Meeting your SO's exes

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by redbear52, Nov 19, 2010.

  1. redbear52

    redbear52 New Member

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    What has been your reaction when you meet someone you know has had sex with your spouse or SO in a social setting?
     
  2. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    I met one of his ex's that he was with when we first met. My reaction was - I don't like you one bit and go away quickly. Obviously :) hehehe
     
  3. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    I didn't have a 'reaction'. It was just like meeting anyone else *shrug*
     
  4. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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    I've met a couple of Mr. Flames ex's, I didn't really react, I just treated them like any one else I have just met. My school of thought is that they're ex's for a reason.

    I didn't pull hair, I didn't throw any drinks and I didn't get in a catfight. I was very disappointed with myself.
     
  5. AlteredEgo

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    With past partners, I've been warm and friendly, until some other face was warranted (like when an ex tried to get in my way- hell no!) With my husband, it's different. He only has one ex. She and her lies, and the legal trouble that resulted are the reason my husband was completely sexually dysfunctional when I found him. If I meet that bitch I'm beating her ass. If she's lucky, she'll never cross my path. I feel violent just thinking about her.
     
  6. nudeyorker

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    Oh flame boy I too am very disappointed. I can picture this very clearly in my minds eye! flame boy and Krystle Ultimate Cat Fight
     
  7. flame boy

    flame boy Account Disabled

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  8. B_curiousme01

    B_curiousme01 New Member

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    :smile::smile::smile::smile::smile::smile::smile::smile::smile::smile: heh. I didn't really say anything. At all. I wanted to tho. She really hated me and tried to make me uncomfortable.
     
  9. petite

    petite New Member

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    I've only met one when we first started dating, and she looked like she deeply regretted that he wasn't with her. It was an unexpected encounter and they both looked stunned to be face to face. There was definitely a moment between them. I thought, "Yep, you lost out! He's mine now!"

    There's another woman that he's still friends with that he has a history with, a member of his close-knit group of college friends. She's gorgeous, sophisticated, exotic, well-traveled, funny, talented, as highly educated as it's possible to be, brilliant, and charming on top of it all. I genuinely like her and I can see why he did, too, but it doesn't hurt that she lives several thousand miles away and she's happily married now. :tongue:

    TheBoyfriend likes all of my ex-boyfriend that he's met and they like him, which is good because I have a tight knit group of friends and they like to throw a lot of parties that we enjoy attending (or used to, we attend far fewer now that we're so far away now), so avoiding ex-boyfriends is nearly impossible. One of mine even likes him better than he likes me because they share so many interests in common. He's a very charming guy and my friends adore him, even the ones I used to date. I love that moment when an ex-boyfriend meets him and realizes, "Yeah, I can see why you're with him. He's a good guy. And fun, too."

    He's only jealous of one ex-boyfriend and the reason is because he was my first love and I still hold him in high regard. He isn't concerned that I'll leave him. TheBoyfriend wants to be the most highly regarded by me, and he doesn't like any competition for the man whom I hold in highest respect. It probably helps a lot that we only talk about once a year to catch up with one another and he's also happily married.

    Ex-boyfriends have dropped by my dad's house during the holidays to visit, and TheBoyfriend has insisted that we go out and catch up while he goes off and does something else with other friends. He doesn't mind when I talk to them on the phone or on FaceBook, and I tell him everything about all of our conversations. I would feel like I was keeping secrets from him if I wasn't open about stuff like that, and that would make me feel guilty. TheBoyfriend makes being open about those conversations easy because he doesn't act intimidated or immature about it. He knows that he has me wrapped around his finger and he has nothing to worry about.

    I love the fact that he's not intimidated by other men and that he doesn't act petty or childish about the fact that I had a life before I met him. The closest that he's come to "reacting" is by acting like he's proud to be the one with me now, and I have no problem with that. :smile:
     
    #9 petite, Nov 19, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2010
  10. XSILVER

    XSILVER Well-Known Member

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    My BF is best friends with his Ex and talk every day. We go out and to each others houses quite often. Does not bother me one bit and i feel great that it doesent.
     
  11. petite

    petite New Member

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    :lmao: Funny to imagine!

    You've got too much class to act like that. :smile:

    Besides, if you did, it would just enhance the desirability and mystique of the person attacked. Can you imagine the juicy gossip? It's a win-win for the person that you feel jealous towards, and you're too clever for that.
     
    #11 petite, Nov 19, 2010
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2010
  12. littlepenis

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    I've never really thought about it much, except for when I met one of her ex's that I knew was packing down there. I kept thinking about them together and found myself rather aroused trying imagine what was hiding in his pants.
     
  13. nakedone

    nakedone New Member

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    I have met a few of the guys who fucked my wife before me, including her first husband. You may be surprised to learn that a sort of "bond" has been created between him and me. And it is basically because we have fucked the same woman, who just happens to now be my wife!

    When we meet at family gatherings, the others are surprised to see that there is no hostility between us, and that we stand and talk and seem so relaxed. What they don't know is that he and I have discussed fucking her at some length and have shared our own experiences with her. We even laughingly refer to her as "our pussy", which I feel is right since he has fucked her so many more times than I have.

    If you're asking "would I let him fuck her again, now?" the answer is YES!! I would love to share her pussy with him on a continuing basis.
     
  14. Bbucko

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    I've had a mixed assortment of rapports (wouldn't go so far as to say "relationships") with several of my ex's exes.

    In two cases, there were deceptions that those then-BFs were engaging in, about which I knew nothing at the beginning, but which became quickly apparent as the relationships rolled on. In both cases, these guys kept friendships with their exes going and, for their own reasons, they chose to be very frosty to me. One eventually warmed up, the other never did, though in neither case could either be called a friend of mine in any shape or fashion.

    In another instance, I met a guy (and fell in love with him) while he and his ex had evolved into platonic roommates. He was extremely cordial, and we remained quite close as long as he remained in Boston; in fact, when he eventually met someone new, we'd do dinner parties, etc, as a foursome (sex was never involved, just sociability).

    And just to round things out, at the beginnings of two additional relationships, I introduced them to my exes, though each were so insecure as to make any on-going continuing friendship pretty much impossible (to my great loss in each case).

    For the record, I cannot recall ever being anything but friendly and polite to anyone ever introduced as an ex, despite the occasional chilly reception, and I never indulged myself in any insecurities or temper tantrums over any continued communication between a BF and any one of his exes, tempting though it may have been on at least one occasion.
     
  15. Jillang

    Jillang Member

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    Good question.
    I get kind of jealous and curious. I only saw one of his exes but I didn't meet her. He thinks she's crazy anyway so It's not like they still talk. If they were together a lot though I'd be very jealous. I just get quiet but he could tell.
    I met an exes current gf....what a bitch. She hates me. She tries to act like she is so much better or something. She intimidates me. I get nervous around her. I just try to be on my best behavior. It's kind of funny.
     
  16. Countryguy63

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    Can I interest you in meeting my ex?? :biggrin1:
     
  17. petite

    petite New Member

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    If someone had treated TheBoyfriend that badly, I would feel the same way.

    I think being protective of the one that you love is natural and should be expected. I've been lucky that most of my ex-es were good people who were just not the best fit for me, and he doesn't have any bad ex-es at all.
     
  18. slate_australis

    slate_australis New Member

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    My BF and I regularly go out with my ex and sometimes with his current BF.

    I think if the relationship has actually gone through the evolution, it can work.
     
  19. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

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    Another of my favorite topics. As I've "matured"...at least I hope that's what it is...I've come to the discovery that I really like her exs. I think it's about finding something in them that is similar to me. So one of them has become a good buddy.
     
  20. haulthat

    haulthat Member

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    I love the way your thinking! I hope she does come across you one day if it would make you feel batter in the end cause you got to vent your pent up rage, I hope you don't if it would result in jail time or you feeling shitty anyways.

    makes me think of: YouTube - Hardcore girl fight!! (Emily vs. Elena)

    And i found this while looking for that, they slap like weak bitches but the guy in the blue I would tie up and enjoy for hours and days... YouTube - Intern John and Crisco Slap Off

     
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