Mishap during sex. funny or embarassing

AlteredEgo

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Don't get me wrong this may have happened but I have a first cousin that has muay thai training and some mild punches in the face from the hands ( that have bones ) are not enough to cause a black eye, let alone a boneless cock hitting an eye from a very close range. So you have to excuse my disbelief.
I don't know about your sexual health, but a lot of what I have encountered, in terms of erection quality, has been very solid. You know, they aren't supposed to be floppy. Personally, I prefer a little floppiness when the erection is really big. But it's not a great sign about the overall health of the man. If you cannot relate, because your own dick just does not get rock-solid hard, I would recommend you assess your lifestyle choices, and consider talking to your physician about your hormones and blood flow.
 
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nailz

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It's a free forum. So it's against this site's purpose. Also relax mate. I did nothing to deserve this response from you.

I've asked you before, but what exactly is your purpose here?
You never have anything constructive to add to any thread.

A perfect example is the Pegging thread, where the OP asks how to ask their wife to peg them and you go on for six pages about how pegging is a homosexual act. There is something seriously wrong with you.
Patronizing and passive aggressive posts make you no less a troll :rolleyes:
 

soren10

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I don't know about your sexual health, but a lot of what I have encountered, in terms of erection quality, has been very solid. You know, they aren't supposed to be floppy. Personally, I prefer a little floppiness when the erection is really big. But it's not a great sign about the overall health of the man. If you cannot relate, because your own dick just does not get rock-solid hard, I would recommend you assess your lifestyle choices, and consider talking to your physician about your hormones and blood flow.

My erections are fine. I just stated the fact that cocks have no bones in them. Also my gallery proves that I have nothing to worry about. Thanks for your concern :D
 

soren10

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I've asked you before, but what exactly is your purpose here?
You never have anything constructive to add to any thread.

A perfect example is the Pegging thread, where the OP asks how to ask their wife to peg them and you go on for six pages about how pegging is a homosexual act. There is something seriously wrong with you.
Patronizing and passive aggressive posts make you no less a troll :rolleyes:

I shared my opinion on the pegging thread. I went for 6 pages , because the thread turned into an interview , in a way, people keep asking me questions, So there is that. And as said arguing leads to productive conversations. I never was patronizing I and passive aggressive, writen speech gets misunderstood because it lacks to vocal tone . Also I never claimed I'm better than anyone I stated a couple of times what my weaknesses and insecurities are. And for the last time I'm not a troll. Can you get that ?
 

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This thread is another perfect example.
People were posting relevant responses until you arrived with your typical passive aggressive trolling.

no-matter how many times you say i'm trolling, will not make it true also this " trolling " thing gets thrown around so easy in forums, that it kinda has lost it's meaning and sometimes gets mixed up with simple statements and opinions. anyway lets get this thread back to " normal ".
 

AlteredEgo

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My erections are fine. I just stated the fact that cocks have no bones in them. Also my gallery proves that I have nothing to worry about. Thanks for your concern :D
Full hardness cannot necessarily be determined through photographs, and make no mistake; I have NEVER harbored the least curiosity about your dick. You wanna talk facts? The fact is anyone here who has, or who has experienced a very large, maximally engorged erection knows just how hard and heavy something like that is. The fact that you believe a hand is comparable, proves you are not among our number.

no-matter how many times you say i'm trolling, will not make it true also this " trolling " thing gets thrown around so easy in forums, that it kinda has lost it's meaning and sometimes gets mixed up with simple statements and opinions. anyway lets get this thread back to " normal ".
You ARE trolling. You came to this thread where people were enjoying themselves and shitted all over it, and you did it on purpose. Did you tell an embarrassing or goofy story? No! You came in and, as politely as is possible, called @nailz a liar. You seem to think because you were gentle about it, that makes it okay. It doesn't. You singlehandedly sucked the fun out of a thread. Congratulations. That's trolling. Literally. Here's a clue-by-four for your face. If you see a thread where people are having fun, join the fun instead of derailing it. If you're going to challenge the veracity of some anecdote, don't choose an established member whose word is generally trusted because she has already proven herself over time. Definitely don't defend yourself nor double-down on your accusations after they respond, since you're already in the wrong. And when you're behaving like a troll, and are called on it, either apologize, or shut the fuck up.

By the way, to get a thread back on track, you must actually post something relevant, not just tell people to get back on topic. No further replies from you are necessary unless you've actually got a true, funny story to tell, or a good joke that is in keeping with the original spirit of this thread.

I know in previous threads I've mentioned this. But. I was giving my very first boyfriend a blow job, at the main research branch of the NYPL (with the Lions outside) in the hallway that leads to the room where you begin searches for periodicals. There is an alcove, such that no one just looking down the hall could see the occupants of the bench within. No one could sneak up on is either. The ceilings are gloriously high, the surfaces all really hard, and the resulting echoes could be cacophonous. So, one afternoon there, when our schoolwork was concluded, I practiced my art. Seconds after I swallowed the last drop, we heard footfalls, and adjusted ourselves. A security guard turned up, and told us the library was closed. Once outside, we saw that it would actually still be open a few hours. We'd never seen the camera, but she must have been watching us, and since she let us finish, I would guess she liked what she saw. We chuckled.
 

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Full hardness cannot necessarily be determined through photographs, and make no mistake; I have NEVER harbored the least curiosity about your dick. You wanna talk facts? The fact is anyone here who has, or who has experienced a very large, maximally engorged erection knows just how hard and heavy something like that is. The fact that you believe a hand is comparable, proves you are not among our number.


You ARE trolling. You came to this thread where people were enjoying themselves and shitted all over it, and you did it on purpose. Did you tell an embarrassing or goofy story? No! You came in and, as politely as is possible, called @nailz a liar. You seem to think because you were gentle about it, that makes it okay. It doesn't. You singlehandedly sucked the fun out of a thread. Congratulations. That's trolling. Literally. Here's a clue-by-four for your face. If you see a thread where people are having fun, join the fun instead of derailing it. If you're going to challenge the veracity of some anecdote, don't choose an established member whose word is generally trusted because she has already proven herself over time. Definitely don't defend yourself nor double-down on your accusations after they respond, since you're already in the wrong. And when you're behaving like a troll, and are called on it, either apologize, or shut the fuck up.

By the way, to get a thread back on track, you must actually post something relevant, not just tell people to get back on topic. No further replies from you are necessary unless you've actually got a true, funny story to tell, or a good joke that is in keeping with the original spirit of this thread.

I know in previous threads I've mentioned this. But. I was giving my very first boyfriend a blow job, at the main research branch of the NYPL (with the Lions outside) in the hallway that leads to the room where you begin searches for periodicals. There is an alcove, such that no one just looking down the hall could see the occupants of the bench within. No one could sneak up on is either. The ceilings are gloriously high, the surfaces all really hard, and the resulting echoes could be cacophonous. So, one afternoon there, when our schoolwork was concluded, I practiced my art. Seconds after I swallowed the last drop, we heard footfalls, and adjusted ourselves. A security guard turned up, and told us the library was closed. Once outside, we saw that it would actually still be open a few hours. We'd never seen the camera, but she must have been watching us, and since she let us finish, I would guess she liked what she saw. We chuckled.

I said that I find it " hard " to believe that a cock slapping the eye can cause this damage when a mild blow in muay thai can't. A blow comes with bigger force than a cock accidentally hitting the face, on a second post I said it's not impossible, So I didn't rule it out , a post providing further clarification would be enough to put my doubts to bed, but this post never came , accusations of trolling came instead . My intention was to state that. I wasn't trolling, as said it's a matter of interpretation. If you still believe I'm trolling I'm sorry for that, it wasn't my intention, sorry No2 if some of my posts come out this way. I really am.


As for a funny story.. Well I was in my room with my GF some 4 years ago I was trying anal for the first time and I failed spectacularly, my now EX shouted about me not being able to enter. My flatmate heard her, safe to say my friends make fun of me at times to this day.
 
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My wife is a little obsessed with memes and it's played out pretty funny in the bedroom.

Once she asked me to let her know when I was close to cumming. As she was riding me I got close I told her, expecting her to hop off and go down on me or even some prostate stim. She leans over and grips my shoulders, pressing her body into mine and growled "I'm Batman" in her best Christian Bale impersonation. We both laughed and she pushed me out and continued to laugh at the last few spurts of cum that synced with my laughs.

Another time she grabbed my arm and pulled me against her back after finishing with her on her stomach. She stroked my face and said "Well done, Draco."

It's great being married to a geek. :)
 
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Couple of others. One time I was going down on a squirter, she squirted right into my eye. I was afraid I would have to go to the ER or something. Luckily I didn't.

I used to live in an apartment building with very thin walls. One afternoon I had my girlfriend at the time over and we had just finished sex when I heard a loud knock on the door. I threw some clothes on and it was the downstairs neighbor calmly asking if his wife was there. I said no and he said "thanks" and left. Funny and the time.
 

Notaes

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Orgasmic migraine. Ouch.


My wife and i were fucking our brains out a few weeks ago and we both were caught up in so much heat and passion. We were both high on pussy and cock and were about to cum. She started shaking violently and started cumming so hard. She started to scream oh my head oh my head. She scared the shit out of me as that is all she could say was oh my head oh my head. She was holding her head as she was cumming. I could tell she was expeiencing both pleasure from cumming but she was in immeanse pain as well. When the orgasm susbsided she still laid still but holding her head. I wasnt sure what to do to help her as she was not communicating at all. I finally got up to get a cold wash cloth for her head. We laid there for about ten minutes and i just held her and her headache finally subsided. She said it scare her really bad. she has been a nurse for many years and when she gets scared i get scared. She said she thought she was having an anurisem in her head. She said it was so piercing kind of pain in her head. We finally chalked it up to the orgasms she was having as she was so hyped up on passion and cock. It was an experience i do not care to re-live. Im sure it is possible to fuck yourself to death. What a way to go though!
 

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My wife and i were fucking our brains out a few weeks ago and we both were caught up in so much heat and passion. We were both high on pussy and cock and were about to cum. She started shaking violently and started cumming so hard. She started to scream oh my head oh my head. She scared the shit out of me as that is all she could say was oh my head oh my head. She was holding her head as she was cumming. I could tell she was expeiencing both pleasure from cumming but she was in immeanse pain as well. When the orgasm susbsided she still laid still but holding her head. I wasnt sure what to do to help her as she was not communicating at all. I finally got up to get a cold wash cloth for her head. We laid there for about ten minutes and i just held her and her headache finally subsided. She said it scare her really bad. she has been a nurse for many years and when she gets scared i get scared. She said she thought she was having an anurisem in her head. She said it was so piercing kind of pain in her head. We finally chalked it up to the orgasms she was having as she was so hyped up on passion and cock. It was an experience i do not care to re-live. Im sure it is possible to fuck yourself to death. What a way to go though!

Fortunately not common and they don't follow a particular pattern. Can be very scary first time or two. After that, just really painful.
 

Fencepost

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Not my event, but relayed to me by a friend: He was fucking his wife- small girl, big boobs, her on top riding up and down. On the up stroke she came disconnected, and then descended hard- bending his dick sideways. He said the agony was so bad, he literally lifted her off and threw her against the wall (fortunately no injury- just stunned). His dick had a huge blood blister ballooning out the side, which he grabbed tightly. They managed to get to the emergency room. Straight into surgery to slice (oooggghhh!), drain and stitch. He said it took over three weeks to heal. Before it happened, he said he was 8" long. After he healed, it was 5" but much thicker. I cannot verify the truthfulness of his words, as I did not witness the event, nor did I see the aftermath. But, it makes a good story.
 
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