Military urinalysis

wofg

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do math in your head. the brain can't process two thoughts at once. you will find yourself peeing in no time, under any circumstances, without even thinking about it.

it's hard and you need to train yourself, but the brain CAN process more than one thought at a time. it just needs to be exercised.
 

dcsurvivor92

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If I could look at cock all day, I'd volunteer for the job. Not the same as being a doctor. With a doctor, it's very clinical and they do other testing so you kind of turn the whole thing off, in your mind. But to make sure they whip it out and piss in a cup? I volunteer for front line duty, sir.....
 

aninnymouse

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If I could look at cock all day, I'd volunteer for the job. Not the same as being a doctor. With a doctor, it's very clinical and they do other testing so you kind of turn the whole thing off, in your mind. But to make sure they whip it out and piss in a cup? I volunteer for front line duty, sir.....

Trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be. Too many dudes can't stand another guy looking at their junk. They do everything possible so you can't see their cock. I've had guys ask me "do you really have to watch?"

And then there's dealing with the specimens. Trust me, Piss is disgusting.
 

RideRocket

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A guy I work with used to be in the military and complained how he once had a female observer that made him feel uncomfortable. He said they had to stand behind a white line to loss. I commented that the black line was probably a foot farther back.


I'm a former USAF officer, unit commander, and squadron commander. I've seen these done more times than I can count. As a result, I can assure you that there is no way on God's green earth that an 'observer' would be the opposite sex. No way. Ever. So... this guy was telling you a story to amuse you and it was at least memorable, but it wasn't true.


I'm still in the military and what Flexxx said is total horseshit. ColoradoGuy is spot on. A member of the opposite sex would never be an observer during a urinalysis.
 

D_Albert_Bulgehopper

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Why are people acting like this is an unforeseen breach of privacy? When you enter the military, be it through recruitment or academies, you are well aware of the laws and regulations you'll be required to abide by- including zero-tolerance for drugs, as well as restrictions on freedom of speech (disrespecting a higher ranking service member is no joke- this includes the President).
 

ardus

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Been a soldier for 11 years. I have participated in countless urinalyses. When I was younger I had a real problem pissing in front of people so I would have to overload before I could do it. Over the years I've gotten over it. I've also been the observer, or "Cock Watcher" as we usually call it. The degree of how closely the observer watches depends entirely on the observer. The average observer just stands behind the guy and waits for him to finish. It's a pretty routine thing we do it every couple of months. As far as mixed gender observation, I've never seen it, however I'm an Infantryman and until about three months ago there were 0 women at the Battalion and below level in Infantry units. I don't think the regulation mentions the gender of observers specifically but I do think that if a UPL sent a mixed gender observer in to observe he'd be subject to a possible EO complaint.
Richard
 

NightFish

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A guy I work with used to be in the military and complained how he once had a female observer that made him feel uncomfortable. He said they had to stand behind a white line to loss. I commented that the black line was probably a foot farther back.

He's lying. The military would never have a female observer for male service members.
 

achillesx

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I had random drug testing for 20 yrs. male and female observers. after the first couple years, it was obvious the tests were not random. it seemed if we rubbed our boss the wrong way, we all had a "random" drug test within a week. anyway, they would hand me the cup, go into a bathroom and the observer would be looking over my shoulder. In my disdain for my boss/ the system etc., I got to the point where I just whipped it out in front of the observer, peed in the cup, and handed the cup back to them. I did have one female observer comment "nice", and a few females turn their heads, while I politely reminded them that watching me pee was their job. and I had one male observer who was mesmerized and speechless by my actions. when I handed him the cup, he just stood there like he was froze. I also used to fill the cup all the way up if I could, just so maybe a drop or two would run over the side.

Most appropriate "cool story bro" I've seen on here in a while.
 

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travis1985

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Those comparing it to employment drug testing and whining about what a breach of privacy it is are missing the boat. The question wasn't about that side of it, just the awkwardness of having to take a piss while someone watches. When it's for a job, the receptionist doesn't watch you pee. And a part time job at mcdonalds is not the same as being in the military. So if you like to smoke a little pot and you have a political issue because your boss can test you for it and it might be a problem, that's fine. But grind that ax in the appropriate time and place. This isn't comparable.
 

pasarefun

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Drug tests have changed lately. When I was hired for my current job we had to go and pee in a cup at a lab. Now, the new hires go into the HR office and use what looks like a small tooth brush in their mouth. No more dropping pants.
 

lamy27

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The first job I had, it was in the aviation industry, we had mandatory drug testing to get hired. The drug testing was done at the time of the physical. I had a female physician's assistant and female doctor for my physical which was not unusal. However, for the drug testing they did not overtly watch one providing the sample. They asked me to go the bathroom with the cup and to leave the door slightly cracked open and not to flush the toilet after peeing. The PA checked the temp of the sample and checked the color in the toilet against the sample and that was it. She did not sit there and stare at me providing the sample. It was completely different for random drug tests. We had to provide a sample with direct observation. The oberver was always the same sex. Even there it was stand at the urinal and pee as you normally would nothing more invasive than that.
 

milbud29

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Thanks for the replies. As luck would have it, I got tagged for urinalysis testing recently after posting this...it went ok, basically had to make myself need to go so badly it wasn't an issue. BUT, i will say that my observer definitely took his job seriously and rather than stand sort of behind me like they have in the past, this guy stood just off center in front of me and stared at my cock the whole time. Definitely an awkward situation. Oh well, it is what it is and hopefully not something I'll be selected for again any time soon.
 

monel

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BUT, i will say that my observer definitely took his job seriously and rather than stand sort of behind me like they have in the past, this guy stood just off center in front of me and stared at my cock the whole time. Definitely an awkward situation. Oh well, it is what it is and hopefully not something I'll be selected for again any time soon.
Well obviously the man liked you and wanted to be more than just your urinalysis observer
:biggrin1: