I always dwell on my failures. On the moments where I let something great slip through my fingers.
Recently I have been really focussed on the time during college where I could have dated a beautiful Eastern European exchange student. She was for some reason interested in me and I knew it, but I was so self loathing, socially awkward and insecure that I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it and actively tried to ruin it.
I forgot about her for a long time, but the memories have come back as I've been home taking care of my mother. She is sick now and I am here trying to help her get set up in her home. She only has her two sons to help her and we're both busy or far away. We're doing what we can, but things would be so much easier if she had a husband or partner to help. Seeing her like this really makes me question my decision to be single. It makes me wonder if I should pursue a relationship so that I'm not alone when old age comes for me. And makes me wonder if I already lost out on that perfect person some time in the past.
The single life is glorious, but I wonder if being single is really in our nature or self interest.
Recently I have been really focussed on the time during college where I could have dated a beautiful Eastern European exchange student. She was for some reason interested in me and I knew it, but I was so self loathing, socially awkward and insecure that I couldn't bring myself to do anything about it and actively tried to ruin it.
I forgot about her for a long time, but the memories have come back as I've been home taking care of my mother. She is sick now and I am here trying to help her get set up in her home. She only has her two sons to help her and we're both busy or far away. We're doing what we can, but things would be so much easier if she had a husband or partner to help. Seeing her like this really makes me question my decision to be single. It makes me wonder if I should pursue a relationship so that I'm not alone when old age comes for me. And makes me wonder if I already lost out on that perfect person some time in the past.
The single life is glorious, but I wonder if being single is really in our nature or self interest.