A man arrives at the Pearly Gates seeking admission. Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked. "Well! I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of high-testosterone bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground." I yelled, "Now, back off biker boy or you'll answer to me!" St. Peter was very impressed! "When did this happen?" "About five minutes ago."