Me and my bf are thinking about a threesome. Help?

harukin

Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2021
Posts
55
Media
0
Likes
105
Points
43
Location
Gramado (Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Hello everybody
So, me (m) and my bf (m) are thinking about doing a threesome. Not necessarily soon but it's something that we've been wanting. Yesterday we talked about our feelings and desires and it became clear that we have this desire of making out with other boys and etc. I personally don't think I'd be able to have an open relationship, but I often think about me having sex with other guys and even a three-way. I've lost my virginity with my boyfriend and sometimes I'm curious about how it feels to do it with someone else, with a different dick and taste and etc.
Although, of course we are scared of everything. What would it be like? What's after like? What to do in the moment? How to find the right guy? What about ISTS? Would we still the same after doing that? Everything is coming to our heads.
Maybe if we could go somewhere and just make out with a guy together but without sex would be enough?
We often fantasized about threeways, my boyfriend always like when I create histories out of my head about us going out and making out and having sex with other men, even men we know that we wouldn't be able to be with. It was most like a fetish of imagination but of course now we see this as a wish.
Yesterday he allowed me to create a Snapchat account for us to talk with other men and trade nudes but he wasn't in the mood for that but I was, so he allowed me to talk and trade nudes with the guys and to be honest I did but i didn't really enjoy it as much as I thought I would (I always have been a nude trader but when my relationship started an year ago I stopped with that, ofc).
We talked about all of that, our communication is very very good and we understand each other, and I'm happy that we have this safe space where we can share our thoughts and desires and etc, and we don't want to lose each other.
Anyone could help? Any tips about what to do about this situation? Any advices? Any similar stories? Everything will be welcomed!
 

ts1986

Experimental Member
Joined
May 6, 2023
Posts
1
Media
0
Likes
3
Points
3
Location
Sao Paulo, Sao Paulo, BR
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Hey! Similar story here! A couple months ago my bf and I tried to do threesome and we didn’t move forward coz we were trying to make the sex an appointment. So it cold cold and on the date, we gave up coz we r not in the mood.
then again we tried last month and we were having some wine and talking with some random on Grindr and he happens to be a lose neighbor. We promptly ask him to come and we did the threesome.
the thing is, for it to happen it must be at that exactly moment other wise we start thinking with the brain and not with the penis. The penis must do the call hahah
 

harukin

Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2021
Posts
55
Media
0
Likes
105
Points
43
Location
Gramado (Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Hey! Similar story here! A couple months ago my bf and I tried to do threesome and we didn’t move forward coz we were trying to make the sex an appointment. So it cold cold and on the date, we gave up coz we r not in the mood.
then again we tried last month and we were having some wine and talking with some random on Grindr and he happens to be a lose neighbor. We promptly ask him to come and we did the threesome.
the thing is, for it to happen it must be at that exactly moment other wise we start thinking with the brain and not with the penis. The penis must do the call hahah
hahaha thank you so much for sharing your story. can i ask more about it? if yes, can it be here in the thread or dm? i'd love to know more and set some things clear
 

harukin

Expert Member
Joined
May 23, 2021
Posts
55
Media
0
Likes
105
Points
43
Location
Gramado (Rio Grande do Sul, Brazil)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
I could never do it. I could be the third but I couldn’t ever be in a relationship and do it. I’m just not mentally built to have an open situation
opening a relationship and having a 3some with your partner are two different things, just for the record, but i got your point. it is ok tho! not everyone has to do it indeed or feel like doing it and it's completely normal
 

8Cylinder

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Mar 31, 2017
Posts
527
Media
52
Likes
4,248
Points
413
Location
Umbria, Italy
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Due partly to the fact I've been out now for 49 years, I can share with you my varied experiences with a third, in the hope that it will save you some potential pitfalls when bringing in a third. It can be really beautiful, and enhance your relationship, satisfy your curiosity and eliminate suspicion. It can also be a dividing point, and create drama that is completely disappointing (and unnecessary).

There are some primary considerations for an enjoyable threesome, rules that are fairly universal.

- Mutual attraction: for all three, each regarding the other two as equally interesting.
- Agreed boundaries, if any, between the couple and the third, explaining those to him prior.
- Safe sex considerations, honest status, most recent test, history and expectations.
- Understanding your ability to love seeing your partner stimulated by another, and be excited by that.
- Expectations regarding prior or future one on one sex with the third party, and honored agreements there

I fondly remember most of the threesome sex I've ever had, and a single fivesome experience. There were a couple of disasters, but that can happen with two as well.

The last rule is relax and enjoy it.
 

BiteSize

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Oct 21, 2004
Posts
221
Media
18
Likes
2,037
Points
598
Location
France
Verification
View
Sexuality
60% Straight, 40% Gay
Gender
Male
I got a call recently from an old fuckbuddy — he's actually young and gorgeous — who'd moved away years ago and was now with another older guy, almost as old as me. As soon as I heard his voice and his offer of an "interesting proposition" I knew what he had in mind. He had a very specific plan so the rules were drawn up from the start and there was no awkwardness, no embarrassment: just a meeting in a classy hotel, a shower, then him and me falling hungrily on each other's cock. The only thing that changed from our fuckbuddy days was there was little or no kissing — I guess he saved his kisses for his new guy, who joined in once we'd got started.
Not my first threesome experience but the nicest.
 
  • Love
Reactions: 8Cylinder

Stephenmass

Legendary Member
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Posts
2,589
Media
2
Likes
2,254
Points
333
Location
Boston
Sexuality
80% Gay, 20% Straight
Gender
Male
A lot of it depends on whether you can (or your partner) withstand watching another please your guy in whatever ways that were previously discussed yes, but when it happens in reality, you or your partner find it isn't what it was cut out to be. Possible jealousies if the third say is paying more attention to you or vice versa, if either of you seem to be enjoying it more with the third than ever with each other, etc. It's not as easy as 1, 2, 3 basically.

To be fair, I've seen others not have a problem doing this and they were fine with whatever happens. But more often than not, it provides (opens the door) an outlet that either you or your partner might find more exciting than the relationship for lack of a better word. That would be ok IF, and it's a big if, either of the two of you are prepared for that. Often times, it can lead to more by one or both of you. Sometimes on the side if that third guy finds one of you to his liking and kind of leaves the other alone. There are so many variables. We all have those fantasies of a threesome (done in my single days before I was in a relationship) after being with someone for awhile. It depends on the reasons why.

It can work for some. That said it can be detrimental for some relationships as well. Sometimes be careful what you wish for applies if either of you are not ready to watch your man potentially be more pleased with the third guy than they have been with the sexual part of your current relationship.