Men Dealing with All the Sexual Problems That Come with Age

BigDixRule

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So, like the title says, and if you aren't ashamed to talk about it amongst other men here, do you deal with any decrease in sexual anything as you get older? I'm only 40 and deal with a number of health issues and, unfortunately, I deal with ED, decrease in sexual appetite, and looking at porn nowadays feels like a boring chore. I still have desire and that's all I really want is the desire to be with someone, but with a penis that may or may not get fully hard and not even being aroused enough to ejaculate, being with another seems impossible.

I've tried Viagra once and was brave enough to ask my doctor for it. A lot of people think it's a pill that magically makes your dick hard. No, it is supposed to promote blood flow to the penis, but getting 100% hard may not happen. When I did take it, I was fortunate that it worked for me. Some days I noticed I was popping boners that lasted longer than ten minutes and I was able to masturbate and not lose it. But I wasn't getting hard daily as I took my single doses for those ten days.

Masturbation has also become something that I don't really do unless I'm really horny. Sometimes I find myself sitting there jerking with lube trying patiently to get hard and it's a total turn off and I'm like, never mind. And I close the browser. I look at guys who can cum healthy looking thick pools of cum and I can only produce a few squirts. I've always been like that as far as I can remember. And as I mentioned in another thread, I was never really one to ejaculate with stimulation like a blowjob. Jerking off is my way to ejaculate. I've been with a guy before who always wanted me to cum on his face and it just didn't happen. I didn't know if I should be embarrassed for him or for me. I'm the youngest in my family and I've reached the age where these kinda things are now affecting me and I can't believe the time that has passed. It's also not predominately an older person thing. Younger men can have problems like ED and loss of desire, so I've read.

How do you deal with it?
 

paget54

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I'll be 70yo next year so, yes, I'm dealing with aging issues. I get up twice a night to pee. My dick needs a lot of foreplay to get an erection. I still have a very high libido and desire to have sex. My wife, a year younger, is long past menopause and I think PIV sex for her has become very uncomfortable. So, our sex play has evolved to handjobs and blowjobs for me and fingering and clit play for her.

I now use a cock ring regularly whenever we have sex (oral, handjob, or the rare PIV). The ring produces great results for me, almost as good as when I was in my 20s and 30s. My wife seemed a bit put-off when I used the ring the first time but she realizes that it results in a really hard cock when she seems to enjoy.

At my annual physical in August, I discussed my increasing weaker erections. He assured me that this was completely normal for my age even though I'm fit and at a good weight. We talked about ED meds and he was agreeable to prescribe some for me. However, I told him I was using a cock ring regularly and like the spontaneity of them. I don't have to schedule sex, ensure that I've dosed-up with a pill, etc. If we're playing, I can just put it on. So, I declined the prescription.

You might find that being with the right someone resolves your problem.

Good luck
 

BigDixRule

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You might find that being with the right someone resolves your problem.

Good luck
I think you are absolutely right. I was with one guy who really did it for me and sex, masturbation, everything was a sensation to remember. I'm the kind of person that doesn't go from person to person to be intimate. I prefer being with a companion rather than a new person. I believe that is part of my problem. Thanks for responding. :)
 

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I will be 87 in 3 weeks. My libido is very high as is my testosterone. I have minor problems getting erect. My urologist says it is because I have had 2 TURP procedures. Thos has also affected my semen volume. I am quote active sexually
 

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I'll be 39 in about a week...the only lessening of libido I've experienced since teenage yrs, existed in direct proportion to my lack of physical activity...once I started working out again, or had a job that was physical in nature, I was horny like an 18yr old all over again...
You have to keep that testosterone flowing if you expect your dick to keep up with you past 35.
 

BelchersSpatula

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Well I'm 65 now and my only 2 issues are my refractory period is now 3-4 days instead of a few hours.
And the amount of cum I shoot is seriously smaller than when I was younger. Other than that I still get horny as hell and love sex, masturbating and assplay.
 

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65, and it all seems to as good as it ever was.
Allways been active physically, allways been a (at least once daily) masturbator.
Mostly eat homecooked food, hate mcD KFC etc, ant fast food
Was a binge drinker and smoker, stopped smoking 4 yrs ago. Best move ever for my health, and boozing way down as well.
Maybe keeping fit, eating reasonably healthy, moderate boozing, make time to masturbate, my wive is 20yrs younger and loves sex.
Maybe it all adds up to keeping the cock working
The quality of your erections is a fairly good indication of overall health.
 

accidenttourist

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So, like the title says, and if you aren't ashamed to talk about it amongst other men here, do you deal with any decrease in sexual anything as you get older? I'm only 40 and deal with a number of health issues and, unfortunately, I deal with ED, decrease in sexual appetite, and looking at porn nowadays feels like a boring chore. I still have desire and that's all I really want is the desire to be with someone, but with a penis that may or may not get fully hard and not even being aroused enough to ejaculate, being with another seems impossible.

I've tried Viagra once and was brave enough to ask my doctor for it. A lot of people think it's a pill that magically makes your dick hard. No, it is supposed to promote blood flow to the penis, but getting 100% hard may not happen. When I did take it, I was fortunate that it worked for me. Some days I noticed I was popping boners that lasted longer than ten minutes and I was able to masturbate and not lose it. But I wasn't getting hard daily as I took my single doses for those ten days.

Masturbation has also become something that I don't really do unless I'm really horny. Sometimes I find myself sitting there jerking with lube trying patiently to get hard and it's a total turn off and I'm like, never mind. And I close the browser. I look at guys who can cum healthy looking thick pools of cum and I can only produce a few squirts. I've always been like that as far as I can remember. And as I mentioned in another thread, I was never really one to ejaculate with stimulation like a blowjob. Jerking off is my way to ejaculate. I've been with a guy before who always wanted me to cum on his face and it just didn't happen. I didn't know if I should be embarrassed for him or for me. I'm the youngest in my family and I've reached the age where these kinda things are now affecting me and I can't believe the time that has passed. It's also not predominately an older person thing. Younger men can have problems like ED and loss of desire, so I've read.

How do you deal with it?
Wow, thanks for your candid exposé that enables this discussion!
Porns (the guys who cum healthy looking thick pools of cum) are doing more harm than good to the sexual health of most people. And the urge to brag about one's sexual prowess doesn't help either (you only have braggers replying to you)
Medical literatures document that most men start experiencing decreasing libido from 35-40 onwards at different speeds, with some beginning to experience unpredictable episodes of ED.
The unpredictable aspect in turn aggravates the ED because nothing is worse than not being sure that you can "perform" with your partner in bed... but that's part of life.

Some more pragmatic, personal advice: @BigDixRule
I still have desire and that's all I really want is the desire to be with someone, but with a penis that may or may not get fully hard and not even being aroused enough to ejaculate, being with another seems impossible.
Congrats for being brave enough to ask your doctor for Viagra, but ask for Cialis (tadalafil) instead.
When you're on Viagra you're basically on the clock for your "performance" because it only has a window of action +/- 3 hours. With Cialis you have a whole day - that makes a hell of a difference when you're a on a date, and you don't have to worry whether your Viagra is wearing out.
In addition I get the impression you're like me. Even when I was young, I wasn't particularly interested in one night stands / no future encounters. I need personal attachment to my partner in bed before I feel really the need for sex. And that applies equally to the cum volume (which seems to be another focus of yours) - my cum volume is directly related to the extent my partner in bed excites me. And that excitement only happens when we know each other at least relatively well.

So my advice - get the Cialis and go on dates with someone you can grow intimacy on. In your post, it is not clear whether you're partnered - or at least have regular "friends with benefits". I recently made good friend with a FWB that we came in bed twice, together... and that was just great! :p
(For full disclosure, yes, I was on "performance enhancement")
 

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The Urochannel on YouTube has much to offer in information about growing older. The urologist/sex therapist is from Germany. He covers a very wided variety of topics. I have listed to his podcasts for several years.
 

paget54

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I will be 87 in 3 weeks. My libido is very high as is my testosterone. I have minor problems getting erect. My urologist says it is because I have had 2 TURP procedures. Thos has also affected my semen volume. I am quote active sexually
You, sir, are an inspiration. "quite active sexually" at age 87. Wonderful
 

BigDixRule

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Wow, thanks for your candid exposé that enables this discussion!
Porns (the guys who cum healthy looking thick pools of cum) are doing more harm than good to the sexual health of most people. And the urge to brag about one's sexual prowess doesn't help either (you only have braggers replying to you)
Medical literatures document that most men start experiencing decreasing libido from 35-40 onwards at different speeds, with some beginning to experience unpredictable episodes of ED.
The unpredictable aspect in turn aggravates the ED because nothing is worse than not being sure that you can "perform" with your partner in bed... but that's part of life.

Some more pragmatic, personal advice: @BigDixRule

Congrats for being brave enough to ask your doctor for Viagra, but ask for Cialis (tadalafil) instead.
When you're on Viagra you're basically on the clock for your "performance" because it only has a window of action +/- 3 hours. With Cialis you have a whole day - that makes a hell of a difference when you're a on a date, and you don't have to worry whether your Viagra is wearing out.
In addition I get the impression you're like me. Even when I was young, I wasn't particularly interested in one night stands / no future encounters. I need personal attachment to my partner in bed before I feel really the need for sex. And that applies equally to the cum volume (which seems to be another focus of yours) - my cum volume is directly related to the extent my partner in bed excites me. And that excitement only happens when we know each other at least relatively well.

So my advice - get the Cialis and go on dates with someone you can grow intimacy on. In your post, it is not clear whether you're partnered - or at least have regular "friends with benefits". I recently made good friend with a FWB that we came in bed twice, together... and that was just great! :p
(For full disclosure, yes, I was on "performance enhancement")
I was actually on sildanifil, the generic version to viagra. Caution with my spelling of the medication. lol
 
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accidenttourist

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I was actually on sildanifil, the generic version to viagra. Caution with my spelling of the medication. lol
Yeap, Sildenafil = Viagra.
Trust me, ask your doctor for Cialis (generic = tadalafil) instead.
It changes completely your confidence when you don't have to worry if he/she will have sex with you within the 3 hours window...
Effectiveness and side effect profiles are actually very similar between the two. So why deprive yourself of the chance for a real date, and build some intimacy before acting on it? ;)
 

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Can someone shed a light on this. (57wm/Cialis user). Starting about 5 years ago my orgasms have gotten more intense (no complaints about the previous level however). Yet, the "cum shot" is now nearly non-existent. Nowadays it just more or less leaks out. What happened? You'd think greater intensity/bigger distance. But it's just the opposite. Can't complain, but l do miss the shooting of the ropes.
 
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accidenttourist

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Can someone shed a light on this. (57wm/Cialis user). Starting about 5 years ago my orgasms have gotten more intense (no complaints about the previous level however). Yet, the "cum shot" is now nearly non-existent. Nowadays it just more or less leaks out. What happened? You'd think greater intensity/bigger distance. But it's just the opposite. Can't complain, but l do miss the shooting of the ropes.
@docilej - has there been changes to the volume of sperm at ejaculation?
Chances are it's just the normal enlargement of the prostate after 50 years old.

As your prostate grows larger, the part of it directly under the bladder (the median lobe) pushes against the neck of the bladder (internal sphincter), which is a muscle that you cannot control. (It's the external sphincter below the prostate that you can control so as not to pee at the wrong moment).

When everything is soft there is no problem at all. But when you are about to cum, everything (including your prostate) is rock hard and enlarged (like your penis). During the "cum shot", the normal ejaculatory reflex (once you cross the point of no return) is for the internal sphincter to close, the external sphincter to fully relax, then the pelvic floor muscles (3 of them) to start the familiar orgasmic contractions to push the sperm out.

Here comes the part of the enlarged prostate. As it pushes against the bladder neck, the internal sphincter can no longer close perfectly. Result - when you shoot, part of the sperm leaks into the bladder instead, and the "cum shot" is now much weaker (the oozing out you're referring to).

In short, it's just perfectly normal part of ageing, so long as your prostate has not enlarged enough to make peeing complicated. (The sperm leaked into the bladder will come out the next time you pee)

Win some, lose some - you're rewarded with stronger and stronger orgasm! (Yes, that's also a documented part of ageing) ;)
 

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I am 68 and I have noticed definite issues with sex. Even though I am in good health and on no medications I do have occasional problems getting or maintaining an erection. Sometimes my cum just dribbles out and doesn't shoot like it used to. I have used viagra but don't feel a need for it all the time

My libido is much lower nowadays. Where I used to jerk off daily I now do it once or twice a week. And it's now been a few years since I had sex with another person, partly due to my concern over how I might perform. But I am mostly okay with this.
 

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@docilej - has there been changes to the volume of sperm at ejaculation?
Chances are it's just the normal enlargement of the prostate after 50 years old.

As your prostate grows larger, the part of it directly under the bladder (the median lobe) pushes against the neck of the bladder (internal sphincter), which is a muscle that you cannot control. (It's the external sphincter below the prostate that you can control so as not to pee at the wrong moment).

When everything is soft there is no problem at all. But when you are about to cum, everything (including your prostate) is rock hard and enlarged (like your penis). During the "cum shot", the normal ejaculatory reflex (once you cross the point of no return) is for the internal sphincter to close, the external sphincter to fully relax, then the pelvic floor muscles (3 of them) to start the familiar orgasmic contractions to push the sperm out.

Here comes the part of the enlarged prostate. As it pushes against the bladder neck, the internal sphincter can no longer close perfectly. Result - when you shoot, part of the sperm leaks into the bladder instead, and the "cum shot" is now much weaker (the oozing out you're referring to).

In short, it's just perfectly normal part of ageing, so long as your prostate has not enlarged enough to make peeing complicated. (The sperm leaked into the bladder will come out the next time you pee)

Win some, lose some - you're rewarded with stronger and stronger orgasm! (Yes, that's also a documented part of ageing) ;)
Thanks for the explanation. You totally saved me a co-pay for an avoided doctor's visit! Haha...
Guess this one of the " blessings " of getting old -sigh-
 
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accidenttourist

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Thanks for the explanation. You totally saved me a co-pay for an avoided doctor's visit! Haha...
Guess this one of the " blessings " of getting old -sigh-
Well it's a "blessing" in the sense like you can last longer during sex without the urge to nut right away, I imagine?
Female partners / bottom guys usually prefer tops who can keep going without having to cool down everything in the middle of the heat...

Win some, lose some! :p
 
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BigAl9

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One of my most troublesome problems is the difficulty in reaching climax. Early in my 20s I trained myself to be able to delay cumming until my partner finished. Now many years later and after two TURP procedures I find reaching climax very difficult. It has not been unsual for me to be involved sexually with my partner for hours with them climaxing sometimes repeatedly and me never reaching climax. This is frustrating.
 
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