Met through Gay iPhone app :/

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by 7"24, Oct 23, 2011.

  1. 7"24

    7"24 Member

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    Hey guys my boyfriend and I met through a gay iPhone app. When we were chillin the other day I saw that he redownloaded the app. He knows I saw and he deleted it, so I asked him about it. He said he didn't know why he redownloaded it and he had no reason to cheat on me. I let it go. Then last night I downloaded to look for him because I know what his profile looks like, I'm 99% sure I found his profile and he was online I said "looks like you redownloaded the app ;)" and haven't talked to him since. I refuse to be cheated on what should I say to him to stand my ground and basically tell him I'm done if he's going to look for other guys on there. I'm especially concerned because his parents are split up because of cheating I'm worried he will cheat.
     
  2. Milkdud

    Milkdud Member

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    Well you should trust him until he does cheat, if you cant trust him then you cant have a relationship to begin with.
     
  3. D_Baron_VonBiggNutz

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    Just putting this out there, but is him being on a gay app on his iPhone much different to you being on here showing your dick?

    Sure, you're not necessarily, or at all, looking for fun; so the same could be said for him too (as I'm pretty sure he won't have pics on that app to the same degree you have on here - knowing what Apple's app policy is like).
     
  4. mtc123

    mtc123 New Member

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    Wouldn't worry about it too much.

    But (and I don't mean to be bitchy here) I notice you still have your cock pics up on your profile. Perhaps he's seen them too and thinks it's just as harmless as still having his (Grindr?) installed.

    Think you two need to have an honest chat.
     
  5. ericbythebay

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    What does an app have to do with cheating? Maybe he has friends he chat's with via the app.
     
  6. 7"24

    7"24 Member

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    I agree, I overreacted a little bit we live 30 minutes from each other and don't see each other but a couple times a week. We met on the same app, and we joked about how there wasn't much out there and cool it was we met. Plus we are 100% exclusive. I havent though about my pics because I don't reveal my identity and im not checking out other cocks. I'll remove them eventually no one knows I'm on here. A hookup app is basically looking for some one else.
     
  7. bimetaldude

    bimetaldude Member

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    good luck to you. been reading your threads and posts. i am in my first guy relationship too and have trust issues and you have to be open with the other person about it. just have to ask him and then trust him, unless you find out for sure he is cheating.
     
  8. Countryguy63

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    Be very careful that you don't ruin something good over something trivial.

    I've been with my guy for almost 2 years. We met here. We have pretty much a monogamous relationship (have played with another couple once). We both still have our accounts and neither of us have any plans of leaving here or taking down our galleries. We haven't for a while, but we still show on chat cam here.

    I had an adam4adam account and another one (that honestly, I can't even recall what it was called), prior to us getting together. I didn't delete any of them, and still check a4a and even m4m on craigslist. Why, for the same reason I first came here...to look at pics. I didn't suddenly think cock pics were'nt sexy just because I found the best one for myself :wink:.

    I personally think it's over-doing it saying that you no longer look at cock pics and are even considering taking your own pics down from here. What is better, so much less stressful, and can even be fun, is to look and enjoy these things together. Does he know that you are part of our community here? If not, tell him and even get him to join. :biggrin1: There are several couples here.

    If he's cheating, that's one thing that you have every right to find unacceptable. If he's just looking at others, you need to decide if that's something that's worth ending the relationship over :confused:

    Good Luck
     
  9. Otep

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    I have Grindr on my phone and my boyfriend knows about it. I find it entertaining to see who's nearby especially because I don't get to interact with gay people other than my boyfriend. I certainly don't use it to cheat on him and I don't even chat with people. I only look at profiles and I don't really see the harm in that.
     
  10. bimetaldude

    bimetaldude Member

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    Same with my bf and i. we have adam4adam accounts. but I talk to him all the time and trust him 100%
     
  11. Bbucko

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    It all comes down to trust. If you're in a semi-long-distance relationship with someone whom you don't trust explicitly, you're in for a terminal case of the jealousies.

    You two need to figure out how to work this out.
     
  12. 7"24

    7"24 Member

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    Ya thats why it's tough distance and we have only known each other for a month and a few days. Plus he's 18 I'm 24. So that dwells on my mind sometimes. I'm also worried he'll stop liking me.
     
  13. Countryguy63

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    Ya know, as bad as it sounds, IF he's going to stop liking you, him not having any accounts is not going to stop it. You have to trust that he likes you enough not to do anything to jeapordize the relationahip.

    Good Luck :smile:
     
  14. Bbucko

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    A month and a few days is a very short period of time for you to have bonded so deeply with him, especially when you're not seeing him every day. At 18, he may be feeling pressured into something that's over his head (and may not understand it as such).

    Again: keep communication very open, and watch for signs that he may be feeling stressed. He's so new to this that he might not really understand why he's stressed or why you're having trust issues with him.

    Good luck.
     
  15. Phil Ayesho

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    One way to be sure he stops liking you is to become an insecure nag who demands the right to control his actions.

    When folks start smothering their significant others, those others, not knowing how much worse it might get, start looking for a fire escape.

    You have an insecurity, but surveilling your BF is not going to make you feel any better. When we search for reasons to doubt, to suspect, we can always find them.

    Try growing up a little and understanding that only one of two things is going to happen:

    Either you will grow closer, and more trusting of each other, and be together.

    Or one or both of you will drift away or lose interest or meet someone you want to be with more.

    That is it. Just two options that are ALWAYS present in EVERY relationship. No matter how long you are together, it might yet end.

    So relax... why are you together at all in the first place? Is it not to enjoy one another, accept one another and support one another?

    If you want it to last, then focus on those aspects... make sure you enjoy that time together and do not throw it away with ill feeling, suspicions and demands.

    That is the one path that is most likely to keep you happy with each other.

    And do not borrow trouble by imagining and suffering over something that has not happened yet, and may not.

    If you focus on acceptance and loving, if you know you made the most of every hour together... then if it ever comes to an end, you can walk away clean, knowing you did your best and that that time was not wasted.

    Everything is evanescent. If you lived with this guy for 65 years to come... he still would be taken from you thru death; his, or your own.

    Forget about insecurity and jealousy. If he ever opts to leave, or you decide you can not be with him... THAT will be the time for righteous heartache.
     
  16. meschka

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    Ur both gay one will cheat on the other it's a fact
     
  17. Otep

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    I hope that's a joke and if it's not then it's both stupid and outdated.
     
  18. bimetaldude

    bimetaldude Member

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    ditto. i am shocked my guy is still there. i freaked on him several timesi
     
  19. aninnymouse

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    Ur a cunt. And a cynical fool who probably still lives in his mother's basement and has certainly never had a real relationship.
     
  20. Phil Ayesho

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    Just the same... his prejudice is valid. Gay relationships among men in their 20s are notoriously unstable.
    At the peak of their attractiveness, and peak of their sex drive, it is not uncommon for gay men in this age group to want to sew a lot of wild oats.

    Although straight men in this age group are also infamous for their reluctance to commit long term... the percentage of the gay population wanting to have many partners is somewhat higher than the straight population.

    But whether straight or gay, the likelihood that any relationship between people in their early 20s or late teens will last more than a few years is very low.
     
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