Men Describing Themselves As Masculine

Canbe

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New user describes himself as masculine. Do you think that's biased. Like if he was feminine and he described himself as feminine that will recieve lots of backlash or if a woman describes herself as masculine that also wont be accepted.


What do you think.



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Canbe

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tallacori

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Nothing wrong with it. Why is it self hating or “homophobic” if one identifies as masc? Not everyone is limp wrist and listens to lady Gaga.

It seems self hating and homophobic for the reason that people often say it to distance themselves from those who are "limp wrist and listen to lady Gaga." It's basically saying no homo because even the idea that someone might mistake you for a homosexual/feminine is so personally distressing.

How someone holds their hand and what music they listen to doesn't affect me but it's especially inconsequential on a text based community so I can see why people might question the motive behind shouting "I'm not like those others girls" the minute you walk in.

That said the post in question would not have registered to me but I've seen this discussion enough to know why some people would notice it and be bothered. Take it as you will.
 
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It seems self hating and homophobic for the reason that people often say it to distance themselves from those who are "limp wrist and listen to lady Gaga." It's basically saying no homo because even the idea that someone might mistake you for a homosexual/feminine is so personally distressing.

How someone holds their hand and what music they listen to doesn't affect me but it's especially inconsequential on a text based community so I can see why people might question the motive behind shouting "I'm not like those others girls" the minute you walk in.

That said the post in question would not have registered to me but I've seen this discussion enough to know why some people would notice it and be bothered. Take it as you will.

How are they saying “no homo” by saying they are masculine yet they are still gay and seeking other gay men? Make it make sense.
 

str8fan

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I always find it a bit ridiculous when gays describe themselves as "masculine" or "virile", as if they need to confirm to themselves that you won't be ashamed if you go out for pizza with them ... in such behaviour, there is undoubtedly a part of homophobia, in the form of a need to imitate a sexist stereotype, but in fact, any serotype, once deconstructed, can become a game, and even a funny game... Tom of Finland, for example, it's a successful and amusing deconstruction of the stereotype of " virile."
 

malakos

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The only reason I could imagine someone making such a big issue out of a simple identification with masculinity would be if your instinctive sense of what masculinity represents is wholly negative. Which is sad if true.
 
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Canbe

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My issue wasnt with the fact that he described himself as masculine. My issue was that when he says masculine he means straight acting presuming all straight men are masculine and act in a masculine way.
 

windibundu

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I do think that the whole, "masc for masc" thing is probably, on some level, for many people, some kind of expression of internalized homophobia.

Here's the thing though - we have to be humble when it comes to individuals - Does it make sense to inform Bistud that he needs to, "check his masculine privilege"?

Let's say, for the sake of example, you are correct and Bistud is a homophobe. He is probably not aware of his own bias. How do you think he will respond to you calling him out?

The problem here, I think, is mind reading. It reminds me of when other people inform me that my being gay is a choice . I think many people have experienced some degree of bisexual attraction or at least, have been able to imagine themselves in bisexual acts and so for them, it seems like I should just choose to ignore my same sex attractions (after all they have probably done so themselves). The problem is; I have never been attracted to a girl in my whole life. Like literally never. I might be able to have sex with a girl if I closed my eyes and fantasized about a guy the whole time - what kind of choice is that?

People will almost always get offended when you try to mind read them. If you guess right, they will probably just get defensive and you will find yourself in a flame war. If you guess wrong, they are likely to feel stereotyped and get all bent-out-of-shape over that.
 

tallacori

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How are they saying “no homo” by saying...

I meant "no homo" in the way that straight people use it after any sort of male to male interaction because they need to make sure that nobody interprets a hug or kind word as being gay. Essentially it's saying that even the idea of being gay is revolting and must be preemptively corrected.

Which is similar to what some (not all, I know tons of people are ready to get their panties in a bunch) masculine gays are doing by preemptively telling people they're not feminine when no one asked, as if that's the worst thing a gay person could be.

Basic point: The "I'm masc"/"masc for masc" set sound a lot like the "no homo" set i.e. a little cringeworthy.

Aside: the whole thing is especially pointless because there's no real agreement about what counts as masc beyond certain cultural caricatures that aren't universal accepted.
 

tallacori

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... straight acting presuming all straight men are masculine and act in a masculine way.

This is true. Also the concept of straight acting implies that this is a goal to be achieved or is somehow beneficial than the other option. Which is what brings out the claims of internalised homophobia because you're strongly implying that being gay (or acting gay, whatever you choose to believe that means) is somehow shameful.