Menstruation - don't read this if you're a lilly-livered goit!

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by ManlyBanisters, Dec 3, 2009.

  1. ManlyBanisters

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    I'm 36 years old, I've been having periods for 21 years and 5 months so WHY THE FUCK does the start of my period ALWAYS catch me unawares???

    Well maybe not always, but damn near!

    I don't even have the excuse of not being regular.

    But here's the thing - if I'm going to be early or late, I get grumblings and I kinda know, but I can't stand pantie liners, so I'm back and forth to the bathroom every 30 mins... nothing happening, I give up checking... several hours later I pick up a child or a dog SPLUT!! - mess. Bastard!

    When I'm on time it's worse because it just starts with no grumblings at all. Today, for example, I was walking the dogs - middle of nowhere, 3k from the car, I coughed SPLUT!! - mess. Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. Absolutely nothing I could do except get back to the car asap without coughing again and hope the store where I bought those cute elephant pattern boxer briefs still sells them because I really likeD them! :rolleyes:

    So yeah, I hear you - wear a pantie liner, you dumb bitch. Well - I do that sometimes - but I hate them. They suffocate my poor cunt. I feel like I have a fucking cheese slice clinging to me when I wear one. They are foul things. So I wear them for a while but nothing happens - so I get sick of the fucking things, don't bother putting a new one on and then SPLUT!! - mess. Bastard! Cunt! Wank! Fucksticks!!

    Am I the only sad sack this happens to?
     
  2. D_Ivana Dickenside

    D_Ivana Dickenside New Member

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    this happens to me all the time! i've gone through so many stained panties when my period suddenly starts while i'm out in public and nowhere near a restroom. the worst is when i'm coughing or sneezing, and then kaput! the blood seeps out and i'm kicking myself in the ass for not taking better precautions with panty liners. but i agree with you when you say they feel like fucking diapers, which is why i don't wear them.
     
  3. Patchos

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    Yay 21 years here too!

    Yes, I still fucking do this - I know it's coming but I hardly ever prepare. Usually it's the first cramps that tip me off and I go to the bathroom to take a look. If i'm lucky, I wake up with it and then it doesn't matter so much cause I can just shower, etc. Many times though it's been when i'm out and then I usually have to take off my underwear and go commando until I get home.

    Sometimes when I'm in the middle of my period, I carry a spare pair of knickers with me cause I have a heavy flow and there have been times where i've leaked from not changing tampons often enough. It's a fucking nuisance!

    I also tend to under estimate when my period has actually finished. When it's almost over, I forget to put a new tampon or pad and I make a bloody mess in my knickers or stain the bed sheets.

    And can I just mention how putrid a used tampon smells??? Good lord!

    I fucking hate dealing with periods.
     
  4. ManlyBanisters

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    Well thank fuck for that!!

    I love you messy bitches :biggrin::hug:

    I never seem to start overnight - I almost wish I would because the few times I have it hasn't made a mess - I only discover it when I go to the loo. I think this is, in part, the position I sleep in and also the fact I have full labia and they act as a natural dam when I am lying down.

    I get the end of period thing, too. There's not enough flow to really warrant a tampon (plus pulling out a dry tampon is uncomfortable and potentially dangerous) but there's too much going on to be 'safe' without a panty liner. My trick is to wear a mini tampon for the 8 hours that is the recommended max and then bring my self to orgasm with clit stim before removing it. That way I'm lubed and little bits of cotton will not get left behind if the thing is dry. (Any excuse for a wank, eh? :smile:)
     
  5. dolfette

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    we are not alone.
     
  6. kit_kat

    kit_kat New Member

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    I hate periods and everything to do with them. I get those "grumblings" for like a day or two and then I put in a mini-tampon each day, then the cramps stop and I don't know whether to stop wearing the tampons and wait and then like a day or two later whammo. I'm often regular but not always so it's soooo annoying. I thought about going on the pill but I read that the pill can mess up some people's sex drive and sometimes even permanently so I am not going anywhere near the pill. Periods are so annoying, I guess it's one reason not to get mad about menopause.
     
  7. dolfette

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    my periods like to dake a couple of days off, right in the middle, just to trick me into ruining more underwear.
     
  8. D_Ellerby Eatsprick

    D_Ellerby Eatsprick New Member

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    Been having periods for 16 years now. Always caught unaware and off guard. I get pretty wet down there (as extra pussy juice - my own personal KY lubricant :p) for 1-2 weeks, then BAM ! Blood comes at some point. I can never tell if it's just being extra wet or blood until I go to the bathroom and find out. For this reason, I have stopped buying white panties. Last month, I was caught off guard and had no tampons on me. So I had to walk 1/2 hour to the closest drug store to get tampons and back to work.

    Sometimes I get PMS symptoms which lets me know I'm closing in and other times, I cruise right by fine until my period come. Though lately, the last 4 periods, my symptoms have been very emotional - more so than usual...a lot of crying, lack of patience, and grumblings over things I normally would not be grumbling over.

    I have to admit, that as soon as I find out I have my period, I am happy. For one, it means I'm not pregnant. And it means I can feel a bit more normal and think "Whew."

    And you guys will call me a bitch for this one - but I only get my period for 2 to 2.5 days. I'll bleed heavy for close to 1.5 days then stop for half day or such, then I get the "end" of the period thing where it's just enough to wear the lightest tampon.
     
    #8 D_Ellerby Eatsprick, Dec 3, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2009
  9. TurkeyWithaSunburn

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    Blood!
    Menstruation!

    *faint*

    Ohhhhhhh so THAT is what a pantyliner is for..... :redface:
    It's to use when you're near the time and to try and avoid the "FUCK why did I wear white" moments.​

    totally off-topic but I always heard men faint more often then men in medschool when first learning to draw blood, women are used to blood more the males​
     
  10. btrthanavrgejo

    btrthanavrgejo New Member

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    My periods are AWFUL!! I usually know when they're coming cos the cramps start straight away. The pain is so bad that I usually do the poor female thing and curl up in bed but there is a reason for this which my dr gave me, apparently I have endometriosis, does anyone know anything about this or have any experience of it?
     
  11. AlteredEgo

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    ManlyBanisters,

    Two things: First, Natures Miracle. Eliminates any trace of dog pee, or blood from damn near any fabric or surface. Never toss bloodied panties again.

    Second, if you're always roughly regular, why can't you just suck it up for one day or two, and wear a liner or a pad?

    This just seems like kind of a bullshit problem with obvious solutions, which is surprising, coming from you.
     
  12. dolfette

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    i'm allergic to liners and pads.
    they're eeeeevil.
    i bet they increase the risk of thrush too, because they don't breathe.
    itchy, sweaty and grim.

    these issues only seem bullshit because you don't have them.

    life sucked before i discovered divacup.
     
  13. AlteredEgo

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    She didn't post that she's allergic. She posted that she doesn't like them, which is a bunch of malarky. Even for you there are solutions. I've used InStead menstrual cups on and off for a few years now, and quite like them. I started using them after following a link in a thread here, actually. Whatever ManlyBanister's usual method of catching the blood may be, why isn't she simply employing this method around the time when she knows she's due to spring a leak? It's a lame problem as it's presented, and easily solved. I only even remarked because this particular poster is uncommonly sensible most of the time, and not usually given over to bellyaching. It's strange.
     
    #13 AlteredEgo, Dec 3, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2009
  14. Opalite

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    Divacup?

    I used to be caught off guard when I was younger, but eversince I've been on the pill my periods hardly ever last longer than (don't shoot me) 1 or 2 days, and the flow is very minimal. So minimal at first even, that even if it catches me off guard, my panties stay white. The last ''SPLUT''-moment I had was when I was about 12 years old. I'm the luckiest bitch in the world.

    I do agree pantyliners are the devil. I wore one once as a kid, and promiced my poor cunt only the finest tampons for the rest of her life. That stuff's faul.
     
  15. dolfette

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    no, but she posted that she found them uncomfortable.
    nothing irks like an irritated vag. all day. several days in a row.
    i can't wear thongs for just that reason. they drive me nuts. i'd spend all day squirming and unable to concentrate.

    not everyone gets on with cups.

    if she uses tampons then it's dangerous to use them when you're not on. here they have warnings on the in-box leaflet telling you not to, that it may increase the risk of toxic shock.

    are you sure you don't have pmt? :tongue:
     
  16. Empathizer

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    I'm using the reusable DivaCup now. It is yucky to clean, but it actually works. I know we're not supposed to, but I leave it in for about 1/2 a week, washing it once a day, before my period is supposed to start. It helps a lot, seeing as how I have heavy flow, the SPLUT! problem, and serious, actual-clinical-level-paranoia-inducing PMDD, so I need another fucking menstruation-related issue to deal with like I need a surprise nipple piercing. Actually, if you could take away the PMDD, and make it just PMS, I would totally take a surprise nipple piercing a month in trade. I've had my nipple pierced before (took it out. Not worth the bother. Thankfully didn't wreck my sensitivity. Did it to help a pal in med school and piercing school pass his Bod Mod finals/State Certification Test.) and it's highly preferable to having to make sheepish apologies to people I know I've bitched out waaay too harshly and perhaps totally undeservedly.
     
  17. AlteredEgo

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    I do, but not at the moment. Are you planning to send me chocolates and crackers?

    I haven't ovulated in months. I haven't known when my period would hit in years, and I've been menstruating on and off since 1991.

    I don't like liners either. They don't fit, don't stay put, often have some ridiculous fragrance on them, and can't catch worth a damn'. I can't use cups in advance because doing so seems to trigger intense cramping. What I actually do when I suspect my period is coming, is to sit on a delivery pad my mother nicked from a hospital years ago. It washes easily, and I don't have to wear underwear.

    When I was in high school, and my pads came out of my limited allowance, I never wore one until it was fully showtime. They were too expensive to have to throw away empty. Instead, I used a cloth diaper, folded it up to fit, tucked into my panties, and wore baggy jeans or sweats. If it got soiled in public, I tossed it or wore it home. If it got soiled at home, I washed it.

    I'm all grown up and don't have a $25/week allowance anymore, so I usually just put on a pad when I go out and suspect trouble, and always keep pads and 'pons in my purse since I really have never had any fucking clue when the cycle would start. I have sometimes forgotten to stock my supplies and been caught wanting, but saved the day by wrapping the crotch of my panties with toilet paper. This works amazingly well. I've always been surprised just how well.

    This was the first Thanksgiving Day since I was 11 that my uterus has not betrayed me. I bled a week early, but I felt it coming, and had over two weeks of PMS as a warning. I wore pads (in Miami for chrissakes) for three days waiting for the flood. I guess I prefer mild discomfort to laundry. To each her own.
     
    #17 AlteredEgo, Dec 3, 2009
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2009
  18. ManlyBanisters

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    Divacup some of you say, eh? I shall have to look into that. I recall dolfie mentioning them before and meant to ask at the pharmacy but forgot.

    Not seen it on the shelves in France - but thanks.

    My first reaction is 'go fuck yourself' - you seem to be taking my OP FAR too serioulsy and therefore going and fucking yourself maybe the best option, it might set you right.

    You also seem to be having reading comprehension issues - I do wear a pantyliner when I feel I'm due and I almost NEVER start when I'm wearing them. This commonly known as Sod's Law. I get sick of the suffocated itchy cunt feeling and ditch the liner only to have my period start.

    If you are really suggesting that I wear a tampon for the 1 to 4 days before my period starts I'm going to have to suggest you go read some basic info about toxic shock syndrome. Small enough risk but I'm not scraping dry tampons out of my cunt for up to 4 days in order to save a little knicker fabric. Fuck that shit.
     
  19. dolfette

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    i'll send you chocolates if you send me a heat pad.

    it ain't fun being a woman!
     
  20. dolfette

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    it's a bit grim having to fish them out and rinse them.
    if you don't have a wash basin right next to your toilet then you'll find it too much faffing.
    but they're eco friendly, save you a fortune in the long term and have no known link to toxic shock.
     
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