Millennium Women's Attitude To Dating And Men

DeclanBrent

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A very lengthy and in-depth investigation into the dating habits of millennials in the British Times last week, written by a millennial woman (behind a paywall so unable to post a link) was disturbing to me, but not to my girlfriend, which surprised me (of which more later).
The gist of the article, which involved multiple interviews with both genders, revealed a new class of dater in which the vast majority of women are behaving badly, like men in the old days, using and dropping guys for sex, expecting men to pay for dates then ghosting them, fucking multiple men at the same time, treating men like shit, many telling their friends it was their turn in the post-Weinstein era. Now I'm sure many of you will feel that's not the case - that men are still the dirty villains in most cases, and will have countless anecdotes to back that up. But if the article had been written by a male it would've been predictable. The fact it was written by a young woman sympathetic of the new situation was enlightening and tells me there's something to it (I've been witness to many cases of double standards, as has my girlfriend).
Discussing this with my girlfriend, who has never been a fan of the MeToo movement and female 'victimhood' in general, I was genuinely surprised by her response. Men have fucked us over for millennia, she said, now you're getting a taste of your own medicine. This is richly at odds with my own verdict - that you don't remove one form of tyranny by replacing it wth another, and that forcing men into their own victim culture will store up a lot of trouble for the sexes further down the line.
I'm interested to hear your views ladies.
 
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I don't know that it's as much a "giving a taste of your own medicine" as much as an overarching sense of selfishness/lack of care for others, compounded by the ease in doing so in the digital age. It's easier to ghost someone by blocking on a dating app/mobile phone than in person/if you had to call on a landline before caller ID. A girlfriend once said "I need to have 2 good dinner dates where he pays in order to recoup my match.com subscription this month"... I think it's easier to justify poor behavior and make things impersonal online than in person. I also think the digital age is making relationships more superficial in general.
 

Tight_N_Juicy

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I don't know anything about any of this and I'm a millennial.

*Shrug*

Adding to this, if I ever do find myself single and dating again I wouldn't "treat men like shit" and "use them for sex" (unless they're into being "used", that can be a fun kink) then ghost them.

I truly think that if the generation before me had the ability to utilize the technology we have now they'd be acting the same way at the age. Hell... A lot of people in dating sites aren't millennials in the first place.
 

DeclanBrent

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I don't know that it's as much a "giving a taste of your own medicine" as much as an overarching sense of selfishness/lack of care for others, compounded by the ease in doing so in the digital age. It's easier to ghost someone by blocking on a dating app/mobile phone than in person/if you had to call on a landline before caller ID. A girlfriend once said "I need to have 2 good dinner dates where he pays in order to recoup my match.com subscription this month"... I think it's easier to justify poor behavior and make things impersonal online than in person. I also think the digital age is making relationships more superficial in general.
Yes, the digital age has exacerbated the human species' natural inclination to be assholes.
 
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DeclanBrent

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Adding to this, if I ever do find myself single and dating again I wouldn't "treat men like shit" and "use them for sex" (unless they're into being "used", that can be a fun kink) then ghost them.
I truly think that if the generation before me had the ability to utilize the technology we have now they'd be acting the same way at the age. Hell... A lot of people in dating sites aren't millennials in the first place.
Yes, I think any generation that found itself turning 21 as this technology became widespread would have acted the same or worse. It just so happens that the generation in question is millennial.
 
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Yes, I think any generation that found itself turning 21 as this technology became widespread would have acted the same or worse. It just so happens that the generation in question is millennial.

Like I said though, it's not solely millennials who are utilizing this technology *now*.
 
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DeclanBrent

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Meh. people are terrible. They do terrible things to each other. Either by intent or neglect.

I am curious about what site this article originated from. Content is almost always created with a bias toward the intended audience.
The British Times. Online content is behind a paywall unfortunately, I read it in the print edition. The Times, while being a Murdoch asset, is essentially at the centre politically. It's not as right wing as the Daily Mail, Telegraph or Express, nor as liberal as the Guardian or Independent. Generally highly respected in the UK and probably read, both in print and online, by a professional and older demographic.
 

DeclanBrent

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Like I said though, it's not solely millennials who are utilizing this technology *now*.
This is true of course, and I take your point. But my point, as articulated in the article, rests on the premise that young people (therefore, chiefly millennials) are dating in a new world unknown to their parents and grandparents, and that because of the Weinstein crimes and other wider societal changes with respect to gender, older women will almost certainly, for the most part, not see men the way their daughters and granddaughters do. At least, that's the point the article was making - how the dating world has changed to reflect far less respect for young men and far more bad behavior from young women. As mentioned, I found this particularly resonant because it was investigated and written by a millennial woman who, having done the legwork, came to the conclusion that the traditional roles have been turned on their heads, to the general detriment of men. Of course most men would whinge that's the case, but you generally wouldn't expect a young woman to say it. One example she used was how one young woman freely spoke to her friends in public about how she was going to rape her boyfriend later - and how offensive, perhaps even criminal given context, that would have been if her boyfriend had said it about her.
 

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This is true of course, and I take your point. But my point, as articulated in the article, rests on the premise that young people (therefore, chiefly millennials) are dating in a new world unknown to their parents and grandparents, and that because of the Weinstein crimes and other wider societal changes with respect to gender, older women will almost certainly, for the most part, not see men the way their daughters and granddaughters do. At least, that's the point the article was making - how the dating world has changed to reflect far less respect for young men and far more bad behavior from young women. As mentioned, I found this particularly resonant because it was investigated and written by a millennial woman who, having done the legwork, came to the conclusion that the traditional roles have been turned on their heads, to the general detriment of men. Of course most men would whinge that's the case, but you generally wouldn't expect a young woman to say it. One example she used was how one young woman freely spoke to her friends in public about how she was going to rape her boyfriend later - and how offensive, perhaps even criminal given context, that would have been if her boyfriend had said it about her.

Yeah, I'm with MickeyLee. People are shit. Always have been. Most aren't that bad, we just focus on the worst society has to offer.

I don't think millennial women are heartless assholes. Some? Of course. Most? Probably not.
 
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Assholes gonna be assholes. Period. Nothing wrong at all/is about fucking time as far as MeToo. No witch hunt without proof, 4true, n people who make false accusations should get the same kind o punishment a person would get if they were convicted o the crime in my mind. That said, yes, bring to light how atrocious and how disgustingly common assault is. Yes. Is important.

Far as treatin' people shit with dating, been out o dating game for long time. Not my way. Mostly try to treat folk like I wanna be treated. Exception is if someone is creep/scares me. Then I ghost with no remorse. Outside o that, polite let know not vibing with if not feeling it, etc. Try to live my life as a mostly kind person. Think I am on fringe o count for being "millennial" but I don't pay much mind to that kind of shit.
 
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Hey @jaminson ... only women can respond here.

Agree with your assessment that you shouldn't allow anyone to treat your poorly, but I disagree with "if he loved you, he would stay faithful"... some people just aren't wired that way. Some are more motivated by excitement than honoring their commitments. That won't work for me, but it is reality for some.

I'm happy you've found a SO that treats you well.
 

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Well I'm not a millennial, I'm far too long in the tooth I'm afraid Lol. I've never used the internet for dating, I've never even been on a dating site or used online sites for my husband and I's swing hookups for that matter.
I understand how these sites make it easier to reach a wider audience of potential dates, I know some friends who have used them. Personally tho I feel it takes away from the magic and anticipation of going out on the town single maybe hoping to meet a guy either just as a mutal hookup or maybe more, or one your friends telling you they've met a guy you might be interested in.
Anyway the way of today's world is driven by technology I guess and it's clearly made things very easy to get a date altho myself I couldn't imagine paying a subscription to a dating site, I'd much rather blow my money on a good night out than sit behind a screen trying to find a date.
I haven't come across the attitude from young women that you're talking about myself but then I live in a quiet part of the UK out in the sticks so that's maybe why, I had one night stands when I was younger and I know I've broken a few hearts of guys who wanted to take things further and I didn't. Maybe young women are worse today but I doubt it's the majority and I certainly don't agree with the statement that 'it's our turn now' a lot of young people these days don't have the time or just don't want to get into a relationship just yet, maybe they're just having fun as I did at that age but now they have the power of the internet to assist them. Attitudes have definitely changed where sex is concerned, young people are bombarded with pornography if they choose to look at it which I strongly believe has shaped the expectations of a lot of young people today, maybe it's just the way the world is today? I see nothing wrong with having a little fun sexually, what annoys me is when young people don't take the necessary precautions and we're ending up with so many single parents at such a young age, that's an issue worth worrying about. There's a young lady in our village who already has two children and hasn't a clue who the father of either is, now that's a problem! X
 
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