Men who feel uncomfortable with nudity and seeing other men's junk in locker rooms, Why?

[JayPR]

This discussion is for those straight men who feel uncomfortable seeing or being around other men nude in gym showers, locker rooms, spas, etc.

It puzzles me why some straight men feel awkward at being in front of a nude man. This situation has been featured in movies and TV shows in a comedic way. The man tries his hardest to don't look down there or he complains when his buddy undresses in front of him. I always thought that if you're not attracted to men and are not aroused by men's nudity, then it should be the most ordinary and mundane thing. After all, looking at a dick is like looking at a nose or an ear, just another body part. At least, that is what I thought.

For those who feel uncomfortable, why do you feel that way? What makes you uncomfortable at seeing other guys' dick? What makes you feel like you have to avoid being nude with buddies or other men in casual scenarios?

 

[ronin001]

For those who feel uncomfortable, why do you feel that way? What makes you uncomfortable at seeing other guys' dick? What makes you feel like you have to avoid being nude with buddies or other men in casual scenarios?

I am not a fan of public nudity be it displayed on a man or a woman

I have no discomfort view another mans penis, should the occasion arise
As you stated it is just another body part. I would be uncomfortable viewing another guys erect penis, especially if only we 2 are there

What makes we want to avoid being nude ?? Well welcome to LPSG, please read a few hundred or so postings and get back to me so we can confer .

Cheers

 

[deleted8788711]

I have just recently gone back to a gym. (Planet Fitness). I have to shower after I'm done so I can go on to work. I'm a little embarrassed to get naked in there... most of the guys in there are either retired or students, so they can just go home and shower there. I think some of the guys act like "Oh no. He's getting naked". Others don't care. It's awkward, but not devastating. I just do what I have to do and get out of there.

 

[MrMickleGary]

At my gym, it’s 100% guys under 40 who are shy: They do the towel-dance, turn their backs when they drop their towels, etc., meanwhile, everyone else older starts conversations while in the sauna, shower, steam and whirlpool, all completely naked. Just Monday, “Ben” introduced himself in the steam room and we had a long conversation about when a woman walked into the locker room last month to test the whirlpool water. We were literally 2 of the 3 people in the locker room when she came in, and we had a hilarious conversation about it. Now imagine if everyone is “too shy” and avoids eye contact. Such missed opportunities to get to know other men!

 

[VladtheImpaler]

I have just recently gone back to a gym. (Planet Fitness). I have to shower after I'm done so I can go on to work. I'm a little embarrassed to get naked in there... most of the guys in there are either retired or students, so they can just go home and shower there. I think some of the guys act like "Oh no. He's getting naked". Others don't care. It's awkward, but not devastating. I just do what I have to do and get out of there.

I also belong to Planet Fitness and feel out of place getting naked to get into my gym clothes or getting undressed to get in my street clothes but especially getting undressed to shower. It seems like no one else changes clothes or those that do keep their underwear on

 

[Nemorex]

Yes, usually generational thing. The older guys don’t have a problem. Maybe younger guys watch too much porn and embarrassed because they think 8 inches is the norm?

 

[JayPR]

Yes, usually generational thing. The older guys don’t have a problem. Maybe younger guys watch too much porn and embarrassed because they think 8 inches is the norm?

Yes, I understand feeling exposed while naked or the self-confidence thing. But my question is more about men who feel awkward or uncomfortable seeing a nude man or a buddy's dick. I've seen guys getting nervous or mad because there's a guy naked in the locker room area at the gym, especially if the guy takes his time to dress up.

 

[deleted8788711]

Yes, I understand feeling exposed while naked or the self-confidence thing. But my question is more about men who feel awkward or uncomfortable seeing a nude man or a buddy's dick. I've seen guys getting nervous or mad because there's a guy naked in the locker room area at the gym, especially if the guy takes his time to dress up.

My thoughts on this is that (at least in the US), we grew up in a time where nudity was conflated with sex... and the nation was violently homophobic. If you grew up in a toxic environment, you might learn to be really self-conscious about keeping your eyes straight ahead so as not to be suspected of looking at a penis.

 

[cofrader]

Yes, I understand feeling exposed while naked or the self-confidence thing. But my question is more about men who feel awkward or uncomfortable seeing a nude man or a buddy's dick. I've seen guys getting nervous or mad because there's a guy naked in the locker room area at the gym, especially if the guy takes his time to dress up.

Older people tend to have lower inhibitions, watch out don’t step on grandpa’s balls.
Nudity is necessary to get clean it’s awkward but i guess a result of concentration of people.
People who are there naked for no reason and no grandpas would be noticed as weird.
Humor goal is to be fun not to depict reality, somehow made me remember of constaza

https://imgur.com/7Wqynaz

 

[Sagittarius84]

This discussion is for those straight men who feel uncomfortable seeing or being around other men nude in gym showers, locker rooms, spas, etc.

It puzzles me why some straight men feel awkward at being in front of a nude man. This situation has been featured in movies and TV shows in a comedic way. The man tries his hardest to don't look down there or he complains when his buddy undresses in front of him. I always thought that if you're not attracted to men and are not aroused by men's nudity, then it should be the most ordinary and mundane thing. After all, looking at a dick is like looking at a nose or an ear, just another body part. At least, that is what I thought.

Do you think lesbians also should have such a cavalier attitude towards male nudity?
I think gay men sorely overestimate the contexts of which nudity is commonly experienced by straight men; it typically only exists within a clinical(as in medical) or a sexual construct. Within a modern context, the fact that there are bathroom/shower stalls present in most of these places implies some manner of effort to be amongst other men naked as often as gay men seem to think it is.

For those who feel uncomfortable, why do you feel that way? What makes you uncomfortable at seeing other guys' dick? What makes you feel like you have to avoid being nude with buddies or other men in casual scenarios?

I have the only dick I'd like to see, more accurately, being that nudity exists as a primarily sexual construct within my life, I don't have the desire to see or even be amongst the nudity of anyone, male or female that I am not sexually attracted to.
You're asking vegetarians why they may be particularly averse to steakhouses when they don't even want meat, and there are plenty of salads on the menu.

Part of how OP is worded sort of feeds into my, and I imagine other straight men's, reluctance to be nude, or amongst nude men. If it's not such a big deal either way, why in particular do you, and so many other gay men seem intent on pressing the issue. It implies a satisfaction derived from having non gay men see your genitalia, or your ability to see what they're working with.....to what end? If it's such a benign thing shouldn't it not matter either way? The fact it is often brought up by gay men tells me it does and straight men's instincts about those situations aren't entirely inaccurate.

 

[MrTMT]

My thoughts on this is that (at least in the US), we grew up in a time where nudity was conflated with sex... and the nation was violently homophobic. If you grew up in a toxic environment, you might learn to be really self-conscious about keeping your eyes straight ahead so as not to be suspected of looking at a penis.

I second on this, I think it, mostly, is a learned behavior and cultural thing. I noticed this in many different gym locker settings, where a small number of guys are like this. Also, I've noticed majority of European guys here in the US seemed to be more comfortable in this type of settings.

 

[JayPR]

Do you think lesbians also should have such a cavalier attitude towards male nudity?
I think gay men sorely overestimate the contexts of which nudity is commonly experienced by straight men; it typically only exists within a clinical(as in medical) or a sexual construct. Within a modern context, the fact that there are bathroom/shower stalls present in most of these places implies some manner of effort to be amongst other men naked as often as gay men seem to think it is.

I have the only dick I'd like to see, more accurately, being that nudity exists as a primarily sexual construct within my life, I don't have the desire to see or even be amongst the nudity of anyone, male or female that I am not sexually attracted to.
You're asking vegetarians why they may be particularly averse to steakhouses when they don't even want meat, and there are plenty of salads on the menu.

Part of how OP is worded sort of feeds into my, and I imagine other straight men's, reluctance to be nude, or amongst nude men. If it's not such a big deal either way, why in particular do you, and so many other gay men seem intent on pressing the issue. It implies a satisfaction derived from having non gay men see your genitalia, or your ability to see what they're working with.....to what end? If it's such a benign thing shouldn't it not matter either way? The fact it is often brought up by gay men tells me it does and straight men's instincts about those situations aren't entirely inaccurate.

First I am a man, then I am gay. As a man, I grew up in a time and culture where nudity was considered non-sexual. I was in sports, I lived with roommates in dorms, and in all those scenarios I never saw nakedness among peers as sexual. I posted this question because now, living in the US, whenever I am in gyms, sports, or withing friends, teammates, or coworkers, there's this awkwardness that I never experienced growing up. Sometimes I feel weird or inadequate being the one that undresses without shame. Some people in those spaces make you feel like you need to cover up just because they may feel uncomfortable, in a locker room where nudity is expected. I posted the question because I wanted to understand guys who think this way. I wanted to understand what has changed.

 

[deleted8788711]

---

First I am a man, then I am gay. As a man, I grew up in a time and culture where nudity was considered non-sexual. I was in sports, I lived with roommates in dorms, and in all those scenarios I never saw nakedness among peers as sexual. I posted this question because now, living in the US, whenever I am in gyms, sports, or withing friends, teammates, or coworkers, there's this awkwardness that I never experienced growing up. Sometimes I feel weird or inadequate being the one that undresses without shame. Some people in those spaces make you feel like you need to cover up just because they may feel uncomfortable, in a locker room where nudity is expected. I posted the question because I wanted to understand guys who think this way. I wanted to understand what has changed.

The US has a weird culture with relation to nudity and sex, to some degree.

 

[justahornyguy174]

I do feel a bit awkward as I've not had much experience of being naked in front of other people when it wasn't a sexual situation, so I guess I do subconsciously make it sexual. I do quite like the feeling of being exposed and people seeing my cock, and I get a thought of getting an embarrassing erection, this in turn makes it get a bit big, so even though I have no interest in men I do enjoy showering and having my big dick flop around for everyone to see

 

[deleted8788711]

First I am a man, then I am gay. As a man, I grew up in a time and culture where nudity was considered non-sexual. I was in sports, I lived with roommates in dorms, and in all those scenarios I never saw nakedness among peers as sexual. I posted this question because now, living in the US, whenever I am in gyms, sports, or withing friends, teammates, or coworkers, there's this awkwardness that I never experienced growing up. Sometimes I feel weird or inadequate being the one that undresses without shame. Some people in those spaces make you feel like you need to cover up just because they may feel uncomfortable, in a locker room where nudity is expected. I posted the question because I wanted to understand guys who think this way. I wanted to understand what has changed.

Today at the gym, for instance: I stripped down and then wrapped my towel around me and walked to the shower. Naked for maybe 20 seconds. No big deal.
The guy to the right of me came out of the shower with his towel around him, put on his underwear with his towel still wrapped around him, and then pulled on his pants. Never nude.
A teenager wore his athletic shorts to the shower, and took them off behind the curtain before showering. Never nude.
I don't think anybody looked at me for the brief time I was exposed, so I wonder what the big deal is.

 

[Sagittarius84]

Interesting

I don't deny homophobia is a thing, and Americans do have some puritanical shame issues to get over, but I don't think modesty and privacy are negative motivations inherently....especially as we tend to have different ideas as to what is acceptable for our consumption, or our exposure that flies a bit more freely outside of our shores.

 

[MrMickleGary]

I don't deny homophobia is a thing, and Americans do have some puritanical shame issues to get over, but I don't think modesty and privacy are negative motivations inherently....especially as we tend to have different ideas as to what is acceptable for our consumption, or our exposure that flies a bit more freely outside of our shores.

We are the youngest developed country on the planet and behave immaturely in so many different ways. We have a lot to grow towards.

 

[deleted8788711]

We are the youngest developed country on the planet and behave immaturely in so many different ways. We have a lot to grow towards.

We had guys like Hugh Heffner and Larry Flynt selling skin to us in dirty magazines. America commodified sex in the 60's and 70's. Nudity was used to sell movies, music, and all sorts of products in a sexually provocative way. Add to that the numerous sex abuse scandals we've suffered here. I would agree it might be immature in some cases, but I also think we have a national sickness when it comes to the human body, sex and sexuality.

 

[MrMickleGary]

We had guys like Hugh Heffner and Larry Flynt selling skin to us in dirty magazines. America commodified sex in the 60's and 70's. Nudity was used to sell movies, music, and all sorts of products in a sexually provocative way. Add to that the numerous sex abuse scandals we've suffered here. I would agree it might be immature in some cases, but I also think we have a national sickness when it comes to the human body, sex and sexuality.

Exactly: America turned nudity and being totally fine with it into “smut”; all in the name of making money.

Sad but true that capitalism can literally ruin anything pure and simple and basically human.

 

[Jjdov27_2]

I have a contrarian view here.

I don’t think capitalism or religion is to “blame” or “credit” for these sorts of variations. In my experience, doing so is often folks attaching new “sins” onto concepts they already don’t like.

“just another thing capitalism ruined.”

i tend to view this issues more broadly. After all, European countries tend to have very liberal views of nudity, are capitalistic, and have a “smut” culture in line with Penthouse as well.

I remember a college professor in my film studies class talking about cultural variations of modesty by describing a visit to Japan. In the video stores, which included pornographic vids, nudity was shown freely——but little stickers had been applied to all the images with public hair to cover it. Public hair was considered taboo enough to cover, but not breasts and butts and genitals. Now, that was his illustration. It may or may not be accurate broadly. But I always remembered it as an example that social taboos are cultural and very specific. Not tied so tightly to religious or economic histories as we light think.

the fact is that pubic single sex nudity was FAR more acceptable in the so call puritanical past of the US. The 50s and before. During times when we’re told everyone was a prude and everyone was sexually repressed. This is clearly evident in the nude swimming and common open room showering that many here lament as lost “comfort with our own bodies.” But the US was deeply religious and capitalistic back then. So how can this be?

in my opinion, the broad sexualization of our culture is what lead to the changing of these taboos. In a culture where everything is sexualized—from art to marketing to politics—is it any wonder that younger men would view getting naked in a common male space as potentially sexual? Or at least feel uncomfortable enough to choose modesty?

is it homophobic for a man to choose to not participate in group nudity because they think others would view him as a sex object in those settings? The fact that so many complain about their decision to choose modesty in forums like this pretty much answers that question for me.

perhaps society would be better if everyone felt free to be nude and not worry. Maybe modesty in general or modesty in single sex environments is dumb and counter productive.or perhaps a society’s current collective views on modesty are reactions to their recent past (repression leading to periods of less modesty, hyper sexualization leading to periods of more modesty.)

I’d just encourage everyone to think about it outside of broad abstractions like capitalism or religious Puritanism or homophobia. In the end, the best explanation in my mind is that “the demand among members of LPSG for attractive men who get nude in semi public areas far exceeds the supply.”

…. Actually, I guess that’s what a capitalist WOULD say……. LOL.