maybe already a thread on this

[Enid]

I also don't like being approached, unless someone with pure intention makes a silly/fun/astute comment to me in passing showing me appreciation but no expectation. I have a weird thing with communication. I am not entirely typical. However, I'd still wager that if you let go of an agenda and instead get actually interested in any person you approach with comments, comments geared to their actual individuality, then you should have the kind of success that matters.

 

[Enid]

well there are free downloads. but i was always told to get a woman you have to be funny, make her laugh, listen to her complain, and do what she wants. so any comments there?

also, it might be wise not to "do" anything to get a partner.

just simply be the exact kind of partner you want. it'll come to ya.

if you do those things...be funny, making people laugh, listen...do them out of real compassion and sincerity. otherwise it means crap.

that's just my thoughts.

 

[PerfectlySexy]

I'm not a lady but I think you are right that it is not easy in this society. Women, understandably, have their guards up. Men who are not douchebags, understandably, will often not even approach someone out of fear of being seen as creepy. So women continue to be approached most often by asshole men, thus justifying their guards being up. Non-asshole men get the cold-shoulder whenever they approach women thus justifying their trepidation in doing-so.

I do agree with most here: by being yourself you're most likely to attract people who want to spend time with someone like you. Still if you're the shy type you do have to at least be willing to say hello to people and attempt to start a conversation. Hopefully there will be something interesting in the setting/situation to talk about. The difficult thing is persistence, many women like/want to be chased and have barriers to get past before they will even see you, but you don't want to cross into creepy territory. But realize all you can really do is say hello, and if you're paying attention hopefully, if she's a decent person, she'll make it obvious as to whether your conversation is welcome.

 

[B_Coconutz]

for the ladies. if you see a guy out in public and you think he may be interested in you, how do you like or prefer to be approached?

When I want to persue a woman in public, I usually walk up and ask her what the fuck is wrong with her. After the initial slap, she knows what I'm willing to do for her.

 

[Draconis71]

*is stunned*

That is just so, so.... manipulative

Guys buy books telling them how to do this? Ugh.

And, this from a WOMAN??? ;P (Heh, guess we learn from the best...)


As for those "guaranteed to get a woman" things... it's a bunch of douchebaggery, assholisim, etc. Some reason, women often DO fall for the douche/asshole vs decent guy.

 

[curiouslady]

"A friend got negged the other night - the guy asked her if she'd ever broken her nose, because it looked crooked."

I can tell you one thing - THAT guy would be visiting the dentist the next morning. Probably about $1000 worth of work too!

Whether he said that remark about me OR MY friend, he'd be picking his teeth up off the floor, one by one. GEEZE talk about an a-hole.

(I'd also remark that his dick looked small, had it ever been used??)

GEEEEEEEEEEZZZZEEE. No wonder some guys stay virgins forever, with that type of attitude we sure don't need them procreating.

NOT curious about those types of a-holes...geeezzze.

 

[D_Hairy Truman]

No, but arseholes do; because you'd have have the basics of arsehole-ary down first before learning to 'step up' your game...

tru dat

 

[RealConnoisseur]

I'm quite witty, and pretty astute, or so I've been told (and now I sound like a cock!). But I've found it easy to bounce off people in social situations and that has always proved the best tool when talking to girls. There is no formula as everyone is different, but 'negging' does work, it was actually something I did just naturally because I like to take the piss and then heard about it through people reading pick up books. It is something that's hard to get right though as you have to be able to gauge how far to take it, different people have different levels of what offends them.

I got with my current gf through taking her seat in the pub, then taking the piss out of her sister (obviously in a playful way, not by being an arse). She's quite a reserved girl that would never have normally allowed to get 'chatted up' but I guess it was endearing.

Best advice to give is to be genuine, smile, and to throw yourself in to as many social situations as possible, being able to take charge and be confident is paramount. Maybe learn a shit joke, not too corny though.

Oh and LISTEN (x1000). Remember when you're talking to someone it's a conversation, even if you just want one thing out of it.

Finally don't put the pussy on a pedestal <- best advice I ever got.

 

[Enid]

I've never heard of this negging thing until this thread. I know it wouldn't work on me (no one's ever tried, but I know if someone were to try it I'd likely stare a spot behind their head and then just walk away when it was polite to do so), so my advice would be not to engage in that kind of behaviour. But, I'm probably atypical. Maybe it does work for some folks. I speculate that the people you would attract by giving out put-downs aren't very stable emotionally. Just my take.

 

[EllieP]

Never heard of negging either, but if it ever happened to me I would simply chalk it up to immaturity and laugh them off. Nothing more wilting than a well-placed laugh aimed at the offending party. It usually starts their entourage laughing at them as well.

 

[dolfette]

it's certainly happened to me!
seriously, i just assumed they were arseholes.
self depreciating humour is cute.
i prefer guys who save the leg pulling until they actually know me.

 

[RealConnoisseur]

well the idea is you build a little rapport first, don't just go in with it, and don't be actually insulting, be cheeky.