Mlb: The First Pitch

thirteenbyseven

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One of the great American traditions is for our U.S. President to throw-out the First Pitch at the start of a new baseball season. Historically, some were better than others. Franklin Roosevelt, though crippled, gamely tossed his from the stands while George W. Bush demonstrated some real ability from atop the mound sixty-feet, six-inches from home plate. His was a firm batting practice fastball that landed squarely in the catcher's glove for a strike.

In the Oval Office today resides a man with an ego compared to Napoleon or Charlemagne. One would think he'd leap at the invitation to demonstrate his athletic prowess before a national television audience. Instead Donald Trump has mysteriously declined, preferring to dash-off to his Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey. Very interesting. Searching the Internet there is a grainy video of a slightly younger Trump at fifty-eight, landing at a minor league game in his Sikorsky S-76 helicopter, then heaving a baseball confidently in the general direction of a targeted catcher's mitt. Instead, the ball landed roughly a foot in front of home plate before it was expertly scooped out of the dirt by an alert catcher.

What has changed in the ensuing years? My guess is Trump my not have the same arm strength, dexterity-- or the fortitude in his mid-seventies to withstand a Bronx cheer if his throw is off target. After all, his merry band of yes-men cannot control the makeup of a Yankee Stadium crowd. But gee, down in Washington "they" happily applauded Dr. Anthony Fauci who looked as-if he'd never thrown a baseball before.

I know what you're going to say, there is no crowd in the stands this year due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I think Donald Trump is worried about the guys in the control room with their fingers on the boo sound-effects button. :p

 
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Industrialsize

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Most memorably, he threw out an embarrassing and awkward-looking pitch at a Boston Red Sox game in 2006 where his form and facial expressions were mocked, which resurfaced in 2017 and led him to end 'talks' to throw out the first pitch at Nationals Park shortly after taking office.
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thirteenbyseven

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Trump Angered That "Fireballer Fauci" Was Invited First

In the high-stakes world of geopolitics, the exact nuances of protocol and order of a sports invitation may impact the very social health and productivity of a nation. Donald J. Trump, much to his surprise and consternation, may have discovered recently that Dr. Anthony Fauci, his diminutive medical whiz on COVID-19, had been invited for a coveted call to throw-out the First Pitch at the season opener for the Washington Nationals. One can only imagine the damage that was done to the sensitive self-esteem of our President.

So on Thursday, in the midst of a news conference were he was soothing a nervous nation that 150,000 deaths from COVID-19 were no big deal, and that a vaccine was in Stage 3 clinical trials, Donald Trump suddenly changed course to dramatically announce that he-- sidewinder-slinger, Tiny Hands Trump-- would indeed throw-out a first pitch at the Red Sox/ Yankees game on August 15th. Only no one told the Yankees or the Steinbrenner family down in Tampa. The nearest anyone can figure, Trump was given (once upon a time) some sort of standing invitation from his best buddy, New York Yankees president Randy Levine.

Below: Please scroll down to a photo of Donald Trump brushing-up on his fielding expertise by catching a powder-puff toss from former Yankee pitcher Mariano Rivera on the White House lawn.


Report: Trump 'annoyed' by Fauci, 'surprised' Yankees with first-pitch announcement
 
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thirteenbyseven

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Dr. Anthony Fauci: "I had been practicing for two days. My arm was killing me!"

There had to have been a logical reason. Something other than nature blessed the good doctor with an immense intellect, trapped within a tiny, non-athletic body of a race horse jockey. He says his scientific calculations were based on an incorrect distance. At home Fauci paced the official MLB distance from the mound to home plate, which should have been sixty-feet, six-inches. However with his Munchkin legs, the given number of paces only reached around forty-five feet. So that explains why his pitch also took a dramatic forty-five degree left turn?
Dr. Anthony Fauci says wild first pitch a result of improper distancing measures in practice