Hmmm..,
what do you mean by 'nice' gay men? It seems like most of the answers have been equating 'nice' with 'stable, employed, non-psycho', but that's just a perspective. I know guys who are heavy into some weird shit. The guy they want to be with isn't even on the bottom end of my 'nice' scale
So maybe tell a little about what you like and who you are, and that would allow other people to give you better ideas on where you might start upturning stones. For instance, if you are athletic, search for a gay team league anywhere nearby.
Absent specifics, here's some random ideas about looking for gay love:
- If you like clubbing, by all means go out, get your drink on, get your dance on, flirt and have fun. And be seen having fun. But go home alone. Otherwise, you are not going to find a real boyfriend. What you will find is that you have a reputation as a slut.
- If you are not 100% out, then turn in your beads and join Promiskeepers instead, because you are not serious. In this day and age, do you want to be with a confident and prideful man, or a scared and insecure man?
- Open your eyes. Seriously. There are gay men all around you all the time, and your gaydar is telling you so. You can meet gay men anywhere, even while standing in line at the deli. All you have to do is let them know you know (eye contact a fraction too long is pretty much a dead giveaway) and be willing to be the first to strike up a conversation or say hi. Now, this is a big dick website, and there's lots of questions here about how to handle being checked out in the showers, at the urinals, etc., so be judicious about where, exactly, you are making that eye contact. If you want a quick fuck, then lingering eye contact at the rest stop urinal is ok. If you want a boyfriend, that's not where you'll find him.
- If you have fear of rejection, figure out how to dump it now or to manage it. You will be rejected. Everyone is, and usually more often than they are accepted. I think my ratio was probably 25 to 1. But you know, my 1 has lasted 15 years, so I think the 24 not interested parties were an acceptable loss. And, frankly, some of them are still around and still single, so I'm not even sure who's loss it was.
- Finally, try to find fun and joy in your life right now, even if you're single. Why? well, first, there's no guarantee you will find someone right away that's worth being with, so no point in waiting for someone to complete you - right? And second, people are attracted to others who are happy and fun, so you'll be increasing your chances of attracting others of a similar bent. It's a total win-win.
I hope you continue to post about your pursuit of a relationship. I'm sure there are tons of people here who would benefit from you sharing how things are going.
Good Luck
PJ
