Men/Teen Relationships: Another Perspective

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by Freddie53, Nov 13, 2007.

  1. Freddie53

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    Last year I was critically injured in a car accident. Most of the nurses and nurse assistants were woman. There was one or two male nurses, but all the CNA's, certified nurses assistants, were women except one young man.

    He and his mother were both on duty when I first remember him helping me with nursing duties. I remember the conversation that he planned to go to school to be a doctor and his mother thought that this would be good experience for him.

    Being a retired teacher, I gave praise for that as I see the need for professionals to learn the basics at the lowest level to make them the best when they reach the top. His mother and he only worked on the weekends. I noticed that he was always with his mother, though sometimes he was with another NCA. I inquired about this and found out that he was still in cNA training.

    Then the next weekend I found out his age. Not only was he young. He was 15 and was in training which meant he was not being paid at that time. The day he turned 16 he became an employee of the rehap hospital I was in. In my state, the age to work is age 16.

    All my teaching career I had been taught and followed the policy that I was on another level then with the students. I had no problem using a public restroom with minors if there were dividers and stalls with doors. But I never in my career stood at the urinal with the boys and in church work I never took communal showers at the same time as the boys.

    Now the roles were reversed. He was a 16 year old who was the caregiver and I was the patient. I must say that he was very professional doing his job. At that particular moment in time, I was almost helpless. I was able to use my arms and hands and could feed myself, but that was about it.

    In all the recovery time I went through, women CNA's took care of me except one man about my age who gave me a shower two different times. Saturdays were shower or bed bath days which I had at first. And he worked on Saturday. So there I was a 55 year old man at the time being given a shower by a 16 year old.

    I start this thread because at first my reaction was, "Oh, no, this is morally wrong." This young man gave showers to all the people on his shift and most of them were women. All the CNA's were women except him. Certainly in this hospital setting having another human being take care of your needs is about as innocent as it can be. Still, there I was an adult with a teacher mindset completely nude in front of a 16 year old who I must say was as professional if not more so than the other CNA's.

    But it took me a while to realize that in the physical state I was in, this young man was over me. I was helpless. He had in his power to physically abuse me if he had so wished and I would have been helpless other than to scream. This was a reverse situation than I was in as a teacher in the classroom.

    My question or reason for this thread is that there has been so much written about minors and adults to the point that to some, a minor seeing an adult nude is morally wrong. Several posters have pretty much said this.

    Yet that was the predicament I was in. That is what happens when a person has a car wreck and is in critical condition. I didn't even know I was in the world for two weeks. I have no idea who took care of me then. At that point I was basically a baby in an adult body.

    Without being told the story behind this, "How many of you would on impulse say that it is morally wrong for a 16 year old to be a CNA and that hospitals should wait until the minors are 18 before they can work as CNAs.

    I will admit that at first, I thought this isn't right. But that comes from my professional background where I was always the adult in charge OVER minors, not just happen to be in the same place as the minors, but in charge.

    After some reflection I realized that it is really wonderful that a 16 year old male teen can work and do all the duties of a CNA as he prepares to study to be a doctor. I sometimes don't give enough credit to teens 16 years old to do adult duties and do them very professionally. In reality, he was a model that all of our 16 year old guys could identify with.

    The teacher in me of course came forth and I asked him questions about what he wanted to do and bragged on him being very professional. I gave the encouragement that I always gave in the classroom for him to really pursue his dreams. We got along well and he told me about his girl friends and school activities. Within weeks I was well enough to leave that facility to go to the next level of rehabilitation. I could tell that it meant something to him that I gave him encouragement to further his dreams of being a doctor.

    How many of you would have problems with a 16 year old CNA if you found yourself critically injured. If you do have problems with 16 year olds being CNA's, what reasons can you give?
     
  2. Principessa

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    First off let me say I am so glad you survived that accident! Are you 100% now? Or are you making peace with your 'new normal?'
     
  3. Northland

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    In my teen years, I attended a high school (grades 9-12) which had a nursing program. In their Junior and Senior years (grades 11 and 12) the students worked at a local hospital. They worked at first along side PNs (Practical Nurses) and RNs (Registered Nurses). Later they worked on their own (with supervision just a few yards away) and they cleaned patients, changed bedpans, took temperatures, checked blood pressure. In short, they did everything that the adult staff did, and I am sure this included seeing nudity and having physical contact of adults. Keep in mind, the students were as young as 15. Nobody saw anything deplorable or lacking in morality with this matter. This was a medical setting and had nothing to do with sex. Often times, young persons must attend to an elderly parent or grandparent or sibling for medical needs; and, there is nothing seedy about that either, except in the minds of mentally malformed individuals looking for sin at every turn.

    I have been in medical situations where I have been attended to by both men and women. Similar to a visit to a doctor, there is never anything sexual in this and if a 16 year old were the person tending to me, I would not be upset by it. It should be applauded that a person as young as the man who attended you, is willing to enter into, not only the workforce; but, a job which is physically and mentally stressful.
     
  4. Freddie53

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    Thanks for your post, but especially the part in bold. I see in America the trend to make anything and everything about the human body to be sexual and that sexuality is a horrible thing.

    At the same time our culture is obsessed with sexual themes and the availability of porn is at an all time high. More and more of the body and sexual subjects are on family TV and at the same time the idea that the penis is a very wicked and evil thing is beginning to permeate our society more and more. Notice that breast and vaginas are not nearly as relegated to wickedness as the penis. Notice the guidelines for movies. Vaginas may be visable on R rated movies. To show the penis in a movie usually means that the movie will be X rated or XX rated.


    I'm surprised that someone hasn't seen this thread and determined that it is very wicked for a minor to attend to an adult in any situation and that the adult who is very ill is somehow guilty of some sexual crime for being helpless in a hospital bed.

    Here is an opinion about age. It is only been in the last few decades that 16 and 17 year olds have been legally classified as children and considered by law to be no different than a six year old.

    To me I have come to believe it is more about position as in teacher and student, doctor and patient or equals that is most important issue regardless of age. Of course with children it is never an equal situation when it comes to children and adults. When does a child become an adult? In America it is 18 legally. Some teens are adults at age 15 emotionally. Some 21 year olds are not emotionally adults yet. Emotionally it will be different for each person.

    We have to have a legal standard, especially for the Internet. But in the real world where there are parents involved it is different. In my state, 16 and 17 year olds may marry if the parents will sign permission to be married.
     
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