maybe already a thread on this

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Hairy Truman, Oct 17, 2011.

  1. D_Hairy Truman

    D_Hairy Truman New Member

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    for the ladies. if you see a guy out in public and you think he may be interested in you, how do you like or prefer to be approached?
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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  3. dolfette

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    i don't like being approached by strangers in public.
    good looking or ugly, makes no difference.
     
  4. atlclgurl

    atlclgurl Member

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    If you insist on approaching me, smile, be polite, be witty, don't stare at my chest, don't run some idiotic line on me, and don't be a tool.

    Be a human being I can interact with, not a walking hard on.
     
  5. VernalTiger

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    Don't neg. It's poor form, and makes you look like a tool.
     
  6. EllieP

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    My gut feeling is always to be cautious about a stranger complimenting me, but I always respond politely if he's shown no signs of perving. But the microsecond any creepiness appears I'm gone. My husband gets a perverted delight in watching my put downs because they scorch. I have found over the years that it's the only effective way to deal with those who can't take no for an answer.

    Mum says it makes me look ugly when I'm mean, but there are times when one has to be ugly.

    So if you approach me simply tell me good morning or whatever. That should be sufficient unless there is a weather condition you would care to take note of. Anything else borders on being too familiar, and my guard is on yellow alert. An invitation to coffee or a drink turns it red immediately and the "no, thanks" response is your first and only warning.
     
  7. D_Hairy Truman

    D_Hairy Truman New Member

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    i read these books by so-called pick up artists, i know not good. just so i have some idea on what not to say to a woman as if everything i say is here want some dick? small sampling here, but it sounds like i was kind of right in my assumptions that it isn't easy just to meet someone new and start from there.
     
    #7 D_Hairy Truman, Oct 18, 2011
    Last edited: Oct 18, 2011
  8. SprinkleMe69

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    Smile and say hello. :smile:
     
  9. Tully77

    Tully77 Member

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    I have been smiling, smiling with a hello/hi, or at most smiling with good morning my whole life. Never got any dates or hook-ups from it and have learned not to expect them. Always nice to get a smile and/or hi back. Older women usually take it complimentary. What's funny is how the ladies' comments on here match my experiences, yet this kind of "pick-up" stuff is portrayed as a common way to meet women.

    Vernal Tiger - what do you mean by "neg"?

    EllieP - are you saying that you routinely get hit on when with your husband? That seems unusual.
     
  10. NotSoDumb_Blonde

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    I think if you framed your question differently: "if you see a guy out in public who is interested in you and you're interested in him, how do you like to be approached?" then you might see some different results.

    :) Unless, the original question, was your question.
     
  11. VernalTiger

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    '

    Negging is a technique used by pick up artists (PUA). The Game by Neil Strauss gives a good insight into the PUA culture.

    A neg is a fairly thinly veiled putdown, designed to "cut down" a woman by playing on her insecurities. This allows average men to bring beautiful women (and therefore the type of women they'd never normally dare to approach) down to their level.

    A friend got negged the other night - the guy asked her if she'd ever broken her nose, because it looked crooked. When she left the table, he turned to another girl and said, "Your friend is cute, but she's a bit mannish, don't you think?"
     
  12. dolfette

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    so that's why guys do that?
    i just assumed they were jerks.
     
  13. VernalTiger

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    Well, that too. I imagine it also takes a bit more panache than was possessed by the guy in my example.
     
  14. dolfette

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    i always think that a guy who either kisses my arse of makes a critical comment the first time we meet is not my type. i'm sure negging is great if you only ever want to date needy, insecure people.
     
  15. redz_rule

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    *is stunned*

    That is just so, so.... manipulative

    Guys buy books telling them how to do this? Ugh.
     
  16. D_Hairy Truman

    D_Hairy Truman New Member

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    well there are free downloads. but i was always told to get a woman you have to be funny, make her laugh, listen to her complain, and do what she wants. so any comments there?
     
  17. dolfette

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    you were told wrong.
    a sense of humour is nice but a clown is annoying.
    do what she wants?? who respects a doormat?

    my advice would be to be a decent person.
    be polite, caring and interested in others.
    do not settle for less respect than you offer.
    do not give less respect than you expect to receive.
    anything else is a matter of personal taste.
     
  18. LUM_1986

    LUM_1986 Member

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    No, but arseholes do; because you'd have have the basics of arsehole-ary down first before learning to 'step up' your game...
     
  19. OhWiseOne

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    I like the advice. But in my case it only goes as far as having another freind. Which isn't all bad. :smile:
     
  20. D_GlennFeckless

    D_GlennFeckless Account Disabled

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    To "get" a woman requires little more than a big club and a strong enough grip to drag her by the hair back to your cave.

    To meet people you should be sincere, approachable yourself, polite and interesting. Manufacturing any of the preceding in hopes of "getting over" is banking on low intelligence and low standards of your quarry.

    If all you care about it getting your peepee wet, then by all means, demean yourself and the women you approach with pick-up artist tricks. Be sure to do it where those things are expected (meat markets) and you'll be certain to find a higher percentage of targets who'll likely respond favorably, or at least are less likely to kick you in the nuts.

    Put yourself in situations where you're genuinely happy and don't be afraid to smile & say "hi" as long as it isn't intended, or perceived, as a come-on. You'll be surprised how much fun it is to just be friendly.
     
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