Men are studs, women are sluts?

[Lordpendragon]

I like women and I like having sex with them. It's absolutley nothing about conquest. I am sure that women can tell if your mind is thinking conquest and this is probably why you have had trouble getting women to have unconditional sex with you.

You need to get your head beyond silly tags/labels.

 

[AMikkell]

I agree with you Lord Pendragon, I was merely putting forth a theory as to why this could be. To me some one who has lots of sex is... someone who has lots of sex. In my mind, stud is a term for a male who is attractive, much as there are many terms for attractive women, and slut is a term for anyone who is promiscuous and has the wrong attitude about sex.

 

[Lordpendragon]

I agree with you Lord Pendragon, I was merely putting forth a theory as to why this could be. To me some one who has lots of sex is... someone who has lots of sex. In my mind, stud is a term for a male who is attractive, much as there are many terms for attractive women, and slut is a term for anyone who is promiscuous and has the wrong attitude about sex.

You can't sit in judgment as to what is the right and wrong attitude towards sex.

A stud is a man who gives, and/or lets a woman take, what she wants.

 

[lisa_2662]

I think people need to realize the difference between a slut and a whore. I'm a slut. I love sex, and I've done it with lots of guys, because I love it. I like sex, but I'm not a whore. A whore fucks a guy to get something out of him, and that sucks. But screwing a guy because you want to isn't a bad thing. I know plenty of guys that are total sluts. Slut isn't just a term for women.

 

[D_Elijah_MorganWood]

I think the whole slut/stud thing got started because many men can't stand the idea that someone got "in there" first who fucked better than they can and have a fear of not being able to "measure up". The idea is to be the ultimate stud because the starry-eyed little lady didn't know any better. Fast-forward to 2006, I hear men being called sluts and whores nearly as often as women. We still have a long way to go but there's hope. One positive thing is the word SLUT being worn as a badge of honor. I've been called a slut and a whore in many different situations and sometimes, both were true.

 

[thirdlegmeat]

Lisa was pretty much right.

And I stand behind what I said. As far as using the term, "conquest," who cares? Are we going to argue semantics? Let's say, "accomplishment." Does that make people feel better? The truth behind what I said isn't altered.

"When you can't argue logic, you argue emotion."

 

[Ethyl]

A sexual encounter for a man is always a "conquest." This is because it is usually difficult for a man to convince a woman to sleep with him. It is therefore usually considered an accomplishment. Moreover, since it is somewhat difficult, a man is limited to his sexual encounters, and his appetite is usually greater than the sex obtained.

I've known men who could get laid any day of the week; by your logic they can't be called conquests. What do you call them?

 

[nick22ca]

What about sluttiness being universally defined (ie. for both men and women) by the proportion of your thought processes that are devoted to sex? Seems like a more valid definition...can't get much more dispositional than that. Of course I'm sure a lot of people see no problem in thinking about sex a lot. Maybe those people can meet some people from the Darfur, and take a guess at what they're thinking about.

 

[Lordpendragon]

Lisa was pretty much right.

And I stand behind what I said. As far as using the term, "conquest," who cares? Are we going to argue semantics? Let's say, "accomplishment." Does that make people feel better? The truth behind what I said isn't altered.

"When you can't argue logic, you argue emotion."

This is your own reality, not a universal truth.

 

[Gisella]

This double standard is very "devastating" when people are teenagers...because as adults who cares?

I still havent find a man that make me desire him so much that i have to have him right there...plus i dont find the slut studs apealing too, there is something with man that goes around to much that i dont like at all. I like man that are selective...

 

[Lordpendragon]

I think that when you are a kid you are still supposed to live by other peoples values - so you get judged if you sleep around. The issue is about being indiscriminate - I wouldn't sleep with someone if I didn't like them. Believe me this really pisses off that type of woman who thinks she can flirt with men and play them - they get a complete blank from me and they don't like it. But if I like them why shouldn't we see if that translates to some good sex - we all like good sex?

 

[lapdog2001]

I'm not trying to be 'PC' but I've used the term 'sexually experienced' when refering to someone who has had lots of partners. My first (sexual) girlfriend had about 30 guys before me by the time she was 25, as I found out later in talking with her. She had 3 multi-year relationships, but when she was single, she went after what she wanted and had no regrets. If she was a guy, other guys may say she was a player, or a stud, or whatever. I appreciated her 'experience' as she was a great teacher for me. Our relationship is long over, but she still says I was one of her best lovers ever, and her 'count' is much higher now.:wink:
I've told her that I had a great teacher, and that's the truth.

 

[thirdlegmeat]

It is true that a good-looking and/or successful guy does have an easier time getting laid than an average/ugly, less successful guy. However an attractive man still doesn't have anything near the opportunities as an attractive, or for that matter even average, woman.

Even guys who are at the top of their game must work a lot harder to get laid than even a modest-looking woman. Human nature. Hence, the "opportunity" arguement I posed for what makes a "slut" exclusively female still stands.

 

[yongdo]

the myth that men and women can be the same is just that. a myth.

women have alot more at stake when they have sex then men do

greater chance of sexual disease and having to give birth are huge factors.

Even the act is vastly different: being penetrated vs penetrating.

Finally let's not forget that men are generally the persuers where women are persued. (how much more often in society do men look at women than the reverse?)

If you believe we have evolved from apes you'll know that female chimps go into estrus where they are receptive. The male chimp must be always ready for sex when that time happens.

Kinda like how guys have to be...

 

[Doc]

I've known men who could get laid any day of the week; by your logic they can't be called conquests. What do you call them?

Did you ask them if they thought they 'conquered' those women. I think you will find that even with the men that have the ability to sleep with any women they choose, the very rare men at that, if asked most will still admit they have to work to sleep with these women. There are alway obstacles for men. Some of us get good at getting around them, and some of us don't. This is perhaps why we pat each other on the back. Either to say, good job, or better luck next time, women don't make it that easy. And even though I don't want to get into the semantics of slut, whore, male slut, stud, whatever. There is alot of sense in what Thirdleg is saying.

 

[Ethyl]

If you believe we have evolved from apes you'll know that female chimps go into estrus where they are receptive. The male chimp must be always ready for sex when that time happens.

Kinda like how guys have to be...

If we're going to go the National Geographic route on this discussion, remember this: the female black widow spider always consumes the male after mating.

 

[Ethyl]

Did you ask them if they thought they 'conquered' those women. I think you will find that even with the men that have the ability to sleep with any women they choose, the very rare men at that, if asked most will still admit they have to work to sleep with these women. There are alway obstacles for men. Some of us get good at getting around them, and some of us don't. This is perhaps why we pat each other on the back. Either to say, good job, or better luck next time, women don't make it that easy. And even though I don't want to get into the semantics of slut, whore, male slut, stud, whatever. There is alot of sense in what Thirdleg is saying.

I've pursued and "conquered" a few men in my time. According to thirdleg, it's all in my imagination. There are always obstacles for women, too. If a man prefers a woman with larger breasts or longer legs, the woman with smaller breasts or shorter legs will have a harder time enticing that fellow to have sex with her. Or if the guy is shy. Or overconfident about his options. If it's so hard for a guy to bed women, why do you see guys dating women 20-30 years younger everywhere? Why do most men on internet dating sites look for younger women? Because they think they can date them and often do. Hardly a conquest.

This is a bullshit argument. Give us something better to work with, please.

 

[Gisella]

I dont know if i'm ignorant or because come from a different culture BUT this notion that most men do not have a lot of sex and are just lucky is very foreigner for me!!!

Here in the USA i heard first time men talking about that expression "get lucky"...

I heard men talk about this American "date" game...this dating rules here makes no sense to me.... I do not go by those rules and when talking to male friends they sound bitter because seems that for them woman are not to be trust because they are always cheating on them...& where i come from seems is the opposite....:tongue: for this motive we learn early to not fall for males talking seduction and 1/2 or full lies to get us to bed....:tongue: we charm and seduce each other and to the majority if you give to easy you are easy and people get bored (man and woman!)

In my mind as a woman the majority of woman whereever she comes from can play games like men BUT most of them will get burned because - i still have to find one who one time or another do not get her heart involved and they say are having just fun with sex ...of course there are exceptions...but there is a time that she does not want just play like boys anymore. But i think there are so much exageration in what man said and what really happens that who knows really what is a "boy game, boys always will be boys?"...now i become confuse of what i see in my culture and what i see here... :thinking:

I was thought to not trust in men (by my own male relatives)...they will try whatever to just have you in bed. Males in my family were thought to protect their daughters, sisters, cousins and etc...i could go out everywhere with them and was allowed to go by myself after was 18 because then i had my drivers license.

I see this slut horny behaviour as a fase in life in both sexes. Dont know how many sexual partners the majority of Americans said they have in life..i think read somewhere the majority of women "said" they had 3 or 4 ???

PS:I wrote a lot but is to just to give a little picture of where im coming from.

 

[Lordpendragon]

There is clearly a cultural divide so we can't generalise beyond our own experience.

It seems to me that some of you guys have the experience of women treating sex like some favor - so I agree with Gisella that this doesn't make sense to me either about getting lucky - maybe when you are really young.

I imagine the average European woman will have had at least double the number of sexual partners as their US sisters. My own experience is very similar to that of Lapdog's ex - though I see no reason why you can't be a stud if you have only had one partner - to me its about performance not numbers. As for being a slut, in my mind it works equally well for men.

We also have the term Sex Godess - no judgment involved there.

 

[Doc]

I've pursued and "conquered" a few men in my time. According to thirdleg, it's all in my imagination. There are always obstacles for women, too. If a man prefers a woman with larger breasts or longer legs, the woman with smaller breasts or shorter legs will have a harder time enticing that fellow to have sex with her. Or if the guy is shy. Or overconfident about his options. If it's so hard for a guy to bed women, why do you see guys dating women 20-30 years younger everywhere? Why do most men on internet dating sites look for younger women? Because they think they can date them and often do. Hardly a conquest.

This is a bullshit argument. Give us something better to work with, please.

Firstly, people here are just throwing thoughts around, so there is no reason to get ruffled about anything if you have chip on your shoulder leave it there.

Secondly, I was just supporting one point of thirdlegs argument since I genuinely saw merit in it concerning the social context in the area I live in. You can take that as you so choose. As for men and women finding each other on the net? Everyone always goes for what they want first, if they don't get it they move on to option number 2, 3, etc..... Older men seem to prefer young chicks, young girls seem to prefer older men. I clearly remember that from highschool. How does this exactly relate to conquest?