Men Defensive About Gay Comments?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by B_mylipswet, Nov 28, 2008.

  1. B_mylipswet

    B_mylipswet New Member

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    In your mind until you meet me eye to eye if you d
    What does it mean if a guy becomes so defensive about a woman questioning him if he's bi when it is clear he is chatting with gay men if he claims he is straight? He told me our relationship is over if I ask him about it again. Ha, I think he was hiding something. What do you have to say. I need to know.
     
  2. catman

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    Bisexuals have always been not loved, in some folks minds you are either GAY or STRAIGHT. period...

    So the bi guy is REALLY a closet case who can't admit he is REALLY gay andthis is threatening (how I don't know) (the gays view)

    OR the bi guy is straight guy how fucks around with guys or...

    its endless.

    personally I like the term 'sexual'.
     
  3. bigguy11211

    bigguy11211 New Member

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    2 points:

    1) If he's that touchy, there's a reason. Probably one that is hard for him to admit, but a reason nonetheless. If he's prepared to finish something on that basis, you're better off without.

    2) You are beautiful and have outstanding breasts. Sorry, just needed to say it!:smile:

    Hope at least one of these was helpful...
     
  4. D_Quincy Quiverbone

    D_Quincy Quiverbone New Member

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    The problem is that a lot of "straight" men actively seek out sexual activity for pleasure with other men yet still consider themselves to be "straight". That's not straight, that's being either bisexual or gay. It's sort of funny to see how some of these guys will bend over backwards to explain how letting a guy suck their cock for fun is "straight" but at the same time we shouldn't label human sexuality.
     
  5. Principessa

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    QFT! IMO, If he's that touchy about you asking questions then he is probably a closet gay and not really bi.

    Also, it has been my experience that the bi men on this site come here looking for men, not women. It is after all a large penis site, not a large pussy site. :rolleyes::tongue:
     
  6. B_mylipswet

    B_mylipswet New Member

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    Thank you for for both and very helpful.
     
  7. B_mylipswet

    B_mylipswet New Member

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    Thanks, very much and I think it sunk in he is gay
     
  8. sexplease

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    I've read somewhere, and I'll look for the study, that most men honestly identify themselves as straight OR gay.
    Women , most often straight AND gay or, bi.
     
  9. bigguy11211

    bigguy11211 New Member

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    Indeed! A large pussy site would be just awful though!:tongue:
     
  10. cutedorkwho

    cutedorkwho Member

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    It doesn't bother me any, just tonight some girl "accused" me of being in love with some (yes rather hot) male musician but instead of getting defensive and angry I just playfully went along with it, making her really wonder. ;)








    And yes, I got a number and a future date :)
     
  11. Northland

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    Chatting? Since you don't indicate if there is any sexual content to the chatting I have composed the following response on the basis that it was merely chatter without sexual content.

    If he becomes defensive there may be reasons. What those reasons are may be known only to him; however, I must ask a question here: Why is the woman questioning his sexuality if he happens to be chatting with gay men? Is he supposed to only chat with straight men or with women? Maybe he is reacting more from the woman trying to regulate his life. Sometimes chatting is just chatting and there's nothing untoward about it.
     
  12. MarkLondon

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    And even camming, believe it or not.

    I've had straight guys cam for me (no actually, more like TO me or AT me). They are very different to gay or bi men. They are not interested in seeing my cock (I don't have a cam and they're happy with one-way). They get off on my admiration of their penis rather than dirty talk or gay sexual fantasising. Any chat about sexual activity is about them and their woman, and they talk about their wife or g/f in an open but respectful way. They are not at all interested in what I get up to with my partners.

    I don't fully understand what they get out of it. I sometimes think they'd be happier showing to another straight man, if they could find one that was interested. But it seems that I affirm them, both as a sexually attractive being and as a straight man. Weirdly, I suspect I'm enhancing their heterosexual performance too. There may be some ladies out there who owe me a favour, lol!

    Huh, humans. Wierd, eh?
     
    #12 MarkLondon, Nov 29, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2008
  13. D_Aston Asstonne

    D_Aston Asstonne Account Disabled

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    He's a closet gay, you can bet your sweet arse.
     
  14. Rikter8

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    Because your a hottie.
     
  15. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    Wouldn't bother me either. I love my own gender ... I just don't make love to my own gender.
     
  16. Stephenmass

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    It seems that almost all the responses here say he is a closet gay. I am not so sure because as a gay man myself, I "speak" to many straight men, and they ARE straight, but have no hangups talking with gay men because they are comfortable enough to not be labelled gay simply because they are talking with me. If this chatting is all you have, quite simply it's not enough to say anything about him. As a straight woman asking the question (OP) do you talk with any gay people, perhaps even female? If you do, does that make you a lesbian?

    Seems peeps are jumping the gun on this one.
     
  17. Principessa

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    I see your point, but it's the fact he is hiding this from her that makes him seem on the down low.
     
  18. midlifebear

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    Your bi guy should leave you immediately and hook up with someone who isn't so intent upon looking for trouble where none exists. Can you spell B I T C H?
     
  19. B_henry miller

    B_henry miller New Member

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    I myself wonder about this as well. Many of us straight guys on this site do not mind when gay guys compliment us. I don't mind it on this site or in real life. I think it's great. But I have no interest in hearing about the sex lives of gay men, joining with them, etc.

    I think that, oddly, it's the non-sexuality of it that is appealing. A gay guy will feel more comfortable complimenting another guy than a straight guy would. A straight guy who is truly straight and is confident in this will not be threatened by a gay guy's compliment. And because there's no chance of things becoming sexual, there is also no pressure.

    In other words, it's just the opportunity to share in a type of fraternity, a brotherhood of sorts. And you know what? People are people and they like being complimented. Straight guys are probably also a little delusional. Homophobia in straight men is usually founded on a belief that every gay man out there wants you. This is what I used to believe. It hurt my ego badly when I realized it wasn't true. LOL. In other words, if straight men often believe that every gay man out there wants him, then straight guys also believe that every gay guy out there is a walking "compliment machine."

     
    #19 B_henry miller, Nov 29, 2008
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2008
  20. camerondude

    camerondude New Member

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    he may like to express himself with both genders and your questioning him naturally puts him ill at ease as he experiments. way too much empahasis on silly tags that do nothing but constrict both him and u!
     
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