Men who are pussy whipped by their wives

Phil Ayesho

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Yawn!!
Yet another predictable "Phil" rant about the evils of women kind.
Phil my dear you are an utterly boring little shit.

Thanks, Dragonfly... this kind of baseless and abusive response based solely upon gender rather than argument is perfectly in support of my thesis.

I would point out that I am precisely as likely to post about the "evils" of men-kind...

Also like to point out to others that nothing I said was 50's style chauvinism.

I know a lot of working women... I also know a LOT of women who have decided that running the household is enough of a job that they would prefer to stay home and have a single income earner.

I think working women often have men who do not do enough to help out with the home tasks.

AND I am acknowledging that many men GIVE UP and cease contributing.

( for the women who can never be wrong... that is called owning up to a fault. )

But part of the problem is women's insistence on having authority over all home related tasks... which makes the husband their inferior at home... and their being critical of how such tasks are being done...
Thankless jobs simply don't get done.

And the other part of the problem is that if one spouse feels that a clean floor is important... and the other spouse could care less... then the person for whom it matters most will be the one who ends up doing it.
Women create priorities that create extra work, often unnecessarily- I know several who spend half their day driving kids to unecessarily invented social events...


I would like to point out that the relationships I see where BOTH parties seem to share tasks equally are those relationships where whoever is doing the task has authority over how it is done.

I have known women who would never criticize their husband's cooking, cleaning, or parenting... and those women always have husbands who seem more willing to chip in.

Call me names... demonize me all you like...
Nothing I am saying is ANTI-woman...

The tenor of the responses to my post, by gender, is revealing.
 

titan1968

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I diasagree. If men and women have to work, it's because nowadays it's very hard to pay a mortgage, pay the bills, raise children or go to the market on one salary. Money simply doesn't go far as it used to.

If some women choose to do all of the work in the home, it's their choice -- they shouldn't complain; they should only do their share or whatever is mutually agreed on, nothing else. If they have issues with their husbands, they should tell them-- they should communicate.

I could never be pussy whipped by my wife or girlfriend. If she ever tried to run me, I'd talk things over; if that didn't work, I'd show her the door.

Hear, hear. MB has said it all.

Phil, I love ya, but you are missing the boat so completely.

I tell you what the deal is: Men are GUILT RIDDEN.

To live in today's culture with all the "must-have" gadets, the woman has to work outside the home -- AND STILL HAS TO CARRY OUT ALMOST ALL THE WORK INSIDE THE HOME.

And men do NOT want to give up their toys, creature comforts and slack time, so they "allow" the women to do almost everything around the home/house despite the fact that the woman also works, and often makes more money! Men generally still earn more than women.

Women are not monsters.

We simply have a society where men would rather NOT WORK as hard as the women have to.
 

Ethyl

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Sad but true.

So Miss Bliss, are you blissfully enjoying your blissful life, and all it has to blissfully offer? I do so hope it is true for you.

Yes I am. Thank you for asking, hootie. :smile:

Pardon me for a moment. That no-good, worthless No_Strings folded the towels in half. They're supposed to be folded in thirds.

*knocks him into next week*
 

Jovial

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American Woman Kills Marine Husband For New Set of Jubblies
American Woman Kills Marine Husband For New Set of Jubblies | Dump Your Wife NOW!

i dunno the wife in this story sounds just as loving as can be.
:biggrin1:
She was actually innocent all along.
DA Drops Charges Against Marine Widow - Local News Story - KNSD | San Diego
The tissue samples containing arsenic were contaminated.
...and now you know the rest of the story!

Is it the 'assumption' here, that all american women do not have careers?
Is it also the 'assumption' here that those american women who are housewives do not have a 'job' (even though they work 24/7) and do not contribute to the household and should just be grateful for the chest-thumping husband that goes out to work (and plays golf, booze with friends, oops... obviously only when 'allowed')

Y'all need to join the 21st century boys! :wink:
If that's the guy you married, then you should be grateful. You got what you wanted.
 

got_lost

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Your post is typical misandry.


For the record, gentlemen, my 'rage' as you call it, is with regards to your attitude for 'blaming' womankind for your all woes and feelings of being 'whipped' or bossed about or not being apreciated when you mop the floor.



Phil wrote:
You gals can continue imagining that when men make these complaints that we are lying, or hate women, or any strategy you please that results in exculpating yourselves.



It's so much easier to blame others for your own shortcomings and talking about what you can't do instead of just getting up and doing it and putting it right.

If you think women are to blame, you're not going to solve 'your' issue by just moaning, you can solve it by dealing with it individually, each with his own woman.

Congress isn't going to come in and do it for you :rolleyes:

So my 'intolerance' of this discussion is the moaning wimpish way you've 'passed the buck' and blamed the universal (or American) downfall of a good husband on the wives.




You keep posting enough to let out your issues with ex. You need therapy. Maybe shock therapy.

Please don't read what I write thru the clouded filter of YOUR rage and undeserved sense of suffering.
I said nothing of the sort and to represent what I said is this fashion is a lie, and a slander.

If that's the guy you married, then you should be grateful. You got what you wanted.


The three of you are (a) wayyyyy out of line and (b) out of order to assume you know anything about my situation and to make it personal because a female has an opinion you don't like or wish to hear.

Other than this thread, I have had little or nothing to do with the three of you. You know nothing about me and have been quick to jump to the conclusion that my 'rage' has to be personal and not based on your own responses to this thread.

I am not a mother or a housewife and have no issue regard housework with my husband. I am just a member with an opinion.

I shall keep it to myself in future, don't worry.



Oh and Hootie.... I don't know who you are, what you are or why you felt you had to make the 'fat ass' comment but we have quite a few friends in common and I can't help but think it was beneath you.
 

D_Bob_Crotchitch

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For the record, gentlemen, my 'rage' as you call it, is with regards to your attitude for 'blaming' womankind for your all woes and feelings of being 'whipped' or bossed about or not being apreciated when you mop the floor.







It's so much easier to blame others for your own shortcomings and talking about what you can't do instead of just getting up and doing it and putting it right.

If you think women are to blame, you're not going to solve 'your' issue by just moaning, you can solve it by dealing with it individually, each with his own woman.

Congress isn't going to come in and do it for you :rolleyes:

So my 'intolerance' of this discussion is the moaning wimpish way you've 'passed the buck' and blamed the universal (or American) downfall of a good husband on the wives.











The three of you are (a) wayyyyy out of line and (b) out of order to assume you know anything about my situation and to make it personal because a female has an opinion you don't like or wish to hear.

Other than this thread, I have had little or nothing to do with the three of you. You know nothing about me and have been quick to jump to the conclusion that my 'rage' has to be personal and not based on your own responses to this thread.

I am not a mother or a housewife and have no issue regard housework with my husband. I am just a member with an opinion.

I shall keep it to myself in future, don't worry.



Oh and Hootie.... I don't know who you are, what you are or why you felt you had to make the 'fat ass' comment but we have quite a few friends in common and I can't help but think it was beneath you.


I hadn't posted anything about having problems with women. When in a relationship, it's always give and take with me. I learned that husbands and wives say please and thank you to one another just like a person should in any relationship.

Yes the fat ass was beneath me but it was better than saying Forever Alone. Forever Alone is what happens to people who can't give the respect in relationships that they want back.
 

SpeedoGuy

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Try and imagine what it feels like to tell women what you are going thru and what you are experiencing... and having them tell you you are wrong.

And that is one of the chief communication traps men face in relationhships.

The guy who, at last, opens up to talk honestly about issues that trouble him soon finds himself treated like a simpering pansy who needs to toughen up, face life, and get over it.

On the other hand, the guy who remains silent about the issues that concern him is regarded as out-of-touch with his feelings, uptight, old fashioned and utterly incapable of expressing himself correctly.

Pick your poison.
 

Jovial

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The three of you are (a) wayyyyy out of line and (b) out of order to assume you know anything about my situation and to make it personal because a female has an opinion you don't like or wish to hear.

Other than this thread, I have had little or nothing to do with the three of you. You know nothing about me and have been quick to jump to the conclusion that my 'rage' has to be personal and not based on your own responses to this thread.

I am not a mother or a housewife and have no issue regard housework with my husband. I am just a member with an opinion.

I shall keep it to myself in future, don't worry.
I'm sorry. My response was not intended to be personal. Your post I responded to didn't refer to yourself, so my use of "you" was intended to mean any woman.

"If that's the guy a woman married, then she should be grateful. She got what she wanted."

I just meant that sometimes women get married to guys that aren't ready to grow up, then expect the guy to suddenly grow up and become the family guy type.
 
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Basics of Dialog 101: Don't let this happen to you:

Argumentum ad Hominem (abusive and circumstantial): the fallacy of attacking the character or circumstances of an individual who is advancing a statement or an argument instead of trying to disprove the truth of the statement or the soundness of the argument. Often the argument is characterized simply as a personal attack.

I. The personal attack is also often termed an "ad personem argument": the statement or argument at issue is dropped from consideration or is ignored, and the locutor's character or circumstances are used to influence opinion.

II. The fallacy draws its appeal from the technique of "getting personal." The assumption is that what the locutor is saying is entirely or partially dictated by his character or special circumstances and so should be disregarded.​
 

Insanedragon

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K8, I don't agree with every ones opinion, but I believe in peoples right to express theres. I don't necessarily disagree with yours. Just that you come off like my mother who is a bipolar man hater. Expressing opinions, and arguing and fighting are two different things, we wont all agree. I hate pricks that abuse their spouse, no matter the sex. But being open minded means looking at things from different perspectives, first. And if a person wont here you, are they even worth talking to, or maybe there is a better way of getting your point across. can't understand normal thinking. I apologize For that remark! My father once told me ( only a fool argues with an idiot ). I don't want to be the idiot or the fool so I'll leave it at that.
 

Hippie Hollow Girl

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I will admit that I have been noticing a lot of straight relationships lately where the men do come across as in what I would call the pussy whipped category. And the same thoughts were going through my head as in the opperating post. Although really this isn't a gender related issue......There are males that are "control freaks" too.

What I think happens is.......because males are such visual creatures.......they tend to be blinded and see only what they want to see......until such time that the "love goggles" come off and they wake up in a pussy whipped situation. And they are trapped.....because there are children involved......and of course the wife makes sure the house is in her name .......along with all their other assets.... So if he wakes up and he isn't happy.....he has to walk out of the marriage empty handed..... and he probably won't get to see his kids very much if he chooses to get a divorce.

I don't think this is something that is only happening in North America. I have a cousin (who was in the military) who married a German woman and he ended up in a German prison for 2 years. She was prostituting herself from their home while he was at work. (She claimed later in court that he didn't give her enough money to keep food on the table.....which was a lie) He didn't like being locked out of their home while she was with clients.....so he filed for divorce. She claimed that he raped her during the marriage.....and they threw his butt in jail for 2 years. All on the word of a German citizen. No evidence or proof.

I have another cousin here in Texas who married a Cuban woman. She started out being so sweet......now she is a living nightmare....she is such a control freak. Her husband is pretty miserable......but his only option is getting a divorce.... and walking away empty handed without his kids..... So, he is hanging in there as long as he can.


I have been married to the same person for 19 years. I am pretty submissive to my husband by day.......But can be dominant in the bedroom.

My husband says he is pussy whipped.......but if it is true.......it is his choice.

And I guess I am cock whipped......by my choice also.

I think the key here is treating each other with respect. Treating others the way that you want to be treated.
 

Phil Ayesho

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And that is one of the chief communication traps men face in relationhships.

The guy who, at last, opens up to talk honestly about issues that trouble him soon finds himself treated like a simpering pansy who needs to toughen up, face life, and get over it.

On the other hand, the guy who remains silent about the issues that concern him is regarded as out-of-touch with his feelings, uptight, old fashioned and utterly incapable of expressing himself correctly.

Pick your poison.

And there is always the third option... bring up the observation that you are personally disregarded whether you speak up, or remain silent... and be castigated as a misogynist for merely suggesting that women might examine their own behavior.

Which leads directly to Exwhysee's excellent post regarding the difference between attacking an idea and attacking the person voicing an idea.


I do not claim that men are blameless.
I simply claim that men's behavior, in certain specific aspects, is the result of a dynamic... and that a large part of that dynamic is how they are treated.

This thread has offered ample evidence that the male perspective is disregarded out of hand by many women.


I just posted in another thread a scathing critique of a common male behavior... So, I hope some can divine that I am not a misogynist. I object to callous and insensitive behavior from both genders, equally.
 

Phil Ayesho

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For the record, gentlemen, my 'rage' as you call it, is with regards to your attitude for 'blaming' womankind for your all woes and feelings of being 'whipped' or bossed about or not being apreciated when you mop the floor.

Once more... you imagine yourself blameless.... totally immune to self examination.

That's great. Don't get on your high horse about anyone attacking YOU until you are capable of recognizing when you attack others.

Unlike you, I was not claiming any knowledge about YOU personally... I was claiming that your position and statements reflect the typical female=good male =bad party line that is the core issue I am trying to examine.

That is attacking your argument.... or lack thereof... not you.


Secondly, Women claim up and down they wish men were more communicative about their feelings... but, as pointing out by speedo, when they do, you attack us for being "whiners".

The truth is, and every man in a long term relationship with a woman knows this to be true, that most women do not what to hear how we feel... they want to hear us say what they imagine we Ought to feel.

This is what comes of playing with dolls, where the girl gets to script every character's internal response.


So MOST men learn by the age of 35 to shut the fuck up and just suffer it.
That is not whining. Its just withdrawl.

Most men a lazy enough that they would just as soon get shit on for doing nothing, than shit on for not doing something right... or not doing it with the 'right attitude'.

And half the reason many men will leave a relationship for a "younger woman" is unrelated to her appearance... its because younger women are less jaded and resentful of everything masculine... and still capable of looking at a man with admiration.



And finally...
I never blamed all problems on womankind. Men have plenty of stupid ignorant and cruel aspects they need to answer for all on their own.

And I am not blaming Womankind at all.

I am implicating a "perspective" that many women have adopted in the past 20 years.... an Idea set that was not in the culture previously... an idea set that was SOLD to women with the label of "self esteem"....

...But a self esteem that is bought at the expense of demeaning everything male.

Like any other "belief", is is not different than a shirt you wear... and you can change an unflattering or uncomfortable belief as easily as you can change a shirt.

It has nothing to do with women as people.

I don't love my father any less for his rabid republican ideas... I just feel he is totally out of touch...


This idea of women being good and men being bad has NOT made the women embracing this idea happier in their relationships.

I think it hurts women as much as it does men.
 

Not_Punny

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And there is always the third option... bring up the observation that you are personally disregarded whether you speak up, or remain silent... and be castigated as a misogynist for merely suggesting that women might examine their own behavior.

Which leads directly to Exwhysee's excellent post regarding the difference between attacking an idea and attacking the person voicing an idea.


I do not claim that men are blameless.
I simply claim that men's behavior, in certain specific aspects, is the result of a dynamic... and that a large part of that dynamic is how they are treated.

This thread has offered ample evidence that the male perspective is disregarded out of hand by many women.


I just posted in another thread a scathing critique of a common male behavior... So, I hope some can divine that I am not a misogynist. I object to callous and insensitive behavior from both genders, equally.

Phil, I have enjoyed many of your posts, but your posts in this thread -- not so much.

Sweeping generalities bother me. The idea that "men are emasculated" is one of them.

You have NEVER been a woman, and the way you're talking in this thread, you have NO IDEA about what goes on inside many households.

I cannot speak for all women, but I can speak for myself and for ALL the women I personally know: There is NO MAN THAT I KNOW OF that pulls his weight equally in the house. NOT ONE.

Sometimes, the man makes more money and feels he therefore deserves all the perks. Someones (like in my case), I'm the primary breadwinner, but I still have to do most/all of everything.

I do it because I want things to be a certain way and/or I want my kids to feel loved and cared for.

Oh, and yeah, my primary guy HATES to be told how to do something. This is a GREAT excuse to not do things ("I don't like being told how to do something, so guess what, I'm not going to do it. Tough shit.")

A piece of me believes that men are screaming "pussy whipped!" to get women to back off/shut up and STOP asking men to help out around the house.
 

Phil Ayesho

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well... I am not trying to suggest that your experience is not valid, nor did I ever state that ALL women exhibit this trait.

And I would never suggest that there are not a lot of Men out there who are lazy.

I am not discounting your experience... Not telling you what or how you think... just trying to explain what MEN feel and what we experience.

When you say that your man says he doesn't like to be told how to do something, that leads me to conclude that HIS experience is that it is not enough that he do something... but that he must do it to your schedule or to meet your criteria or in the precise fashion you specify.

That is a control issue.

I appreciate that you want things a certain way... but insisting that your mate do those things in the way you would do them makes you his boss, not his partner... and by the end of his work day... he doesn't want to hear from yet another boss whose demands he can never satisfy.


In the exact same sense than Men used to come home and Expect or Demand the suburban housewife keep an immaculate house and have the food they liked ready at a specific time.... Women rebelled against that kind of treatment as demeaning and belittling.
Did they not?

And the Men who behaved that way ( and those that still do ) were just as guilty of harboring a belief-system that denigrated and dismissed the woman's needs and perspective.

I am not claiming men are immune from critique, nor that they are better... Men and women have both been guilty of treating the opposite gender shabbily.

But it seems to me that it is convenient to argue that men are lazy and unsupportive... and that women have to do it all... when the question being asked is whether women can even entertain the notion that their approach may be part of the problem.

And let me confess right here... men ARE getting worse.


But what do you expect from a crop of men raised by women who honestly believe that men are bad?
Tell boys that men are all lazy fuckarounds and they will live up to that expectation.

It was a struggle to raise two boy in this culture who LIKED women.. and still had a sense of themselves as being of worth.

I give a lot of the credit to my second wife... who likes men, and brought that sense of acceptance to the second half of their youth.


Like you, she also felt that when she was working, that I did not do enough of the housework.
She worked 8 hours a day... commuted for two..

I work from 10 am to midnight or 1:30 every day of the week.

But I worked at something I love to do... and she at something she did not...

When we discussed how this felt inequitable to her... she was able to see that I simply did not have a lot of time to do things around the house...
And, she realized that these things she wanted done were things that were important to HER... I could care less if the bed gets made every day.

What it came down to in our discussion was that the House and it state were really important to her... having a healthy mela for dinner was something she felt strongly about.

More strongly than she did about her job.

So she quit that job.
The result is that she now has the time to handle all the things that matter to her... and I am on the hook for all the money we need to live.

And she is happier that way.

I don't feel that she OUGHT to be bringing in a check... I VALUE the work she does to make our household run.
She values the effort I put in to providing what I am best at providing.


I can readily see that this picture would be complicated if she had a career she loved and wanted to pursue.

But it would still be something she could sit down and discuss with me and she would never dismiss my experinece as being invalid, or deceitful.

For example... lots of men who live for their weekends off, do the yardwork... I hate yardwork...and I make a lot more money than any gardener...

So we hired a gardener.
And I pay for him, by doing the work that is more important to me, and to our family.

Once more...
My contribution, as a man , should count.
 

SpeedoGuy

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The truth is, and every man in a long term relationship with a woman knows this to be true, that most women do not what to hear how we feel... they want to hear us say what they imagine we Ought to feel.

This one took me a long time to learn. Why? I kept naively believing that girlfriends really wanted to hear what I was feeling when they told me I wasn't communicating enough (note that I was automatically defined as "wrong" for choosing the communication style that seemed most appropriate).

So, I began sharing what I was really feeling about things: annoyances at work, angst over my self image, petty physical ailments, etc. I even took care to balance out my griping by also sharing some of the personal joys I occasionally encountered.

Its not hard to guess what eventually happened. I gradually began to be treated like a moody toddler by being subtly patronized, ridiculed and, finally, avoided. More than one girlfriend got a vacant look in her eyes when I dared (as requested) to describe my feelings over dinner.

It didn't go well, even though I was being open and honest. The message I eventually learned was: Its better to be derided as the silent, aloof personality type which, at least, implies strength and confidence no matter what personal insecurities and grief I might actually harbor. Show the world, even well-meaning female partners, your true feelings and you will eventually be sharing alone.

So MOST men learn by the age of 35 to shut the fuck up and just suffer it.

That is not whining. Its just withdrawl.

Most men a lazy enough that they would just as soon get shit on for doing nothing, than shit on for not doing something right... or not doing it with the 'right attitude'

This is one I've also learned over time: The pain of choosing to remain generally aloof and silent is less than the pain that results from the multitude of patronizing pinpricks and barbs that come otherwise.
 

Turbojetx

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"Back in the 50s society in general and men in particular treated women as if they were empty headed ornaments."

I disagree with this. Men with breeding, manners and caring, regardless of era, existed and exist today. It's a give-and-take in every marriage and you work at it everyday.

I do think many men appear "p-whipped" but you must understand that you are looking from the outside in; everyone's marriage is private. You don't know what goes on in the home. I may cave on many issues to keep my wife happy but in the end she knows that I'm the man in the household. I'm in charge in bed. And she loves me deeply and we work together to have a happy life.

There is a line to be drawn though, if you can't feel comfortable in your own home because of a neat-freak then you have to lay down some ground rules. Like "one room is mine and the other person can't say anything about it."
 
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B_625girth

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my wife and I try to compromise on such things as home decor now that I'm retired. I worked a lot of hours for years, and really did not care how the house looked as long as it was clean, and neat. I wasn't there but 10 hours a day, most of that sleeping or fucking her. She always gave me my space, and I gave likewise. I would go out with or without her, and people assumed we were possibly swingers or had a liberal marriage, and then as time went by and my wife stayed home more, people assumed I was abusive and MADE her stay home. Nothing could be further from the truth. The best part of any relationship and the shit thats make it work is TRUST.

we know a couple that work together in the family bus. He can't go anywhere without her. He'll stop in for A beer while out test riding his HD after a tune up. "Don't tell her I stopped for a beer." my response was," does she know you have your dick with you." So pussy whipped, and I'm just the opposite and his wife hates me for it. Thursday night was always "guys night out," she always gave me shit, until I pointed out that she was the only chick out with their husband on "guys night out". the shit stopped, the hatred grew worse. I told her it was about trust. I can't even take her husband fishing, she has to go everywhere.