Meeting guys on the DL

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Wyldwill420, Feb 18, 2011.

  1. Wyldwill420

    Wyldwill420 Member

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    Hi, Any advice?
    How does a guy go about meeting another guy who is on the DL.
    How does one ask if one is on the DL since they ARE on the DL?
    If we are all on the DL how do we open up to each other??
    Any advice is appreciated and hope to hear from other guys in San Diego too.
    Thanks, Will
     
  2. borntobeking

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    I've never done it but from what I have seen craigslist is probably one of the easier ways to find guys in a situation similar to yours. As always, be careful out there.
     
  3. D_CountdeGrandePinja

    D_CountdeGrandePinja Account Disabled

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    sorry to sound out of the loop - DL??
     
  4. borntobeking

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    On the Down Low. Men who engage in secretive same sex relationships.
     
  5. B_RoysToy

    B_RoysToy New Member

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    DL = down low. Many times on your knees. Oh, and mouth open wide, too.
     
  6. latinfreak

    latinfreak Member

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    go to an adult bookstore.....enuff said
     
  7. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    I think you've posed the problem with being on the DL in your post. Personally I don't feel it's an honest way of dealing with one's sexuality, although I realize some guys live in places where being open is forbidden. I live in LA so I'm not far from San Diego. There seem to be more military guys in your area so maybe that's why more are on the DL. Try posting an ad on a social networking site. All the best.
     
  8. Wyldwill420

    Wyldwill420 Member

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    Thank you BorntobeKing...I wish YOU were her in San Diego...
    Anyone In San Diego reading this lets chat too...
    Thanks guys...
     
  9. borntobeking

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    No problem. I visited San Diego on business last year. Hope to be able to get back out there.
     
  10. dude_007

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    dude, you are in San Diego, there are tons of hot guys there, DL or not. What is so special about DL guys anyway? Think about it. On the downlow basically means "I'm lying about who I am and am OK with keeping secrets from the people I claim to love." or "If I can lie about having sex with other men I can lie about having an STD or being a drug addict on the downlow or _______________"
     
  11. chrisb4sure

    chrisb4sure New Member

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    A lot of DL men are usually married and have families I would suggest finding single DL'S craigslist should do.
     
  12. zpacifico

    zpacifico New Member

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    I think that one should stay away from closet-cases untill they figure out what they want in their life.
     
  13. D_ro78tloij

    D_ro78tloij New Member

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    It amazes me how fast some people are to make judgments of another persons life style.
    And those making such comments should read about Stone Well. Not so long ago to practice homosexual acts in your home was cause for arrest and imprisonment. I know married gay couples that live a DL life style for reason of there own. There are many employers that would not hire you just because you are gay. Not everyone is in a position to come out.and it is not only married men that are DL. Not everyone that hangs out in tea rooms, or lurk in gym change rooms are DL.
     
    #13 D_ro78tloij, Feb 19, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2011
  14. killerb

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    Let's clarify. DL does not mean simply being discreet.

    Being on the DL means that a man is in a relationship with a woman and having sex with men outside of that relationship without her knowledge.
     
  15. Wyldwill420

    Wyldwill420 Member

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    thanks for all the comments ...Im not a wierdo or anything but yes... there is a need to meet guys of like mind etc and share some thoughts etc...being DL means i have something to lose I am not careful etc... If other guys there are bimm etc lets chat too.. OK
    Thank guys.
    I hope other San Diegans will still write..
    Later,
    Will
     
  16. shoparound

    shoparound Member

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    I always thought DL was just being discreet? That's I've been telling people anyways lol
     
  17. Gdaymate

    Gdaymate Member

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    I've been with guys on the dl before and though it was exciting at the time I'm not proud of it . There is something really unfortunate about the shame they clearly feel about the gay sex aspect of themselves. I am hypocritical---I have taken part , but it's not something I look back on with an easy feeling. I do think that by taking part I am helping to perpetuate the notion that a gay lifestyle is something to hide, rather than something to accept. The dl is a way some 'straight' people can do what they want and avoid judgement, but also avoid supporting gay marriage and enlightening their other straight friends about the positive aspectsof same sex relationships. This post has helped me see something about my own experiences in the dl world.
     
  18. zpacifico

    zpacifico New Member

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    hear hear:tongue:
     
  19. MsThang

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    Years ago a friend suspected that her friend's husband was on the DL. She caught him on public phones (way before cell phones were popular), wearing tight jeans and cowboy boots (he was black and it's just not a common thing if you live on the East coast and aren't a cowboy) and instead of hanging out in Brooklyn where he lived with his wife and newborn baby he was traipsing to Jersey. My friend worked in Jersey and saw him on the PATH train. I don't know if her suspicions were right but she knew that her friend's marriage was in trouble and she suspected he was gay. I think what surprises me is that I do believe there are signs and women just overlook them. I think it was obvious that this woman's husband was cheating on her but I never found out if it was with a woman or a man. Are their surefire signs that a man is on the DL?
     
    #19 MsThang, Feb 22, 2011
    Last edited: Feb 22, 2011
  20. hairyversmuscle

    hairyversmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Many internet sights can accomodate you. You should have no issue in SD

    One of the evening news shows did a story about men on the DL and frequently men on the DL are incredibly anonymous and frequently do not practice safe sex as they don't want to be caught buying stuff that they otherwise wouldn't need for their marriage. A lot of unsafe sex happens which then gets brought back to their wives. One of the stories focussed on a group of guys on the DL. One of whom had a baby who was born with some conditions, and it was uncovered then that the baby was born HIV Positive through the mother. Guess who else was, the father. He came clean about his life on the DL and told the guys he fucked around with, all of whom were married, all of whom were HIV Positive and didn't know it. So if that doesn't scare you to rethink life on the DL, please please please be safe.

    The author wrote something about losing something if he got caught. That is a rough place to be. I get it. What I think is worse is living a life that is dishonest to others and to yourself and I feel at that point is when you really lose something... yourself!
     
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