I preferred different things about different partners. I'll be using nicknames to distinguish as I write of them. Chulito was so snuggly and affectionate, and his kisses were addictive. But he could really only fuck me a couple times in a night, and he wasn't great at oral, and didn't like to have his dick sucked for the first few years, until he got a circumcision. His dick was the prettiest, then after he got cut, it was the ugliest. He had the hottest body. Still does. I really missed the oral sex though.
Tickles had a gorgeous, smooth complexion, and an epicurean appetite for everything. He loved eating pussy, and was amazing at it. He loved getting his cock sucked, and it fit my mouth and throat perfectly. His cum was disgusting, and he hated kissing and snuggling. He was worldly, and the best arm candy because he was as conversant as he was beautiful. I really missed the hugs and kisses.
Dreamer was seemingly the total package. An eager to please lover who had no experience, and was completely mold-able to my preferences. He wanted to fuck 5-6 times a night, sometimes more. Rarely, we both had time for a night and the next day, and could easily deplete our supply of condoms. He loved kissing and snuggling, and oral sex. I couldn't fit his girth into my throat comfortably, but he did fuck the hell out of my ass. He loved giving oral, and was very good, but not great at it. Given time, greatness would have come, but we only lasted a year. We kept falling in love with each other, and pulling back. It would have been better if he'd been open to us falling in love, but it frightened him. I suspect he could not bring a black woman home. He ended our affair to go exclusive with my white equivalent. She even looked like me, just white. With him, the flow of things just never felt organic. It was always an urgent explosion of passion, and a desperate retreat. I missed the ease of a truly comfortable pairing.
Das Goot was demanding, and I ate that up. He was just okay at everything, but he was sexy, and had a ridiculously hot German accent. He made me laugh all the time. His cock was the smallest of the lovers I had at the time, and the most versatile. He didn't like anal, wouldn't let me rim him, wouldn't rim me. I missed that. He was a demanding, intense kisser, and he held me often, but it lacked a certain something that would have made it feel more like a snuggle. I missed that too. He also wouldn't let me sleep in his apartment. I always had to go home. We couldn't spend the night together, and I think that was his defense against getting attached. It lasted a summer, and ended when his ex came to town. He wanted to try to make that work. He was incredibly exciting, but no real distraction from the others.
Of those four, from my second year single, I clearly had a favorite and least favorite. But, none was so great I wanted to ditch the others, and none was so awful that the others made me want to ditch him. The one I favored was all over the place with his own emotions. He was, in truth, the one who could not handle the situation. His feelings would change palpably, and that would open the door for me to be more receptive to returning those kinds of feelings. Things would intensify, and he would flee. Or, things would intensify, and I would flee, because we'd been there before. It just never was allowed to be a natural, organic progression, and it made me always miss the ease and comfort of just being natural with my other lovers. ANd whenever things got rough with him, it was easy to pull back because I had three other men who wanted my attention, who were at least as good as he was at leaving me feeling well-fucked. Just in different ways.