I am constantly in them. My first ever GF broke up with me about 2 weeks ago after almost a year. I am distraught. The more time that passes the more I feel I loved her. She definitely loved me, but apparently fell out of love because I made it so difficult for her by not showing the right affection and just picking her love apart. At the end when I tried to get her back, all she could say is, "you'll find someone else you feel that way about..." I realize I have been a lonely person and took it for granted when she came in my life. I didn't know what she meant to me. Ultimately I scared her away. It seems like it was all a dream that is turning into a nightmare. I was sleepless for quite a while. Recently sleep started returning and I got a job. First taxable income in a while. I want to tell her all these things, but then last night happened. I got drunk at a friends house. I got in a jacuzzi with 4 or 5 friends. Everyone went inside leaving me and this mutual friend in the jacuzzi alone. This girl was a virgin until recently and is currently making up for lost time. After little talk about being single, we made out. Later she took me home, and we made out more. We had barely penetrative sex. I was not feeling it 100 percent, but kept pushing foward anyway. It was mostly foreplay. I still have strong feelings for my ex, and that probably hurt my performance. TBH, I always have some struggle, but last night it really wasn't happening. I feel really guilty about last night. I can't talk to my ex for obvious reasons. I can't talk to my friends. They are all friends with this girl I hooked up with, and she said this HAS to stay between her and me. I don't want this getting back to my ex as it would hurt her, and in the back of my head I still hope I could get back with her, even though I know I couldn't keep this a secret and it would ultimately ruin any possibility of us working things out down the line. In reality...all signs point to my relationship being over. How do people who have more experience with this type of stuff deal with this? Anyone had a similar situation and worked it out with their ex? Do things ever get worked out?