Mindfulness of Growing Bigger and Better - My Spiritual Awakening--Power of NOW.

Supersoak

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Mindfulness ... Mind and body work together to accomplish extraordinary triumphs! The story of Alex Honnold, a rock climber, who has been making headlines lately for climbing rocks, clinging thousands of feet in the air, with out ropes. His story reminds me of when I first began my very own spiritual awakening. Here, if you take a few moments, come climb with me, I will share with you what experiences I have gained through the power of NOW. And I hope you can share your experience through my story. After you completed reading my story and the story of Rock Climber Alex Honnold, and watching the videos attached directly underneath, I believe relate to Mindfullness - The Power and TIME of NOW! Please comment if you feel the need! Thank you so much for being my friend through social networking and through life. -Michael Kraemer

Mindfulness--The POWER of NOW

It all began with a beautiful story a friend of mine shared at a candlelight AA meeting in uptown Minneapolis last January 2011. The topic of the night was picked out of a hat --- "Moment by Moment" ---- The stories shared and even the silence given in between them were timed out like we were all on the same page.



The presents of energy, something greater, seemed to surround all of us, at least in my own personal experience of the “then.” The entire time I had goose-bumps and chills and was fighting off tears. A few weeks previous to this experience, someone told me that when you get the chills and “goose bumps” it’s the energy of importance. (Or for some of the obvious reasons, you’re either sick and getting the flu or a cold) But in this instance, it was Information of importance. We are “multi-sensory” human beings and born into this life with them. When you are experiencing an experience itself (this being “my whole life lead up to this moment,” to what I can now describe, was a feeling of “Oh, WOW, I get it NOW! Everything will be okay.” The energy of others and the words that blended together that I could relate to then and to now, writing to you. The weight was lifted from my shoulders. And is still being lifted as each new moment of present life, presents itself.

I could not physically see around the room, just the flickering candlelight’s in the center of the church basement. But it was almost as if there were lights everywhere around us. Like the room lite up. A few moving stories were shared from others and a few moments later this gentleman, my friend, began to speak. His words were as graceful as words that have never been spoken to me before in my life. The tastes of these words were if almost I had never eaten before. Almost like I was ment to meet him, ment to HEAR them, and in the now, MENT to SHARE them.


He began by telling us about how it’s been said that 80% of all humans don’t live in the moment. That some live in the past, some live in the future. But only 20% of humans live in the NOW. Why put all senses in the past and not in the now? Not what you could have done differently yesterday or even worrying about what you are going to do tomorrow. He mentioned about his boyfriend being in the hospital, and in that moment that night, he was still there. Earlier, that particular evening, His lover was close to deaths door due to cancer and a series of other complications arose because of the current cancer condition. The doctor confronted him during the time of desperation, not knowing if the love of his life was going to be alive or dead. He continued on with saying that the doctor told him that they are about to attempt a procedure that could save his life.....and that they would have to perform it regardless. But the procedure was a chance the he could not make it or a chance he would. But all they could do is be in the moment and hope that when that moment comes the next, he will be here. To have faith and determination that he will succeed in life. But right now, the doctor stated, he IS ALIVE.


My friend began to describe this feeling of being right then and there and how he felt after the doctor had spoke to him with the words of “He’s ALIVE” and this overwhelming sense of calmness and light surrounded his clouded, fearful thinking. A movement in the moment of positive energy and awareness. The POWER of NOW. It was that LIGHT of “newness” within the NOW that he decided to still carry with him to the AA meeting that evening after the procedure was completed and successful. Being in the now is LIVING. And in that moment LIFE.



At this time, I was crying, but the tears were that of beauty, the beauty of life. He has this gift of speaking words like I have the gift of writing. These gifts we all share to each other to enlighten ourselves within each other. This is KNOWING.



He continued to speak about the one moment he met this Rock Climber. Who had all these wonderful stories to share of the experiences he had through climbing the rocks of mountains. He began to share with us, that he asked the climber, the althlete, if he had any times where he felt like he was in extreme danger for his life. The man replied back saying, “No, infact I find it the most peaceful thing for me to do in my life. I guess I don’t really worry too much of failure. I have the knowledge to be in the moment of each step up or down I take. I breathe in and breathe out, keeping all of my focus in the current position of the current moment to when I am absolutely sure about the next. Slow and easy…I am at peace within myself and the Earth around me.”



My friend had completed sharing what he had experienced. And there was complete silence around the room for a few more moments. I felt my chills, goose bumps, and tears drift away. I felt this entire feeling of WARMTH and feelings of true entitlements to accept LIFE on LIFE TERMS. And the true meaning to the serenity prayer came into the lightness of knowledge, “God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”


And because of this, I now have come to the conclusion that I was praying simpily to myself. For myself. My god is ME and my Growth through experience. I know your god is you, reading this now and your growth through experience. I also know that our god is being together in the moment. Me sharing, you reading. Me writing this now has made me come to realize all of this newness and light of sharing. Speaking from my innerself, my soul, is God. God is everything!


Yes, even god is within the evilness (darkness) of people in society today, who’s actions through either verbal, physical, or even through a thought that puts others down negatively and are taken as either hatred, jealousy, or unawareness of the lightness within themselves and within others as well. The inner voice of self, is our child of growth, that each day provides a new series of moments that we experience through all senses we have. The graceful movements of the monent to moments of life as we presently know it. The unknowing or even not wanting for change and growth is the darkness itself. But being OPEN to right here and right now, the beauty of life is everywhere around us, you see...everything is half chance...so that half chance in that moment could be the chance of a lifetime. But was brought to you right then for a reason.

As children, we all shined. We were resillant. We STILL ARE. Right HERE and RIGHT Now! Then and NOW we are Open for knowledge and growth. Then and now I AM excited to see and do new things! My little nitch besides TRAINS ....AND playing "dressup" in my mom's and grandma's clothes, and of course playing "house" with my cousins, LOL... was and still is CANDLES. I LOVE the scent of candles. All different kinds. Now that I think of it..I realize that I loved the LIGHT they give from them.....LIGHTNESS --- not darkness. My grandma told me that she knew I was different as a child. Different meaning compassionate and I am sure, Gay. You know, with the whole dressup and makeup and high heels thing. She always embraces that part of me. As she still is a very loving, accepting, and inspirational person to me. I am very grateful to have her in my life! She told me as a teenager, that every day I had my empty box I would load up with candles and I would put them in my little red wagon and pull then around the yard. Up and down the hills and such. Apparently, every 10 or 20 feet, the box of candles would fall and spill all over and outside of the wagon. I would calmly stop the wagon, pick up the box, and put each and every candle back in its place. I just kept on going. I would never get frustraited or upset! Pulling steadier and steadier each new day I pulled that wagon and my grandma followed me patiently until I succeded in no falls.


Maybe you can relate to having fallen yourself before in the past, when you picked your self back up...yet maybe fell again a few moments later and someone else was just there to help you up. Offer a hand. This WAS and IS ment to be. So, even if you are on the ground or on the down now, here...let MY story "Lighten" your fall. And let my story, in this MOMENT, PICK you back UP! ♥ It Get's Better! :) ♥

The choice is NOW. The balance of that choice will be in the next moment. NOW, inevitably of that choice will occur. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Positive or negative. In every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects. The size of the forces on the first object equals the size of the force on the second object. The direction of the force on the first object is opposite to the direction of the force on the second object. Forces always come in pairs - equal and opposite action-reaction force pairs.



Today is a new day. And today will offer many new moments of growth, and if it doesn’t, well hey, at least I am open and intuitive for them to appear. “Objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear” The sun, is coming up now, it is 0702 Sunday, April 29th, 2012, If it weren’t for the moon, which serves as a counterbalance to the sun, and also controls the oceans tides, well today would not exist. So because of the bad, there is good, because of the ugly there is beautiful.


I will say this now, each and everyone of you reading this is beautiful, and have so much light within you. You’re my friend for a reason. You have found me though friends of friends, in person through experiences we experienced together, or even via online on a some “Social site” of some kind. Gratitude for having the honor to have come into your life, Somehow, now all I ask of you is to be OPEN and HONEST with me, and with yourself. I will do the best I can to do better and be better. Let’s learn and grow from each other and enjoy every moment together like it’s our last. Because “It DOES Get Better”

With LOVE,

Michael


US free solo climber Alex Honnold hailed as the best of his generation | Mail Online

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jImQqejgqNU&feature=related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jImQqejgqNU&feature=related

Best Job | P&G London 2012 Olympic Games Film - YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PG2GXGyVfk8&feature=player_embedded

It Gets Better Song by Todrick Hall Now Available on iTunes!!! - YouTube

"CinderFella" by Todrick Hall - YouTube
 
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798686

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Didn't read through all of it - but I'm aware of mindfulness. Very important.

Why bother worrying about everything in advance all the time? Just means you expend the energy more than once when you don't need to. :D

Mindfulness exercises etc are very helpful in enjoying and harnessing the moment - and not sabotaging it beforehand. :)
 
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798686

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That's good. :)

I wasn't being critical - I was agreeing with you.
 

NoH8

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Curious post. I like the mindfulness concept. You should post this as a blog here on LPSG rather than in a thread. Then you can add new blog entries as they come to mind and people will have an easy place to find your work and comment. Also I would suggest rewriting it slightly to suit the audience here rather than pasting it as a whole from another site/s.

I'm keen to see what's next.

I'm also a fan of your XTube work.
 

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Thank you so much!! I tried to post on a blog...but this writing was simply "too big!" unlike most things on here! lol! Right?! Anyways, thank you so much for being a fan! <3 This writing was an add on to my first writing which I have posted on my xtube.com profile (xraveboi) after finally accepting my HIV+ diagnosis!! Finally I am free!! And how BEAUTIFUL it is!! Trapped in my own mind! I am HUMAN again!! XXOO
 

Supersoak

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This is a story I posted on my facebook last year (2011) in February for all of my friends and fans to read! Please note, things have gotten better since then! I have a new job and a place to live, and I am healthy! <3

OUT of my boat and into the SEA of the UNKOWN...I am special, I am UNIQUE! This is part of my story!
by Michael on Wednesday, February 23, 2011 at 9:01pm
Please Read Everyone..but I do ask, Please be respectful, as I am jumping out of my BOAT and into the SEA of the UNKNOWN now. I am going to share my story and Help CHANGE people"s Lives. I am about to WALK ON WATER!
Wednesday Febuary 23rd, 2011 9:00 PM
Here are a few quotes I understand now and now live by:
&#65533;The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having new eyes.&#65533; Marcel Prous

"Be the Change You Wish to See in the World"
"In Every life, we have the ability to influence Up to 250 People In One Human Lifetime...Who Are You Going to Influence Today"
"Live in the Moment, Be Greatful for What it is and Let it Go. As the Next May Never Come"
"Accept Who You Are, but That Doesn"t Mean You Can"t Work To Do Better or Be Better..if You Accept Who You Are Then You Know Yourself Better, or Else You Just Deny Who You Are and Don"t Know How To Work To Be Better and Do Better!"
"Let the World Change You and Then You Can Change the World"
I used to be different. I used to be unhappy, insecure, bitchy, gossipy and rude. I used to judge. A guy named Brayden taught me just this on this passed Sunday upon doing a shower contest that evening. Going off gossip and rumours, they have only heard stories about me. Judgemental. I walk outside the Saloon to have a smoke...upon walking out, I hear snickers and see rolling eyes. Then, the group of three of them move over and make room for me. As I pass them I hear, "Michael, you really need to take care of yourself". I ignore the comment and pull a smoke out of my pack. I then ask, "Excuse me, do one of you have a lighter?" No response from any of them, as they are deep in talk. You know...discussion about OTHERS and not themselves. I ask about 3 more times and nothing, all three of them ignore me. As I walk away, I say "Gosh, how rude!" and continue to light my cigarette with a convenient heater close by (as its cold and snowy here in Minneapolis)
As I stand there and smoke my cigarette I hear them talking... "You know, maybe I should change the way I look, that way no one will recognize me. You know, cut my hair short, put some blonde highlights in, get my eyesbrows waxed, go tanning, then no one will know me?" They all look at me laughing. I walk passed them saying "Pardon me," as I walk through the group, "Have a good night!" Later in the evening I see one of the friends in the bathroom. I tell him, "You know, you dont need to be mean and rude. You dont know my personal story. I have a lot to offer someone. Live in the moment and be mindful. You really hurt my feelings! Have a good night!"
I guess that must"ve really put things into prespective for the whole group. Mockingly in my head:"Run off, quick, and TELL OTHERS the feedback I got from "SuperSoaker" as I can"t respond without our lead queen in my presence to back me up." So, about 30 mins later, I enter the Amatuer Shower Contest at the Saloon, which btw I have only won once the 18 times I have done it, lol. But the little money from tips does help me for what I need. Cigs, gas (now bus fare, lol) food. So, I walk into the shower, dance a little bit in my underwear...then I go completely naked and dance, smile, finally getting some tips from people...dollars, yea it was nice. I think I made about $10 bucks. Then all of a sudden I see this Braydan guy walk up to the shower in the crowd of people all just watching, point at me and say "OMG, REALLY?!" Really loud, laughing and clapping, hitting his knees with his hands, making a big scene so others can see, and runs away out of the bar and into another part.
Thinking to myself. "What the fuck! What is this guys problem?! What did I do to him for him to treat me like that and in front of all those people. In retrospect, he just made himself look like a complete catty asshole!" Soon enough, I was done dancing and went back in the crowd to socialize and watch the other contestants perform.
It was interesting being in the crowd and mindful of my surroundings and listening to what other people were saying about other contestants. All negative, all bitchy, all about body, face, ass, or cock! Understandable, we put ourselves out there, naked, there to be judged. But I was not looking at it that way at all. There is always AT LEAST one nice (beautiful thing) about a persons looks...if not more! For every negative, mean comment I heard, I turned to the person and said. You know, thats not nice. I think that person is very attractive, and also believe that he is up there trying to entertain you and needs the money. "Well," one of the guys said "He might have a beautiful body, but his face, no way man, you have him beat on that!" I said "Well thank you, but he is perfect in everyway! Look at his body...he obviously works out and takes good care of himself, his face is handsome, youthful, and im sure he"s a good person!" I continue, "Do you know him? Have you sat down and talked to him? What about his heart? Whats inside?" People around me were listening. I took notice! I needed that $10 I had earned so bad, but i had to prove a point. I went and tipped that guy in the shower a dollar and stayed to tip every contestant one dollar.
Later, when it was time to be judged in front of the whole bar and crowd, a nice girl and young man came up to me. "Whats your name?" She asks, "My name is Michael aka SuperSoaker!" She said, hey I thought you were the best up there! I responded "Oh, no looking around to the other contestants, no way, but thank you so much!" She said "Here this is for you! We will scream for you!" I took the money and smiled! And the guy and her both stood right below me and shouted and clapped for me, when my name was called. Unfortunantely, I didnt make the cut. There were 5 of us. After leaving the stage, I realized thst one girl and guy were the ones standing next to me in the audience when I was telling one of the "judgers" (barflys) "Its not about what this is or that is, its what about whats in here, your heart, mind, body, soul. Only GOD can judge. Moral of the story, NEVER JUDGE a BOOK by ITS COVER! Respect, love, live, teach, and LEARN from one another. And Most importantly DANCE! Dance for LIFE!"
No more longer am I this kind of person, No more longer will I put others down to make myself or my group of friends feel better! Because I know what its like to be THAT person now. I know what its like once again to be misunderstood. I went through High School, How could I forget....It Gets Better!
Hello, I am Michael...here is some of my story!
Everyone likes to bitch and complain, i figure why? Live in the moment! Be appreciative of what you got! I have very little right now, But I do have me! My car got towed the other day in the snow emergency! That car was everything to me, but its costing too much to get it out than what its worth. You know with all the previous unpaid tickets, the current ticket, the towing fee, the updated regestration thats expired, no insurance because i cant afford it. I mean, the heater didnt work, no front bumper, there is an oil leak, transmission leak, coolant leak...transmission is going out, has over 210,000 miles on it, has air leaks and water/weather leaks in the convertible roof top...its worn. Snow comes in, water comes in...meh, Ill give it to the city! Its better that way...just need to go there, get my stuff out of the trunk and inside and sign it over to them. It served its purpose! It got me everywhere I needed to go, that car. Orlando, Denver, Minneapolis. I got it in 2004 at 94,000 miles. It kept me safe and got me where I needed to go!
Right now i have no money, no job..and im sharing a small room with another 3 guys...yup thats 4 of us! I just got out of treatment for drugs. Out of a continuing care halfway house, and now in a transition/boarding house. But yet I am happy...I have something, not everything, but yet not NOTHING!
I have a place to live and free food, internet and thank god a cell phone! I have just a few close friends that understand me. And we go out and dance and help eachother live. Live in the moment! Be greatful for what it is to you. This moment! Because the next may never come. Dont think about what you could or could"ve done differently yesterday and dont stress about what to do tomorrow...or even later tonight. Just be 100% in the NOW. Right HERE, right NOW! It"s not only being MINDFUL its being REAL! Life is about learning, living, loving, and teaching! And what the heck, I"ll throw in dancing in there too! Because I love to DANCE!
So, This is what I have learned in the last year after being diagnosed with HIV. April 26th, 2010. I thought the whole world was against me, that I was sick and was going to die. When in fact, after waking up out of a coma in the ER after an overdose of GHB and into a hot tub at my gym, I realized it wasnt the HIV that was going to kill me...It was me going to kill myself. My drugs of choice then made sense. It wasnt the uppers or the downers. It was the GUILT, the SHAME, the DENIAL. I learned to accept myself from last october til finally the end of this month where I broke down at a friends house. The way I was living before was selfish and full of negativity and self-loathing. In SOOOO many ways I am GRATEFUL for this virus! I just dont want to give it to others! But i am grateful for the way it has changed my life. It has changed me! Now I can share with others what I have learned! I can teach!!!
This is right, this is my call to life now! I just need to jump off my boat and into the sea of the unknown, PUSH myself, YES I need to learn to WALK ON WATER and CHANGE PEOPLES lives!!! I can do it! Its my calling from my higher power, my god! God to me is like a huge mirror...once broken into millions and millions of little peices, a small peice is in EACH and EVERY ONE of us....when we are quiet....alone or together....we are connected to this mirror within us....we hold it up, we see ourselves...we flash it around we see eachother....in perspective we see each other WITHIN OURSELVES! We just have to be quiet every once in awhile. Meditate! Be connected within ourselves. Listen to our INNER VOICE...for it speaks only the truth...only whats right! No H8, just love! Let our INNER Voice SPEAK! For it is silenced throughout our day, silenced through negativity around us. From others TRYING to shoot us down. From fear, loathing, and greed! Live in the moment. Not regretting yesterday in what you could have done differently or didnt do at all. Not about tomorrow for what you are going to do. Right Here...Right NOW. In this very moment. As the next may never come. Live, LEARN, LOVE, DANCE, and TEACH! Journal writing is a great way to get reconnected with yourself.
"Be the Change You Wish To See In The World!"
Michael "SuperSoaker &#65533; xraveboi"
 

NoH8

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Michael, what an inspiring, thrilling and beautiful story. Thank you for putting it out there for us. You are very brave. You truly are a teacher. I hope those around you respect you and take care of you. You have freed yourself. This path is a long one, keep going and you will achieve something great.

Love,

NoH8
 

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"We live in every moment but this one. Why don't we recognize the faces loving us so?" -Nightwish, Last Ride of the Day.

Great song... xD Especially if you're a roller coaster fan.