Men are studs, women are sluts?

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by bigschlotsky, May 12, 2006.

  1. bigschlotsky

    bigschlotsky New Member

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    One of the greatest things about this forum is we have women who are open to expressing lust. A recent thread got me thinking how in our culture if a man has lots of casual sex he's a stud, but if a women likes to have casual sex she's a slut. I think that's pretty bogus, and I'd be eager to hear what the liberated women here think (and the liberates bros too, of course).
     
  2. Mr. Snakey

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    :smile: smarter
     
  3. tiff86

    tiff86 New Member

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    I think the way I am I'd only have sex with someone I'm in a relationship with, but I guess there's nothing wrong if a girl wants to do it. Guys do, why not girls?
     
  4. Ethyl

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    An outdated concept at the very least. Liberated women are smart enough to ignore men who believe and promote this ridiculous crap. That's why it's not so popular anymore.

    And the times, they are-a-changin'. There are plenty of men who want women who are more sexually experienced and adventurous, respect them and think they're the cat's meow. My ex once told me about a FFM he had and asked if I had ever been involved with a threesome (assuming it was an FFM). When I explained it was with two men, he was really impressed. I expected him to be intimidated and snarky because that was the usual reaction from other men. For a long time, I didn't tell other men about that experience because I grew tired of the double standard attitude with threesomes and sex, in general. I'm not ashamed; it was erotic and sensual, something I didn't expect. It's probably not something i'll ever do again, but i'm happy I had the opportunity to explore that part of myself at the time.

    The words of Eleanor Roosevelt come to mind: "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent".
     
  5. ChuckRich

    ChuckRich New Member

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    That's not the way I've seen it a lot of the time.

    A guy has a lot of casual sex, other guys think he's THE MAN but girls consider him a dog or a man-whore.

    A girl sleeps around, guys probably think of her as a "party girl" but probably don't really respect her. While on the other hand it's the other girls who'll think of her as just a slut.

    It's always seemed to me that a lot of women have a tendency to be jealous and antagonistic towards each other as if they're in competition, when guys generally pat each other on the back like we're all scoring for the same team.
     
  6. steve2727

    steve2727 Member

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    I think it depends where you live. In a modern comsopolitan city like Manchester I don't see this double standard much, I've been called a slut in the past (with justification, after enough beer I was anybody's back then). But I'm sure in other parts of the world it's still very much the case.

    And ChuckRich is right, it's only ever other guys who give a guy respect for sleeping around, not women.
     
  7. Honey_Grrrl83

    Honey_Grrrl83 New Member

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    Double standards suck:tongue: I believe that if a young,single female wants to go out and have fun then she should be able to do it:smile: I would never do that but I would NEVER judge a woman who does:biggrin1:
     
  8. Ethyl

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    That's true. Those men are scoring for their team--and their team only. My experience is that many men often encourage this antagonistic behavior between women. We aren't encouraged to support each other, as men are, but to compete with each other.
     
  9. bigschlotsky

    bigschlotsky New Member

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    I agree with much of what you say on the subject, but the portion above bugs me. I think women are at least as responsible for this "rediculous crap" as men are. Personally, if a woman wants to go out and have fun, i.e. casual sex, I think it's her choice, I don't look down on her, and I think it can be really empowering for a woman. Of course some men have stupid ideas that a woman who has sex for the pleasure is a slut. But I think some (maybe more) women perpetuate that idea. I don't think it's fair to blame it on men.
     
  10. Ethyl

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    You're also right, schlotsky. Notice I said "liberated" women won't put up with those attitudes. The not-so-liberated ones perpetuate the problem by accepting the double standard. When they accept the standard, that's when they feel pressured to compete with each other and begin vying for attention from the men who promote the double standard. Sick, huh? It happens.

    I'm not trying to overgeneralize. Most men I know don't believe that men who engage in casual sex are studs and women who do are sluts. I mentioned the exchange between my ex and I because it was an unusual response from another (straight) man about threesomes. Ask most straight men about threesomes and they'll tell you they think they're great as long as it's the "right" kind (meaning FFM). Why do most straight men shun MMF threesomes? Because there's more than one dick in the room and they can't handle it. I think that's why the other men felt intimidated when I related my experience to them, but if you have a better explanation, i'd be happy to hear it. If a man can be sexually worshipped by two women, why can't a woman experience the same in reverse?
     
  11. bigschlotsky

    bigschlotsky New Member

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    Well, I might be the wrong person to ask because I have never seen the appeal of group sex, including 3-somes. I think hot, sweaty, lustful 1-on-1 sex is about the most perfect thing in the world. It's all about getting totally focused on the other person and the pleasure. But yeah, I think you're right about why men might be threatened by the idea. The idea of being naked with another naked guy is a little uncomfortable.
    As for the issue of studs and sluts, perhaps overlooked in all this is that just like it stupid to see women as sluts if they have casual sex, it's just as dumb to see guys as studs for doing it. And I speak as someone who has had more than my share of casual sex. I love sex, I love women, and I seem to be pretty good at the whole casual sex thing. But to think it makes me a cooler person in some way is as dumb as thinking the women I've been with are lesser because of it. Hey, I know some dumbasses who get plenty of action. Getting laid does not make you a stud. It can make you content, thrilled, a few other things, yes. But not a stud.
     
  12. B_IanTheTall

    B_IanTheTall New Member

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    Does that mean that the guys that get fucked by studs are the so called he-sluts? I guess that mean that A promiscuous straight guy can only become a stud, while a gay guy could be either a stud or a he-slut. But, can a gay guy go from stud to he-slut, if his mood changes for a longer period of time? What if a he-slut changes his mood, can he become stud (again) when he changes back to being dominant? Once a (he-)slut always a (he-)slut?

    Confused yet? :confused: Don't worry, you'll get used to it. :wink:
     
  13. B_IanTheTall

    B_IanTheTall New Member

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    FEW!!! Until the end of your post I thought you were saying that FMF is wrong, though I have never been into being "worshipped" I like to be more involved in the sex than that, I'm not an alter, I'm a red blooded man and I love sex. (I know what couches are for, fucking on, napping on, sleeping on and if you must sitting too.)

    OK, I understand why two straight guys would have issues with MMF, but why would MFM be an issue? After all, the guys aren't having sex with each other, they're having sex with her. Thus, balls bouncing together during a sandwich DP, the upper guy's ass getting in the lower guy's face during a double doggy DP, "friendly fire" related issues, and (though I have no concept of how I could ever find a willing female for either) dicks rubbing against each other during DVP or DAP aren't such big issues. Maybe that's the real point, most straight guys are too competitive or insecure to deal with the other guy having a larger than standard issue or at least a bigger issue than his own. Plus, if s straight guy is aware of the other guys cock, is he paying her enough attention?

    MF = a straight couple
    MM = a gay couple
    FF = a lesbian couple
    MFM = two men pleasing a woman
    FMF = two women pleasing a man
    MMF = gay/bi man pleasing a bi man pleasing a woman
    FFM = lesbian/bo woman pleasing a bi woman pleasing a man
    MF MF = two straight couples having sex near each other

    ... damn paper is 2-dimensional, but electronic text is worse, it's not only 2-dimesional it's also LINEAR

    imagine the MFing variants of these compose:
    three straight guys pleasing a single woman
    three straight women pleasing a single man
    – there is a high "risk" that one of the three is bi
     
  14. Ethyl

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    Wait . . . I thought ALL gay men were studs!:tongue:
     
  15. Ethyl

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    What do you know, I learned something today! I wasn't aware there were variants of the aforementioned acronyms and that the particular order of each acronym had different meanings (I wasn't well informed before I had my MFM!). I understand the issue with any threesome involving one woman and two men is usually about the possibility that one man might touch the other. There's a "6-inch" rule, or so i've been told. You're right on about the activity in an MFM. They were both interested in making me the center of attention and could have cared less about each other, so touching each other or seeing the other's cock weren't issues for them.

    Thank you for today's lesson, Instructor Ian. Much obliged :wink:
     
  16. curious n str8

    curious n str8 New Member

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    :naughty: :clap: :You_Rock_Emoticon:
     
  17. modernluv

    modernluv New Member

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    I just dismiss it when people think sex is dirty or you have to be in a serious, longterm, monogamous relationship to do it. I’m really in no hurry to get into a serious relationship (I think I have intimacy issues :rolleyes: , ha ha). But I like guys and I like sex, and I like to have a good time. When I think of the word "slut" I think of a girl who has no standards and jumps into bed with any guy who comes along as says she looks nice. I’m very discriminating. But I'm also no stranger to what people might call casual sex. If I’m at a party or a bar and I’m attracted to a guy and we’ve got a spark, I like to have a good time as much as guys do. I'm not looking for a "relationship" right now but that doesn't mean I can't have a good time. If people want to look down on that oh well.
     
  18. Lordpendragon

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    Isn't MFM a radio station?

    I have been promiscuous. If you wnated to judge me (though it's none of your f***lng business) you could call me a slut.

    There's only one person whom I'm interested in thinking of me as a stud, and whilst she may like other people thinking she's beautiful, I think she only wants me to know that she's a sex goddess.
     
  19. thirdlegmeat

    thirdlegmeat Member

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    I didn't read every post, but here's my two cents, since I doubt it's been said yet.

    Women can be sluts, while men cannot. The term, "male slut," is an oxymoron (spelling?). Anyway, the reason is simple, and it's not because of society, and has nothing to do with feminism, which has been a complete failure BTW, or "liberation."

    A sexual encounter for a man is always a "conquest." This is because it is usually difficult for a man to convince a woman to sleep with him. It is therefore usually considered an accomplishment. Moreover, since it is somewhat difficult, a man is limited to his sexual encounters, and his appetite is usually greater than the sex obtained.

    A woman, on the other hand, is a COMPLETELY different story. There is no accomplishment or "conquest" for a woman if she seduces a man into sleeping with her. Even if she's fairly unattractive, a woman can almost always find a man who will accompany her. Therefore, a woman's number of sexual encounters has NO limit. It is only limited to her own self restraint. A woman without such restraint is deemed, "slut."

    Now that I've cut through the BS, the bigger question is, "Are sluts bad"? Here I may surprise you. I think that although women can be, and many women are, "sluts," "sluts" are not bad nor should be viewed negatively. I personally like "sluts." I use it as a term of endearment as opposed to degeneration.
     
  20. AMikkell

    AMikkell New Member

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    I was about to say what thirdlegmeat did. It does work in reverse though. If a man is attractive enough, and a plethora of women start wanting to have sex with him and it stops being a challenge, then, if he remains promiscuous, he will start to move into the slut territory.
     
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