Meet someone you have known online...

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by blueorchid, Nov 4, 2006.

  1. blueorchid

    blueorchid New Member

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    Well, I'm going to experience something I've never been through before, so I'm here to check out the personal experiences of someone who has already lived this. A couple of months ago I met this guy online, he's from Italy (my homecountry) and he's a very nice guy, at least from what I can see in our talks. We talk often and for long time, about no matter which topic, and it is so good I never thought it was possible with someone I only knew online.
    Now he told me that he is coming for work in Bordeaux (which is quite close to Toulouse, the city I live in) and will stay a week. He asked me to meet him and now I feel so weird because I want to meet him and at the same time I am scared...
    I know what I wrote here sounds silly :p but I'd be relieved to know if someone has ever experienced to meet in real someone who they have known online.
    Thanks for your help! :)
     
  2. Gain on 10

    Gain on 10 New Member

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    Yes.

    It turns out one of two ways.

    The connection you felt is real and it's intense and incredible.

    The connection you felt disappears upon seeing him and it's a train wreck.

    It's really starting over. You can never tell if it will transfer to real life.
     
  3. jeff black

    jeff black <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    You sound alot like me. I have had many similar feelings at one time or another.

    It isn't silly at all, I think that being scared is completely natural. In the past, I have had offers where I could meet people but ended up being too nervous to do it. If you are nervous, but still want to meet him, I suggest you meet him at a resturaunt or something like that. This way, you can see if you have something in common off the internet.
    If you have feelings about him and want to meet the guy, why not meet him.Good luck.
     
  4. MidwestGal

    MidwestGal Member

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    I have been meeting people online for about 13 years. Only one was a weirdo. I met him in a public place so it wasn't a big deal. i have had some great experiences and relationships from people I have met online. it is just as risky as meeting anyone any other way!
     
  5. joyboytoy79

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    Blue,

    I've met many of my closest friends through an initial internet friendship. The internet is a great way to meet people, but keep a few things in mind:

    1) The internet offers a bit of a veil of anonymity. People who are normally shy tend to come more to life online. If your guy seems shy when you first meet him, give him a few moments to warm up. Remember that his online personality is really an extension of his real life personality.

    2) Meet in a public place. Like Jeff said, a restaurant is a great place. You never do KNOW what this guy is like until you've known him in person for a while. There are a few wierdos out there, be cautious.

    3) Be yourself and have fun!
     
  6. ~quicksilver~

    ~quicksilver~ New Member

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    Met my last Boyfriend off the internet, the connection was definately real and we had a great relationship....

    Definately meet in a public place and get to know each other/chat face to face and see how things go. After meeting quite a few guys off the net the only thing I would say is don't feel pressured or obliged to do anything sexually if you don't want to. Sometimes you feel because of the flirting and things that have happened online you feel like you have to carry things through into the physical... but if you don't feel a vibe or don't connect in that way it is better to accept it and either just be friends or move on.

    Hope that helps!
     
  7. Chubby Bear

    Chubby Bear New Member

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    I have met a few friends from off the internet. All the people I have met have been normal guys like me...just chillin online lookin for some people to meet. But I totally agree with the past posts that you should meet in a public place just for the safety issue. But yeah...most people on the net are just normal people, I think the "internet creeps" the old men who get on to pick up young kids have givin' the internet a "scary" reputation. Not EVERYONE on the internet wants to rape you. :rolleyes:
     
  8. rob_just_rob

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    Other than people I've met on sites like lavalife (i.e. for the express purpose of dating), it's always been a train wreck for me.

    Nervousness is natural. Keep your expectations low, so you'll be pleasantly surprised if you're wrong.
     
  9. Mulebear

    Mulebear Member

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    I met my partner online. We are now in our 6th year together.

    By the way, we first met in person when he took a vacation and travelled across country to meet me. He stayed for a week and then returned home.

    Two months later he packed up his home and moved in with me. Six years later and we still like to cuddle on the couch together while watching a movie. We cook together, eat together, shower together, sleep together, play together, travel together, and have lots of great sex together. I love him dearly.
     
  10. dreamer20

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    I don't think what you have written is silly at all. I have enjoyed meeting the persons that I had previously known of from internet interaction in every case so far.
    You know about this man and from what you said things should turn out well blueorchid. Meet for lunch and chat. You could also bring a friend along for moral support, if you wish, for your initial encounter. I hope that everything turns out well for the two of you.
     
  11. blueorchid

    blueorchid New Member

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    Oh wow! so many replies.... :) I thank you all sincerely for your opinions, it's helping me to reason more and keep my nervousness low. To all those who told me to meet him in a public place, that's what I'm going to do. I suggested him he could come over in Toulouse and we can have dinner together, a drink later and then a walk in the city center. I prefer meeting here than in Bordeaux (a city I don't know much). I need to be confident.
    I think my fears come also from the fact that the only experience similar to this ended up him being a pervert. We didn't meet online but get to know on the phone because some common friends gave him my phone number. Well this is an old story and I should get past it :)
    Thanks again, also for having said that my question wasn't silly :p

    oooh Mulebear this is simply lovely!!! I wish you this awesome relationship will be lifelasting, it sounds so good makes me feel like living this myself too!!! :)
     
  12. Mulebear

    Mulebear Member

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    Thanks blueorchid. That was very kind of you.
     
  13. Latiszari

    Latiszari New Member

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    I have met several girls known online, and is never happened something of bad to me. If they weren't like i imagined, i let them go away, without to search the sex, otherwise... Also i have get involved whit someone, and we have lived beautifoul moments. So, my advertisement is to meet him, and... good luck! :)
     
  14. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    Just be sure you know he is who he says he is. A good way is to have more than one or two photos, and talk on the phone.

    If he is genuine then it sounds like you'd probably have a good time. Everyone feels nervous, but soon they're usually replaced with excitement, joy etc.

    Bonne chance.
     
  15. drumstyck

    drumstyck New Member

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    i've had some mixed outcomes from meeting people online

    the first person i ever met, i totally froze up & got real shy...it was a real platonic thing, but i was 15 or something, and i just suddenly didnt know what to say or anything...

    since then, there's been a ton of girls i've met online & about half panned out to meeting in real life...

    my worst experience was trying to force something that just wasnt there...i'd been talking to her online for a while, but never got too in-depth...she spent a weekend at my place, shared a bed but no sex...then the next time we met was when we took a vacation to florida together...not exactly the smartest move on my part, i admit...so we spent the week fighting & fucking...florida is nice, the sex was great, but the girl was just a total bitch...

    on the flipside, i've met some wonderful people, even just short-term...
    i actually like meeting girls online; not to sound shallow, but it helps you eliminate disasters much quicker, i think...i can look at a girl's myspace (or whatever) profile, and immediately see that our tastes in music/movies/tv/whatever are completely opposite, so there's no need to waste my time...or i can find the girl who loves the same bands i do, and who has the same philosophies i do, and i can see if something can work between us
     
  16. B_houugadunor

    B_houugadunor member

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    Hey Blue Orchid,

    You have your head screwed on, which is always a good thing! I met my current boyfriend online, we have been together for about 4 years, but before we met, I did talk to him on the phone for a while and really got to know him!

    I think if you meet somewhere where you can always talk about something (like people said, a restaurant etc) so the conversation will never dry up!

    The worst case scenario is that he's not your type and you dont bother taking it any further, the best case scenario, is you meet someone for life, like I did (awwww!)

    Have fun and play nice!!

    xxx
     
  17. OPPinSLC

    OPPinSLC Member

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    I have met a couple of people from online encounters. I agree with most of the others. A public place is a very good idea. Like any friendship it's best to go slow, don't give any clues as to where you live (land line phone number for instance, etc). Good luck!
     
  18. ruffboy

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    meeting new people is hard no matter what the venue, medium, anything. there will be akward moments, there will be failed expecations no matter if you met over the internet, on the street, through mutual friends, during a business exchange, walking in the park, etc... but without putting yourself out there, you'll never have the chance for all the fantastic things that can happen. its just a dichotomy, like everything else in life, but as long as you don't out-think yourself, psych yourself out about it, sounds like you could have a wonderful time

    good luck!
     
  19. F_Man

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    It's always good to use (your) common sense, and act according to your instict and gut feeling. Yet: no risks, no gain.

    I've met my closest companion online. I've built fruitful long-term friendships online (some still continue only as online contacts). I've had a some really great one-(two-three)-time only close encounters of a sexual kind. And I've had a few situations where the person live is so different of the image built online, that I've just smiled at the horror of (my) mistake.

    FM :wink:
     
  20. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    I've met at least 75 people in person that I knew first online. Very few of those were negative experiences. It's really no big deal.
     
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