what's up, beautiful women? what has masturbating done/not done for you? how has it affected your sex life, if at all? and finally...because I'm horny (ha. I'm ALWAYS horny), are you the woman in my Mutual Masturbation Fantasy?


    Cool! ...I thought so!

    L
     
  2. jonb

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2002
    Messages:
    8,308
    Likes Received:
    2
    There are books about how a woman can enjoy masturbation more. Betty Dodson comes to mind. Unfortunately, us guys don't have the same privilege; at least not without looking gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.)
     
  3. madame_zora

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,252
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ohio
    Masturbation is a very different thing for a woman than a man. I think there are a lot of women who (like me) take a very long time to get comfortable enough with their own mechanics to masturbate to orgasm. You are both right, for sure. She WOULD enjoy sex more if she learned how to make herself cum, but she WON'T enjoy it if you keep bugging her to do it. Sounds too much like a homework assignment.

    As for the last part, you know I luv ya.
     
  4. godiluvabig1

    godiluvabig1 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    306
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Florida
    Masturbate--daily...
    Especially if I'm not having sex at the time... Such as right now, cuz my SO is over in Iraq but will be back soon, and he'll be in for it ;)

    BTW... I'm bringing him to LPSG when he gets back in Jan...
     
  5. ItsJustMe

    ItsJustMe New Member

    Joined:
    May 2, 2005
    Messages:
    116
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Eastern US
    I don't masturbate often and never have but it's something I enjoy. For whatever reason I don't have a need to do it. I will say that while I was married I got more pleasure from myself than from the ex-husband, though.
     
  6. Imported

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2000
    Messages:
    56,713
    Likes Received:
    55
    zgirl248: I make it my daily business to masturbate every single day. I do it everywhere. at work, at the movies, even in the back of our van as a teen!!! And I love mutual!! Its so fun watching eachother with the goofy faces we make as we cream!!!
     
  7. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    Sketcher,

    Perhaps your girlfriend has hangups about it because of her religion. I know if seems strange if she is having sex (which is against Catholic teaching before marriage) but sex is one thing because it is pleasuring the other person as well but masturbation is self sex and there is no way around that. I can not even imagine what it must be like not to know that fabulous feeling. IT is all part of self discovery. I am imagining your girlfriend is pretty young at this point? Give her time .The theories, the hangups , and the lack of incentive may wane as she gets older. Remember women dont even reach their sexual peak until they are in their 40's. I guess its that way because otherwise if we all had the peak at the same time we wouldnt get anything done and the world would be even more over populated! LOL! Tell her there is nothing wrong with knowing what makes her feel good. That way she can tell you what you need to do!


    naughty
     
  8. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,226
    Likes Received:
    2
    Hmmm, long hiatus!
    I always find it so weird that people can not know their bodies at all! Maybe I'm just too used to living in mine, but I always thought that self exploration was as easy as just finding out what turns you on and probing the right places...call me ignorant then!
     
  9. madame_zora

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,252
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ohio
    Not ignorant, Orca- sezzy!

    It's just different for women, our organs don't protrude and we just seem to take longer to get around to discovering what they can do. It's really not all that unusual for a younger woman not to have explored herself very much, it will come along in time.
     
  10. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,226
    Likes Received:
    2
    I'm always a firm beliver (ha ha!) that self exploration is a good thing. But yeah, for guys it is very easy to get going, but you'd be surprised that some men don't know what works.
     
  11. jonb

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2002
    Messages:
    8,308
    Likes Received:
    2
    Men seem to get some aspects of the male anatomy. Not all of it, though; virgins who write porn still don't seem to get it the anatomy of either gender.
     
  12. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,226
    Likes Received:
    2
    Oh well, my career's over before it started then.
     
  13. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2004
    Messages:
    3,174
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC but never stop traveling
    Sketch, do you masturbate in front of her? What is or would be her reaction to your bringing yourself off? Being a big 'mo, I love watching my boyfriend please himself. It's incredibly sexy. But maybe that's just a guy thing...

    You have an incredible dick, so I can't imagine anyone who loves you not wanting to watch you play with it.

    Maybe start by doing yourself and invite her to join you???
     
  14. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2004
    Messages:
    2,283
    Likes Received:
    1
    I started when I was about 16 but I didn't know what the heck I was doing so I did it very infrequently.

    I don't think I really got into it until my husband bought me some toys before he did a 6 month cruise to the Persian Gulf for the navy. I think it was a very brilliant idea on his behalf. It was the first time I was introduced to a clit stimulator and it changed my life. I became orgasmic for the first time and I even think I got addicted to masturbation there for a while.

    I slowed down to a crawl once I had little ones. It's kind of hard to have some uninterrupted enjoyable time to myself anymore. Although I might start picking it up again soon since my husband now works late nights and we only get to have sex on the weekends now.
     
  15. naughty

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2004
    Messages:
    12,837
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Workin' up a good pot of mad!
    HI,

    I think I stumbled upon it accidentally. Because I think that most young children naturally do it I must have done some form of self stimulation as child and not even realized that was what I was doing. I think I became consciously aware my first year of graduate school. By sheer accident I found the most delicious sensation through indirect stimuation. I found that my masturbation pretty much followed the rising and ebbing of my hormonal cycle. I was then introduced to direct stimulation during a heavy petting session with a former boyfriend. It was different but just as wonderful. I learned that what I had been experiencing was called an orgasm somewhere between the two moments of revelation. It was through direct stimulation that I became so much more aware of my body its textures , its changes , and the fragrances and odors that it created during the course of a month. I think everyone should take the time to learn their own body .How can you tell someone else what you need and how to achieve it if you are not even aware yourself.

    Naughty
     
  16. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,226
    Likes Received:
    2
    I agree there, Naughty. there's only so much self-help books and word of mouth can do, but you actually have to get your hands dirty and work it out yourself.
     
  17. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2004
    Messages:
    3,174
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC but never stop traveling
    I agree. That's why mutual masturbation is the best way to lower inhibitions. Showing your partner how you get yourself off can only help him or her doing the same to you...
     
  18. like10x7

    like10x7 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2005
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    I started masturbating when i was 12...yeah i was an early bird but it started with indirect stimulation with the shower head. i got the sensation and made it a habit every time i took a shower to get that tingling feeling. It wasn't until i was 16 years that i learned what a clitoris is and that it was the source of the pleasure i felt. I masturbate about 1-2 times a week now because there is no privacy at home...but when i was at college and had a room to myself. I did it every day but i have never used any toys...In time, i will explore that to the fullest.
     
  19. average Joe

    average Joe New Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TN
    Friend, I am in the same boat.

    My wife does not masterbate. She is nearly 40 now and has never done so. It has taken me 16 years to get her to touch herself while I am caressing her thighs . . . and she does it for my visual pleasure rather than her own I am sure.

    BUT

    I have this buzzer thing I use to bring her to orgasm. It is not phallic shaped, it is a neck massager thing. She loves it.

    My question is of course "What the hell?" Why can I use, for all intensive purpose, a vibrator on her and she love it but she will not use it on herself or touch herself to have an orgasm.

    I do not nag her about it. We have great sex and plenty of it. She is a babydoll though and I wish she would just unwind a little with her own body. It just is not going to happen though.

    Average Joe
     
  20. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

    Joined:
    May 10, 2004
    Messages:
    2,226
    Likes Received:
    2
    Hmmm, I'm guessing it's psychological rather than physical, but heck, I doubt many people here are one to judge.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted