Men who are pussy whipped by their wives

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by earllogjam, Aug 11, 2008.

  1. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    It always astounds me how much control wives have over their husbands. Even among relatively minor things like when they can go out, what to eat, where to go on vacation, what they can wear, what the house looks like. Do men just give in to wives because it's just easier?

    Is this a common dynamic among married straights couples? Are most married men controlled by their wives whether they think so or not?

    There are times when I feel sorry for married guys simply because it seems their lives are so limited by their wives.
     
  2. Domisoldo

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 23, 2008
    Messages:
    4,079
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest
    ...a counterculture to wife-beaters?

    I am sorry, two wrongs don't make a right.
     
  3. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    8,498
    Likes Received:
    18
    They give in because they choose too. Every so often, one of those men blows up and it's like an atomic bomb. Sometimes, the wife gets served divorce papers at work. Totally blindsided. Personally, if you don't respect me, hit the road. The fastest way to get a man to not want you is to treat him with disrespect. You can even dress all sexy and he won't care.
     
  4. SassySpy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2006
    Messages:
    1,277
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Seattle USA,
    I understand what you're saying. I sincerely hope the decisions made in our home are joint ones- I always consider first what my other half wants or has to say. There are times my decision rules, times that his does. Usually it depends on who has presented the most rational justification for their decision.

    On the other hand- and truly Earl not hijacking your thread, but........... there are the men who control everything, by whatever means possible. Their word is law even if it is totally stupid. The women in those relationships have no voice at all.:no:
     
  5. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    Sure there are power differences in all couples Sassy but judging from my male friends who are married their wifes control the household and anything dealing with the care of their kids. The guys just follow the program that's laid out. Maybe I just know spineless straight guys.
     
  6. psidom

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2006
    Messages:
    1,861
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    2
    i am pussywhipped by pussy not my girlfriend.
    i think men that turn into mutts are insecure,and also unaware of
    a tactic that tells the lady what the "deal" is.(same for women)

    i am an equal oppurtunity lover.
    if you love and worship myself and my body as i do yours as a woman,
    then we are in a relative position for a relationship.

    if you are a controlfreak,psychologically abusive,or aloof,
    i will reciprocate with a 1/4 more harshness than you.
    sassy is right on the money though...men do it too.

    this is the anima and the animus that mankind has to balance
    in order to see past the popular prepubescent way of looking at sex and love.

    man strong and protects...woman weak need man.
    sad thing is woman plays into it just as much as the man.
    we keep ourselves in it for the sake of being society's norm.
     
  7. D_Bob_Crotchitch

    D_Bob_Crotchitch New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2006
    Messages:
    8,498
    Likes Received:
    18
    They may want too. They don't have to make decisions. Who knows why it's like that?
     
  8. Phil Ayesho

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    5,595
    Likes Received:
    884
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Diego
    No, you know guys who represent the vast majority of guys who make a decent living.

    Listen , very few guys are wife beaters, and most of the wife beaters are in the lower income category... where a combination of low intellect, low ambition, monetary stress and above average frustration, rage and resentment boil over.

    Back in the 50s society in general and men in particular treated women as if they were empty headed ornaments.

    Today, society in general and women in particular treat men as if they are doofus fuckups who can't be trusted to exert control over anything.

    Watch TV and you will see the henpecked doofus is the standard for all sitcoms... no more I Love Lucy's... Today the women are portrayed as always having their shit together and always being the 'smart' one... having to compensate for the clowns they married.

    And MOST women today would claim up and down that their husbands have a "voice"... but, seriously... how many drawers in the house does he have to keep his stuff? Or are his interests relegated to the garage and the basement?
     
  9. SpeedoGuy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 18, 2004
    Messages:
    4,229
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    10
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Pacific Northwest, USA
    I also observe too much of this these days for it just to be coincidence. I can only conclude that such characterizations are popular among viewers and advertisers.

    If women and minorities repeatedly being portrayed in derogatory stereotypical roles has a cumulative negative effect, so must it also eventually be true when the roles are reversed.

    No one likes seeing their own type repeatedly portrayed as goofballs.
     
  10. D_Portelay Porquesword

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2008
    Messages:
    3,107
    Likes Received:
    5
    It all boils down to the individual dynamic. Not every situation is the same, however these kinds of connections between husband and wife and partners are all basically rooted in the same issues.

    I see it in both gay and str8 relationships.

    In my opinion, these things take place when a level of comfort has taken place in a relationship. You trust your partner to give you the best advice, how you dress, business, friendships and the most important, how far you can extend yourself (in what ever manner) before you wind up getting yourself in trouble.

    It is both guardianship and protection. All of us want to feel this in a relationship, in sense you feel complete as a result. Two become one. It is the natural order of things.

    Even though present day divorce rates speak to the contrary, deep inside each of us it what we all aspire to in relationships. The right hand man, or woman there beside us telling us the truth, approval, giving us their best council and best of all love. If these things are not done with love, it counts for nothing in the end.

    When you have this kind of partnership with another human being, it offers strength in times of crisis. You want to know that person whom you have interacted with on that level is there for you giving unconditional support.

    Those of us who view this from the outside get frustrated because our understanding of it is limited. Call it what you will, pussy whipped or whatever...ultimately it is a personal decision for both parties involved and not designed to be understood standing from the outside looking in.
     
  11. B_Hung Jon

    B_Hung Jon New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2007
    Messages:
    5,008
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles, California
    From a girl's point of view, guys don't notice most detail, whether it's about keeping a house clean or taking care of kids. So I think women just exert their power in these areas because they think they know more about them. And I know lots of guys who are happy about that so they don't have to deal with small stuff. My dad is like that.
     
  12. Principessa

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2006
    Messages:
    19,494
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Female
     
  13. AG08

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    2,144
    Likes Received:
    431
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    I can't tell you how many buddies of mine I have lost over the years because of their control freak wives. They can't fart without their wife's permission - pathetic. Their wives put a stop to their boys night out and started to make them hang out with their wife's friends. I was lucky to marry a really cool woman who gives me a ton of freedom. I can't say the same for any of my old friends. I feel sorry for them and see divorce in their future (if these guys ever get a spine again).
     
  14. ZOS23xy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2007
    Messages:
    5,073
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Location:
    directly above the center of the earth
    Pussy whimped? No not me. My wife and I tend to make and do decisions together. An argument is a rarity.

    I do know of couples where the wife was not allowed the upper hand and the arguments became screeching festivals. Too bad they live with us. They always claimed sex was better after they made up.

    In my mind I thought they were sick motherfuckers.
     
  15. lucky8

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2006
    Messages:
    3,716
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Male
    I'm not married but I think it's pretty safe to say that giving in is a lot easier than having your ear nagged off. From what I've seen, if women don't get their way, they bitch nonstop and try to make us feel guilty about it, if men don't get their way, well, they let it go and move on...this excludes metrosexuals of course
     
  16. JamieBoy

    JamieBoy New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2007
    Messages:
    90
    Likes Received:
    0
    I think it was Mike Nelson who described it most succinctly in his article "Divorce (06.26.99) ".

    ....."Hypothesis: Most married people are in it for the wrong reason. I thought the only real reason for marriage was true love.



    One married friend admits that he wishes he could run away with his friend's younger sister with whom he had an affair, and that he's only with his wife because they have big financial problems to work through together. (Reason: Duty.) Another admits that his wife takes great care of the kids, is a wonderful cook, and keeps the house looking nice, but he doesn't even like her. (Reason: Convenience.)



    Finally, you meet a married friend who is happy. I've heard it oft repeated that the secret to a successful marriage is to give your wife all the money, and to do everything she tells you (no, seriously.) You observe how your happily married friend does just that. His wife tells him exactly what to do and how to behave, and he loves her so much that he either A) is blind to the fact that he's a total puppet, or B) doesn't really mind. It's sad to realize you couldn't be like him.



    You've seen at least one couple like that. The balance of power in the relationship rests mostly on one person's shoulders, and the other just sucks it up, because they think that's the way to make things work. They are not their own person, and don't even necessarily want to be. The typical victim is a man who needs a mother more than a wife, or a woman who thinks so little of herself that she'll do anything for her man's approval.



    Antithesis: Marriage isn't about true love, it's about two messed up people who balance each other out..."
     
  17. D_Fiona_Farvel

    D_Fiona_Farvel Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    3,790
    Likes Received:
    17
    Ita! :smile:
    Plus, a few people I know in relationships with one significantly dominant partner, enjoy and prefer that setup. Not just in terms of comfort and security, but they operate best in a controlled environment, or one where the dominant person takes care of 90%+ of daily life and they concentrate on less.

    In half of my LTRs the guys have just been the type to hand control of certain parts of their lives to their GFs/Wives/Mother/Sisters. :shrug:
     
  18. Phil Ayesho

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2008
    Messages:
    5,595
    Likes Received:
    884
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    San Diego
    This is not really the issue. Most men learn early in a relationship with a woman that she wants CONTROL of everything...

    Its not that I don't want to help out around the house.... its that I am not interested in being told that everything I do is wrong. I have had women tell me I am wiping up a mess incorrectly.

    Men's attitude toward that is simple... you want it done your way? then you handle it.

    Its that simple.


    Some men do not, that is true... but then, MOST men I know with children are the primary money earners. They work like dogs to make sure the family has the money they need. And often, they work themselves into an early grave.

    I get a little sick and tired of hearing women complain how little men contribute to the family... when, in fact, working long hours and focusing on a career that has the promise of significant increases in earnings IS SUPPORTING MY FAMILY.

    Keeping the lights on, the fridge full, and clothes on everyone's backs... paying for the gas sucking SUV, the karate lessons and the little league equipment, the Internet, computers, gameboys and spa treatments for Mom is absolutely supportive of the family.

    Truth be told... if Mom needs help taking kids to all the events she has scheduled in their lives... she should QUIT scheduling so many damn events and let the kids entertain themselves. Stop inventing more work.

    This persistent denigration of male contribution is a large part of the problem.

    Many women in the US have become very difficult to live with. Its become a huge control issue, and a de-valuation of everything male...

    I know several men who married European women ( not mail orders brides, women they actually met abroad) as their second or third wives... and they all have the same experience... that a European woman is far easier to live with than their American wives... because European women are not convinced that all men are always wrong...nor that everything masculine is worthless.


    You can actually buy T-shirts and posters such as the "Evolution of Authority"... which shows a series of footprints showing an ape's foot, then a man's bare foot, then a man's shoe print, then a woman's stiletto shoe print.
    Or the one that states, "if a man says something in the forest, and there's no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong?"

    These kind of jokes are popular and funny because they accurately reflect our society today.

    By and large... American women today have no real idea how controlling they tend to be. How critical and demeaning they are toward the men in their lives.
     
  19. AG08

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    2,144
    Likes Received:
    431
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    It's the same with women in Canada. A few of my friends lived and worked in Asia after they finished university. They all came back with Asian wives. They told me that they preferred Asian women because Canadian women were "too bitchy". They told me that there were Canadian women working in Asia looking to hook up with Canadian men working there, but the Canadian men wanted nothing to do with them. The Canadian women strongly resented the fact that Canadian men were more interested in having Asian girlfriends and wives.

    A neighbour of mine is a total loud mouthed bitch. She had to go and find a husband in Cuba (my neighbour and I used to joke "buy a husband in Cuba") because she couldn't find a man here. No surprise there. Who the hell would want to be married to an obnoxious loud mouthed bitch? I think once he gets his citizenship he'll be out of there with half of her possessions. It'll look good on her. She constantly yells at him and humiliates him in public.

    The place where I work is about 85% female. The bitchiness in the office drives me crazy (as well as my male colleague). We avoid being in the office as much as possible because of this (the kind of work that I do doesn't require me to be in the office if I don't want to be in there). One of my female colleagues is recently divorced and it's no wonder why to my male colleague and I. She is SUCH a bitch and incredibly bitter about her life. I couldn't imagine coming home to that every night. Her ex-husband (a total zero - lacking in looks, money, career opportunities) had an affair. Again little wonder why. Another woman I work with is a total bitch as well and her husband is completely whipped. I think that the day will come where he will have had enough and he'll walk out on her.

    I am one of the fortunate ones. I married a wonderful woman, and I'm very thankful to have her as my wife. She is so good to me and gives me complete freedom. She is my entire life and I thank God for her. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her.

    I'm a strong believer in karma. What you put out there comes right back at you, and then some.
     
    #19 AG08, Aug 13, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2008
  20. earllogjam

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 15, 2006
    Messages:
    5,027
    Likes Received:
    21
    Any married women want to weigh in?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted