1. fearghus9

    fearghus9 New Member

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    Hey all!

    I have this school buddy who pretty much every time we're in a group of friends makes fun of me saying my penis is small. He says things like.. you can pee anywhere, it's so small no one is gonna see it anyways! and laughs.
    He's never seen my penis and I also haven't seen his. What can I do to show him that I'm not small and make him stop with the mockery? :(
     
  2. kurios

    kurios Member

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    He may suspect you are big and that seems to get to him. He may be trying to get you to fess up. Otherwise cant figure out why he would singular you out for the comments unless he does it to other guys as well.
    Im sure some will disagree but if it was me the next time we happened to be at the urinals ( you could even set this up) I would stand back a bit and make very sure he got a good look. Depending on how subtle you want to be you might even add a comment or two to really rub it in. All depends how much he pisses you off. You could also ignore it but with that type it is usually better to move offensively!
     
  3. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Nothing deflates a smart-ass like tossing humor back at him.

    Learn a few of the following responses and don't be shy about saying them in front of your friends. I promise, you'll deflect the sting of his comments...

    He says to your friends, "fearghus has a tiny dick!"

    You say (shaking your head in mock sympathy)...


    "And my feet are so big!" or

    "My dick? Thank goodness! I thought I had an inchworm on my crotch!" or

    "It's a good thing I have so many other talents." or

    "It looks bigger in natural light." or

    "And I squeek when you squeeze it." or

    "I'm a growing boy." or

    "If I water it will it grow?" or

    "Why is God punishing me?"


    Just knowing that eventually this dork will probably swallow his tongue when he does finally get a look at your dick should prove the old proverb that "revenge is a dish best served cold."
     
  4. Pappy

    Pappy Member

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    fearghus9, just wear clothes that emphasizes your bulge, that should shut him up. If it doesn't then the next time he starts to belittle your penis just whip it out and show him how wrong he is about your size. The latter may not be the best advice but it would shut him up.
     
  5. Imported

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    monstro: Your pal is just engaging in typical oneupmanship, I think. The motivation of which is usually insecurity. He's trying to make himself look better by belittling you. Personally, I don't think you should stand for it. You can, as Pecker wisely suggests, put him in his place by using humor, or you could just pointblank tell him to shut the fuck up, that he doesn't know what he's talking about. Failing that, maybe you should just not hang out with him--he doesn't sound like a real friend to me.

    But I'm sure that no matter what you decide to do, Fearghus, that the last laugh will be yours. :)
     
  6. Imported

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    Hapi Papi: You don't need to prove anything. Ask him directly why he is fascinated with it. Why does he care? Tell him to stop being jealous.
     
  7. longbaugh

    longbaugh New Member

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    I totally agree
     
  8. hungthick

    hungthick New Member

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    fuck the previous advice about being 'clever' do this:

    the next time he says something ask him if he wants to suck your cock. Whatever he says after that doesnt matter because you have placed a thought in the minds of those around as to why he brings it up and they will wonder if he doesnt want to suck your cock.

    I would bet the farm that he has the hots for you or you do for him. I have been around many guys that would just let it slide and it would die. You do something to keep it up. Perhaps you are hot for him and he knows it.
     
  9. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    I totally agree. Insecurity is most likely the main reason and I agree that I'm not sure he rally is a true friend. By calling him a "buddy", it sounds like he may be someone you just hang out with because of mutual friends rather than being actual friends. I also agree with Hapi Papi but if this had happened to me, I would have felt the need to prove myself. Being the dumb jock that I am, I probably would have told him something like this, "If you are so fascinated by my cock, feel free to suck me off any time you want." If I were still in HS, I may have have dropped trou for added effect. This is certainly NOT an ideal solution, but that's how I would have delt with it. It just wasn't in my nature to let a comment like that go unchallenged.

    Now that I'm a bit more seasoned, and have fewer hormones raging thrugh my system, I'd either stop hanging out with him, or the next time he makes such a comment, simply publicly ask him why a supposedly straight man would bring up the topic of another man's penis so often. Obviously this won't work if he's openly gay. But if he is, I suggest you go back to what I would have done in he earlier paragraph.

    Sorry if this sounds homophobic, but I don't believe in being PC and I don't suffer from liberal guilt. And yes, if it were an openly gay buddy doing this, I'd still do and recommend what I have. If the guy is an asshole, sexual orientation is irrelevant.
     
  10. fearghus9

    fearghus9 New Member

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    Thanks for all the advices guys..

    Answering some of the questions:

    yes, he does it only with me.

    I see him pretty much every day cz we go to the same school but he does those comments only when we're not in school and in a group.

    I don't know if he's gay. He makes out with many girls and he says he hates "fags".

    I think the best way to make him stop would be let him see my cock, but it would have to be in a way that it doesn't seem I'm doing it on purpose...
     
  11. Lex

    Lex
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    Well, if THAT ain't a dead give away. Nothing says self-loathing like "public homophobia." ;)
     
  12. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    I have to say that he exhibits behavior that indicates that he is deeply insecure about something in his life. Most likely it is his own dick, or his repressed homosexuality; maybe both. If I were you I'd call him on it. Secure straight guys don't randomly bring up the topic of another guys penis size, even if to mock it, unless he has some reason to, especially if he has never seen it. I don't think gay guys do either for that matter.

    The only thing that makes sense here is that either he has a small dick or he is repressing some homosexual feelings and he is taking out his frustration on you. As I said, I'd call him on it and say just what I said in this paragraph in front of everyone the next time he makes such a comment. Now you had better be willing to get pummeled afterwards, but rest easy knowing this, your bruises will heal much quicker than his wounds will. If you aren't quite so willing to do this, then I suggest that you call his bluff by offering to compare dicks. Him seeing your dick isn't enough. He isn't giving you a hard time because he actually thinks you are small. He sees you as a target to relieve his own frustrations in order to prove himself in front of the others. The only way to beat him is to play his own game; offer to compare dicks in front of the others. There are only a few outcomes since you have already stated that you aren’t small yourself.

    First, he declines stating that he isn’t into such “fag shit”. (Sorry for the phrasing but I’m willing to bet that’s how he would phrase it.) At that point, you need to go on the offensive. You need to mock him at that point. He’s been falsely mocking your dick size and now he’s not willing to “prove” himself. Say things like, “When the chips are down you aren’t willing to prove your manhood, while I am. I guess we now know who has the small dick around here.” If he continues to protest about doing such “fag shit” simply reply, that HE was the one who constantly brings up penis size, not you. You just want an opportunity to prove yourself.

    Second, he agrees to do it and he is bigger. This is the least desirable result. Because he will probably go on mocking you for being smaller than him. On the other hand, you have proven to your buddies that you are indeed not small, and you had the balls to show your dick like that. You stood up to him, and in primitive male psychology, standing up to someone and losing is always better than being submissive to abusive behavior.

    Third, he agrees to do it and he is smaller. Well, there isn’t much to say here because you have him by the short hairs. My suggestion is that you don’t make a big deal over it. Don’t gloat, just let the subject die.

    You mentioned that you felt uncomfortable about showing him in a non-normal naked situation. My suggestion is that you need to overcome that. He has insulted you in a horrible way. The only way to retain your “manhood” in front of your friends is to “call him out”. Just go to some private area and do it, just make sure your friends see you two do it. Also, make sure that you compare both of your dicks. This has nothing really to do with your dick. This is all about him. You need to make him uncomfortable. You need to make him prove HIS manhood.
     
  13. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    Well, if THAT ain't a dead give away. Nothing says self-loathing like "public homophobia." ;)
    [post=257846]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    I agree wholeheartedly!
     
  14. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    Before any ladies reading this post start rolling their eyes at such stupid primitive male behavior, which it is by the way, I must add that I have NEVER seen a guy make fun of anyone, male of female, because the colors of their clothes didn't perfectly match, or their hair wasn't perfect, or their accessories didn't go well together. Overall, I have found women to be MUCH more willing to belittle other people, especially in front of other people, than guys.
     
  15. madame_zora

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    Yes, of course women are much more catty than men. Still it is a surprise to me to get the inside info on how men treat each other, prior to being on here I really had no idea how much your penises influence your lives. I remember ONCE in my life, a friend who had a larger chest than mine was trying on one of my dresses. When she couldn't get it around her boobs, she looked at me and said "Girl, you seriously need to grow some boobs". No one in my life had ever said anything derrogatory to me about my breast size before, so it really stung. I thought about flinging "fat" comments back at her, but resisted- still I can only imagine how it must feel to an endowed man to be teased for having a small pecker. I think I'd let myself get really hard before I showed it off to him- give him nightmares for years.
     
  16. Onslow

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    The answers given so far are good-and also possibly bad! As I read through Fearghus's post one thing struck me as a major concern. Since neither has seen the other guys penis as of yet, why add the risk of further emotional damage by showing off. What iff the other guy decides to also show off and it turns out he's bigger? Then what? Now you'll have him with the proof he needed that you're small (at least compared to him). The best thing to do is take him aside and ask why it bothers him so much that he keeps talking about your penis. I had a guy who played a similar game with me back in college and one day I aksed him if he'd like to have a gander at it and maybe even give me a quickie. All that got me was a reputation for being a pervert. Word spread fast and I got ejected from the school since they had a rputation which they wished to uphold (yeah this was Loyola back in their 'holier than the rest of the world' days). I still regret taking the guys bait; however, revenge has been nice since he ended up marrying a few years later to a girl I had been with several times. (so maybe now he knows the truth!)
     
  17. CeleSTiaLFuRY

    CeleSTiaLFuRY New Member

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    You should probably say something like, "Why do you always try to make fun of my penis size? It's really irritating. How would you know how big it is anyways? Do you spy on my while I'm going to the bathroom or something?" Questions tend to put people on the defensive (It sure put my teachers on the defensive when I asked questions they didn't know the answers too). If that doesn't work then he's just a jerk and you're probably better off not being around him anyways.
     
  18. Imported

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    dallasmssix: Best thing to do in my opinion is ignore the comments. Responses to such things often indicate just as big an insecurity. Besides, depending on how often your buddy makes the comment and just how close you are to each other, sounds to me like an obsession. Either he has heard something and feels left out or has heard something and seriously wants the experience. Repressed people sometimes get as close as they can to an issue without outing themselves...they just can't leave it alone.
     
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