Men and tears

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Gisella, Jan 2, 2007.

  1. Gisella

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    As I'm in a tears open flood today because some last year losses of known and unknow people all over the place...and greatfull is cold that my red nose may be mistaken for a cold and weather.

    How do you as a man deal with tears? When do you cry? By yourself, very seldom, a lot...what may cause you to sure cry? Its a dry cry or comes with lots of tears?


    Its a good healthy therapy to just let go when its full inside...let be all red face and empty it to the last drop, than we are going to feel better.
     
  2. Lex

    Lex
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    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    I cry. and I admit it.

    The first time I cried in front of a guy was when I said goodbye to my best friend on my way to college. We hugged in front of my house and balled.

    And then there was yesterday. I was at the airport, waiting to board my plane and thought about the wonderful guy I had just had the most amazing weekend and New Year's Eve with. And I cried.

    A little boy down from me was staring and he asked his mom and me why I was sad. And I said, sometimes when you travel and leave people you care about it makes you sad. And that I was a little sad and I would be okay.

    I actually felt a lot better after I talked to him.
     
  3. Male Bonding etc

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    Sometimes when I see other men letting go and crying, like Ford's son, today... Sometimes when kids do something wonderful and profound, and I feel proud of them or amazed at their abilities... When people step out of their manufactured roles and just do the right thing... and of course when I lose someone close to me. Typically, it's only a tear or two, and I do the strong-man-bearing-it kind of routine... I cried a lot when my wife died, but it wasn't in front of people.
     
  4. G4z

    G4z New Member

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    I cant seem to cry, and if i do its never a full on cry i just get a couple of tears roll down my face.. i use to beable to, i think it takes alot for me to cry now. It's quite worrying actually that i cant cry anymore.....
     
  5. Gisella

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    :hug: :hug: :hug:

    Thank you guys..hugs for each one of you and your sharing.


    And G4z..it maybe that your bucket inside is not full to spill...dont worry when its time it will come outside.
     
  6. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Some of us were so badly stunted by life that we can't cry. I was so badly abused by my family that I turned to stone. I showed no emotion of any kind until I was in my 20s. Then, I wound up in such physical agony that I cried for 3 years. The pain was horrible. Next, I learned to laugh. Trust me, this man can laugh loud and proud. I don't cry often but when I do, I make up for all the other times. Sheesh I am an ugly crier.
    My cousin died 4 days before Christmas. She was the last relative I had that really cared about me. I cried for days.
     
  7. SpeedoGuy

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    Haven't cried in 25+ years. Can't. Life showed me if I ever want to be taken seriously, then don't dare cry.
     
  8. D_Herin_Ghan

    D_Herin_Ghan Account Disabled

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    The last time I cried, I was sitting in the upper deck of Shea Stadium in 7th grade when the New York Yankees beat my beloved Mets in the world series. I bawled my eyes out.

    I may have dropped a tear when my parents split up, but it would've been out of frustration. I was never so angry in my life than I was at that time.
     
  9. dannymawg

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    I'm in this boat, although SG has some years on me.

    I've welled/choked up some over the years, but I can't remember the last time I was bawling/letting go. Even when my old man passed in 1998.

    Even though I know it will probably happen, I'm actually kind of afraid to, in the face of coming out soon - it's not going to be pretty after all these years...
     
  10. HazelGod

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    I hadn't cried in many years (although I did get a bit misty watching my wife walk down the aisle) until the holiday season last year (2005). My grandfather passed away in November, far from his home (thanks, Rita!), and his wife followed him in May.

    It was a tough six-month period for me and my family...and I think it was the first time my wife had actually seen me in tears.
     
  11. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

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    Well, it isn't peculiar to the USA, the english and germans seem to have a problem with it too. The Italians I have encountered seem to find it more acceptable. Maybe that's why they are such fierce warriors and famous lovers.
     
  12. Lex

    Lex
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    This makes me so sad. At the end of the day, I now knwo that I am a stronger man for expressing my emotions rather than swallowing them. I know this runs counter to the way young boys are socialized in America.

    We as men, IMO, have to learn how to express and emote and have to realize that having and expressing our feelings is not weakness, but rather strength.

    Swallowing your joy and pain is like watching a DVD on a HD-TV with the sound set to MONO. Don't do it, guys. You're missing a great deal of yourselves (and the strength and comfort you receive from others).

    Real Boys:[SIZE=-1]Rescuing Our Sons from the Myths of Boyhood[/SIZE] is a book that talks about how boys are asked to separate from their mothers at a much younger age than are girls and how they are taught that anger and rage are the only acceptable emotions to display. It's a must read for any man who wishes to be truly in touch with himself.
     
  13. schess24

    schess24 New Member

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    I have to admit, I love to cry, but not all the time don't get me wrong. Usually I tend to cry when I see things that make me feel sorry for that person or myself. Also, if I'm in a situation that I know I can't get myself out of, I bawl like a 2 year old.

    Like you said before, it's very good therapy to just let the tears flow!!
     
  14. OmahaBeef

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    I get choked up from inspiring things or events...

    Now and then I get that strange pain behind my eyes and in the bridge of my nose, but it usually doesn't go beyond that.

    When my best friend killed himself, and then just a few days later I broke up with my ex-gf of 5 years...I had every intention of crying, but it was more like I couldn't breathe. I literally couldn't take in air and just gently moaned for days.

    Seeing people die isn't the hard part...its seeing the PAIN that their loved ones are in that nearly puts me over the edge.

    ...OB
     
  15. koval

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    The last time I cried was 3 years ago when my brother passed away suddenly leaving behind a wonderfull wife and young son. I haven't cried fully since but I do shed a tear now and then when I think of my bro.

    "Remember to love your friends and family as you never know what tomorrow might bring"
     
  16. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    I used to cry all the time. Now... not so much. It's not that I'm afraid to or that I think it makes me a pussy if I do, it's only that few things make me feel upset enough anymore to cry about it. But crying does make me feel better.
     
  17. DiegoID

    DiegoID New Member

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    All these tough guys are putting me to shame. I cry easily. I mean ridiculusly easy. My partner has "caught" me getting all teary eyed during diamond commercials , I will go into full fledged crying for a really good movie. (Requiem for a Dream made me totally loose it by the end.)

    I cry when I have to say goodbye to friends, I cry when my vacations over and I'm on the plane headed home. I cry when I feel shitty and depressed.

    Sometimes I'll cry a single tear, but if I'm really emotional I can turn into a total emotional wreck. Runny nose, sobbing, lots of tears. I haven't had a real cry in a while (I don't count the sympathy tears really. It's just me getting caught up in the moment).

    I guess I'm just a sensitive soul, and I'm not afraid to share it. Crying for me usually helps me through whatever i'm going through, and afterwords I 'm much more receptive to logical clear headed thoughts.
     
  18. clear

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    Wow…

    Yet another wonderful thread I can only come to expect from LPSG members, and nowhere else. Now to share my two cents with the group…

    For me crying or being reduced to tears are both periodic occurrences with me. On average I would say between four and six times a year. Most often it is because I have witnessed the truly sublime (or some other extreme of the human condition; positive and or negative). However 2006 for me was probably one of the most emotional years I have endured in a very long while. I lost two of my first cousins only months apart from each other. Broke up with the man I considered to be the Love of my life and watched an entire community sink into debauchery before my eyes. And yet, in spite of it all, I still managed to push on ahead and strive further then any other time of my life. Which brings me to the last time I balled like a baby…lol.

    In November of last year, after spending the latter part of October working like crazy and then receiving news of the passing of another cousin, I finally managed to find sometime alone with myself; to think and reflect. I was alone in my apartment worshipping and Thanking God in prayer (as I do from time to time) when I just began to cry like a baby. I believe it was at the moment I realized just how far I had come in life and just how blessed I really was to be given such favour with many along the way. I think in that moment I saw no reason as to why I, out of all those who started out with me, I made it to this place I now find myself. To know that in spite of the depths of poverty and hardship I grew up in and lived through, I would one day be able to travel the world freely and as I saw fit. To know that my life meant something not only to me but to so many other people… to realize that I had been given another chance at life when those I Loved and cared about were taken away, truly humbled me. And in that moment of actualization I wept. I wept like a baby crying for its mom because I knew deep within myself; that in spite of everything, I was going to be alright. I knew that the secret desires of my heart were being fulfilled and that I had nothing to worry about. And in those tears I found peace again. Peace from everything that sought to rob me of my joy.

    So to reiterate what Gisella alluded to in the initial post, which started this thread; crying does make for good therapy. And to go further I think it is absolutely essential for all those seeking to live a well balanced life. For more often then not we are only concerned with the relentless exercise of our bodies or learning of our minds to devote any significant or meaningful time into our emotional selves. Yet this, above most all other human components, is most crucial and essential to being a human being after all. For how else can a man truly know he is alive, if he is first not made to feel?

    Respectfully: my two cents…:cool:

    T.D.

    [FONT=&quot]Ciao-[/FONT]
     
  19. RoyalT

    RoyalT New Member

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    No one makes me cry. I haven't cried for a long time now. I reasoned that if I can't cry when loved ones die (I assume something's wrong with me) that I won't cry for anything else. So I haven't. Sometimes my eyes fill up but no tears and I certainly don't bawl. I usually just sit and get depressed, sometimes write my feelings down. Often I'm kept awake at night but not thinking about sad things...just ALL THINGS.
     
  20. Gisella

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    :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: and much more!

    Thank you very much for sharing guys!


    I just cried more after talking to my Dad in Brasil and for my surprise my Mom told me he told her was expecting my call...because when Pres.Reagan had the same cerimony Pres.Ford had today I call him we cry and shared. I have the most wonderful relationship with my Dad since very tiny baby.

    And when a President died and all this military cerimony and friends and stuff talking about a life of a wonderful man I remember my wonderful militar and every cool quality in a good decent man too: my Dad. And everything I have to say to him, everything while he is alive and well, about life, death, dreams and etc.

    Kisses and thank you again!

    :heart:
     
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