Men's Fitness Telephone Survey

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by D_Martin van Burden, Feb 25, 2004.

  1. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    A gentleman from "Men's Fitness" magazine gave me a call this morning for a random survey about penis size and related topics. I couldn't help but chuckle, and I said I would answer his questions.

    He asked about my soft and hard penis size, my race, my amount of ejaculation, and if I ever stimulated my anus while masturbating or ate my semen after ejaculation. The guy tried to be professional about these questions, but he sounded just as uncomfortable about asking these questions as I did about answering the last two. (I answered "No." to both, by the way.)

    He did break a rule of survey delivery over the phone, though. If you give a telephone survey, you should never imply acknowledgment, acceptance, or approval of someone's answers. When I told him the soft and hard dimensions of my penis size, he gave an approving "Niiiiiiiiiice." ;D

    Who knows? If Men's Fitness contacts enough of us bigger-than-thou dick dudes, we might screw up the national average! Haha.
     
  2. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    WTG, Dee. It's nice to know that LPSG'ers will be 'well' represented in the survey. :D

    Pecker

    I thought about taking up snowboarding but then I figured I'd save a lot of money and just run my ass slam into a tree in the front yard.
     
  3. Imported

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    Tender: [quote author=DeeBlackthorne link=board=99;num=1077726394;start=0#0 date=02/25/04 at 08:17:33]couldn't help but chuckle, and I said I would answer his questions.  

    [/quote]


    hmm. I'm thinking, you might not be able to look your class mates in the eye tomarrow.
    maybe it was a prank?
    Was it him, or him?, no maybe him?
    :eek:

    Tender
     
  4. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Hard to imagine it was a classmate -- after all, I'm in a family therapy program and I'm one of two guys in our three-year cohort thus far. I don't think my professors are that brave.

    I'll just keep an eye out on the next couple of Men's Fitness issues to see if I'm part of their survey results. And if not, hey, whoever that guy was, he got his rocks off and I don't care.
     
  5. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Ooooooh! Interesting news!

    Ok, so maybe a few of you had read about this interesting "survey" in which I was solicited for various pieces of sexually-related information. You know -- penis size, age, how much I spooge, and so on.

    I get a call this afternoon -- and guess who? It was the Men's Fitness guy again. When he introduced himself, it sounded like the exact same guy who called a couple of months ago. Perhaps he kept shoddy records, but I wondered why he was calling again when I had already been through his questionnaire.

    This time around, I told him that the survey he was administering sounded familiar, and that I had already been through these questions. I re-volunteered my answers.

    I asked him for some more information about this survey. Allegedly, "Men's Fitness" is interested in presenting personal information abouot men's sexual habits and anatomy because women have shown an increased demand for it. The interviewer compared the affect to something beyond "Cosmo," meaning that the magazine wants to provide hard and fast factual statistics and to spare no feelings in talking about men's experiences. The presentation will cover a number of topics including size, bodies, sexual practices, and such.

    He also claimed that women have been more sexually interested in hearing about men's stories about each other.

    I asked how he felt as an interviewer delivering these sorts of questions, knowing that they're personal. He admitted that it was tough to ask and that he clearly understood some questions made guys uncomfortable. On the other hand, he enjoyed asking them and was curious about how guys respond.

    Anyway, on to the good part...

    Instead of feeling appalled and threatening to seek further action on this, I decided to play along for a while. ;D I asked some pertinent information and I think he fell into some of my traps. Here's what I mean.

    1. Where are you calling from? He said that he was calling from a Men's Fitness office in Austin, TX. (Can any Texans confirm this?)

    2. Are you performing this survey in a call center? I thought it was strange that he was in a personal office making these calls. I can appreciate his "confidentiality" response -- at the same time, surveys like these are more efficiently performed in call centers. You can maximize confidentiality by leaning into your cubicle, sticking to the script, and letting the respondent lead in what they wish to tell you.

    3. Though he claimed the survey would take even less time because he had contacted me before, the survey took nearly 45 minutes to complete. He said that he had a few more calls to me, but as the conversation went on, he said that he had a few more minutes, a few more minutes...

    4. A doozy: Hey, is your supervisor there? He said that there's a supervisor on the premises Monday thru Friday. And he's allowed to make these calls on the weekends?

    Ok, so he told me enough there to merit some serious reporting...

    But no, this evil bastard had to take it a notch further. I turned the questions around on here and pumped him for some vital information, which he seemed eager to volunteer. Allegedly, I spent about 30 minutes talking to a 26-year-old, heterosexual but bi-curious guy named "John," who, according to his weight and height, might be a jock type (6'2", 190 pounds). "John" is currently single and reports having had some comparison encounters in the gym, as well as some limited experimentation with other guys (j/o, oral). "John" was also very aroused in the interview; he would often ask me if I were hard, if I had some precum, and so forth. Upon request, he hit his hardon up against the phone and rubbed his precum audibly into his shaft.

    In due fairness, John's voice sounded way too husky and raspy to be 26. I would have pegged him in the mid-30s.

    He clearly indicated his arousal throughout the entire interview -- and simply because I could do it (guess my responses turned him on), he masturbated over the phone to ejaculation. I could have easily got up to the point of release (or feigned it anyway) and hung up, but I didn't. As for me, though I happened to have a morning wood, I didn't jack on my end of the line.

    The strange part is, after he spooged, he said that he could (read: would) call again to let me know when the results were going to be published on newsstands. He said that the phone call was really fun.

    Anyhow... this is some serious stuff. I'm going to get in touch with "Men's Fitness" and let them know. I doubt anything could happen to this "John" characer, but we'll see. I'll keep you all posted.
     
  6. Imported

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    okiejustin: i'd lay down alot of money that this guy is a secret admirer and you'd know him if you saw him. ;-) magazines don't do surveys that personal.
     
  7. Imported

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    tsctsc: I agree with OkieJ, Dee. It sounds like you have an admirer. Maybe it's time to get caller id on your phone so you can see where the call's coming from.
    I'd definitely let Men's Fitness know there is a serial phone interviewer/phone sex guy representing himself as working for them.
    good luck!
     
  8. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    Called again. My cell phone has caller ID and the number came up as "Unknown." S'alright, though. He played it cool on the phone, but I told him that I had written up a quick note to Men's Fitness -- asking them which issue will feature this size survey, say whaaaaaaaaat?! -- and hopefully they'll get in touch soon.

    I had this insane vision of this weirdo actually making it to Lexington to verify my size and such with me. I would meet him in a public setting and expose him with the police as an escort -- you know, after I filled them in on this guy. I don't think that would happen; as entertaining as it sounds, I wouldn't go through with it. In any case, maybe he'll take the hint and stop calling. (If he doesn't, I'll be more direct next time.)
     
  9. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    Well, you're better on the phone than I am.

    Anyone call me and ask for my dick size is getting a ton of muffled shouts!
     
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