Modern Convenience

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by midlifebear, Feb 28, 2010.

  1. midlifebear

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    OK, so we (me, The Squeeze, other owner/residents) just paid to have the elegant (and somewhat frightening) modernism-style elevator that is the center of our building rebuilt to modern safety standards. However, still it looks original to the building. It is an amazing bit of late industrial age artwork, like opening the safety gate and entering a bird cage fantasy of ironwork with a modernism marble and semi-precious stone inlaid floor. But now we have an annoying problem.

    Instead of the clanks, bumps, creaks, and occasional rattling stalls that threatened the "acensor" might to eat us, now everything runs smoothly without out a sound -- except we now have a dulcet female voice that announces "La cabina es disponible para sirvrle." (The elevator is available for service.) When it stops at a selected floor the gate opens automatically (from 1900 to last week, 2010, we always had to open it by hand) and the new dulcet female voice announces "El piso quinto." (The fifth floor.) Even worse, when we take the elevator to the main floor it sweetly announces, "Planta baja. Tenga un buen dia." (Main floor, have a nice day.) It's time sensitive, so it changes to "Main floor. Have a nice afternoon" or "Main floor. Have a nice evening," when exiting the main floor.

    I'm all for modern conveniences. For example, my first appliance purchase was a built in dish washer back in 1970. I like the "ding, ding, ding" made by our Peugeot if we forget to turn off the head lights or remove the keys, etc. I also like the fact our automobile has seat sensors and will not start until all passengers have secured their safety belts. And I never want to return to the era of dial telephones. But this "talking" elevator is a bit too creepy. Yet, we all agreed to have the feature included in the upgrade because two residents in the building are elderly and have poor eyesight. Yet, even the elderly residents are acting a bit wary and now take the stairs more often than in the past. After all, it's only a five floor building.

    None of us took a vote or anything, but we all seem to be in agreement that our building's elevator is occupied by a phantasma (ghost) named "Sheila." And no one remembers taking credit for coming up with that name.

    Spooky or just our imaginations?

    Anyone else have a modern convenience that bothers them?
     
    #1 midlifebear, Feb 28, 2010
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2010
  2. nudeyorker

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    I'm all in favor of modern conveniences. I got tired of taking my clothes down to the river and beating them against the rocks. I love my washer and dryer. The only thing that I was bamboozled with was the *Trash Compactor* I would rather throw out one feather weight bag every day, than a two ton week of rubbish. (But I did get a kick out of how it sounded when you put wine bottles in)
     
  3. midlifebear

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    Hmmmmm . . . a trash compactor. I've always been curious about those. Thanks for the information nudeyorker. We have an encargero (a guy hired by the building association) who lives in the basement and collects everyones garbage, which we leave in garbage closets on each floor every afternoon. He's like having a "super", but he's our (the building association's) employee.

    But I can imagine many other uses for a trash compactor. Hmm . . . a trash compactor . . . .
     
  4. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    I still haven't decided if i love or hate mobile/cell phones :rolleyes: Sure they are convenient, practical and fun but all it takes i 1 missed call and someone panics that you have been brutally murdered and are lying in a road side ditch dead being eaten by small animals.

    And then the pure frustration of being in a quiet restaurant, cinema or theater and the someone's phone starts ringing or beeping with a message.

    And im not even a cashier but it makes me want to scream when someone is at a check out trying to do their job, just serving customers and the rude person they are serving cant stop to say a polite hello or they are to busy talking to pay attention and then hold up the line.:mad:
     
  5. dreamer20

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    Would you have preferred "Moon River" played on a continuous loop as opposed to that female voice midlifebear?:biggrin1:


    When I lived on the 20th floor of a high rise building I would have appreciated your smooth running elevator. Ours was peculiar at times when it refused to carry its usual load of eight people. In which case successive people would leave the elevator until it functioned. It even refused to go for three persons at times, in which case we found that arranging ourselves in particular positions would cause the elevator to function properly. I could not help but liken this elevator to the one in Thoroughly Modern Millie.:1244:

    YouTube - Julie Andrews and Mary Tyler Moore (HQ) - Thoroughly Modern Millie Elevator Scene


    As for modern conveniences that are bothersome:

    Automated telephone answering systems that ultimately lead one to being put on hold and dumped by the system or a real person who previously claimed you reached the wrong extension and would transfer you to the appropriate one. Satellite TV which goes down whenever it gets cloudy. An internet service which periodically goes off, maybe for hours or days. Bathroom faucets and toilets which use motion sensors as I'm more familiar with the operation of the regular type of plumbing fixtures. In the latter case when one barely sits upon the toilet, or is finishing up, a premature flush is triggered and douses one with water.
     
    #5 dreamer20, Mar 1, 2010
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2010
  6. nudeyorker

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    When I lived on the 20th floor of a high rise building I would have appreciated your smooth running elevator. Ours was peculiar at times when it refused to carry its usual load of eight people. In which case successive people would leave the elevator until it functioned. It even refused to go for three persons at times, in which case we found that arranging ourselves in particular positions would cause the elevator to function properly. I could not help but liken this elevator to the one in Thoroughly Modern Millie.:1244:

    YouTube - Julie Andrews and Mary Tyler Moore (HQ) - Thoroughly Modern Millie Elevator Scene

    LOL I used to live in a building on RSD with that elevator! I'm lucky because I knew how to tap dance and do the Charleston to get it up to the 8th floor!




    :biggrin1:
     
  7. nudeyorker

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    Like what? They are fairly useless!
     
  8. midlifebear

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    nudeyorker: But couldn't a judiciously carved up body be easily "compacted" to make it easier to spirit away? And then there is our one neighbor's pack of toy Pomeranians (six of the yapping useless things). Just typing out loud. Nothing serious. :rolleyes:
     
  9. DaveyR

    DaveyR Retired Moderator
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    Ooooh you've given me an idea. Can I borrow a garbage compactor from one of you guys and do all my neighbours a favour before I leave? A few on our complex have dogs but only one is a problem. It will stand yapping it's tonsils out for what seems like an eternity and it's bone idle fat ass lazy owner does fuck all. It's only when I go out on my terrace and yell at 300 decibels "SHUT THE FUCK UP" then all the other neighbours applaud that she does anything.

    Hmmmm garbage compactor :smile::wink:
     
  10. nudeyorker

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    I'm really sorry I brought this up. Garbage compactors were really fun in the 70's after you fired up a bong it was really fun to hear the sound of the wine bottles compacting!
     
  11. invisibleman

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    Modern inconvenience...cellphones and electronic correspondence.

    I think that sometimes people can abuse technology. There is usually not a consensus on etiquette. I think that cell phones should be turned off and remain off in public places and while driving/operating any vehicle.

    Internet correspondence...internet has given people permission to abuse. I was talking with my sister about this. I told her that I have had to give up my social networking accounts on FACEBOOK and MYSPACE. You can get abused easily. People can talk much trash and you really can't do much about it...other than block them.

    And another thing...before PCs...people actually talked with each other in person. Before the internet...my family members rarely wrote. But nowadays, they want my e-mail address. They want my FACEBOOK. They want my MySpace. I allowed it on a trial basis. And I got forwarded shit that I didn't care about getting in my e-mail. A LOT.

    I told my family mems. I didn't want a lot of unnecessary stuff in my email inbox. Write a good letter. Tell me how you are doing. DO NOT send me 1,000 jokes. Video links to videos. Home remedies.

    I may as well not have written a thing to them. They continued as usual...
    So, I gave up with them. I deleted my email account and blocked them from contacting me via FACEBOOK and MYSPACE.
     
  12. midlifebear

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    One of the big relationship issues between me and The Squeeze is the cell/mobile phone. He texts me endlessly wanting to know what I'm doing, where am I, that he loves me, that he can't live without me, do I love him, too? Can we have lunch? How about dinner?

    Recently, my trusty old Motorola (three years-old) phone up and died. Its replacement was the cheapest Samsung (28€) that claims two have to language modes: English and Spanish. However, it really has only English and German (?). It also is very small and conveniently slips out of my pant pockets. And the ring tone is so light and airy that almost no one can hear it. It's CHEAP in every sense of the word. So, I leave it at home a lot. This is a problem for The Squeeze. But he's coming around. And the few times I've had a semi-emergency there have been plenty of strangers around me with cell/mobile phones more than willing to play good samaritan.

    At least one person a day walks into me on the sidewalk because they are texting and walking at the same time. And I'm actively trying to avoid these clowns.

    Yup, the cell/mobile phone is a creature I can live without.

    But I'm afraid I'm addicted to e-mail. It's the only way I can manage my portfolio and businesses long-distance without having to spend a ton o' Bucks/Euros. As for those "1,000 kitty photos I thought you'd enjoy" e-mails. I've pretty much put a stop to those. Those friends have been relegated to the SPAM function, which works better than I had hoped.

    As for our newly resurrected elevator, "Sheila," she can tell if there are too many people (too much weight) in the cabin and has no problem telling us that fact. I've gained a few kilos (5 to be exact) and The Squeeze is right at a muscular/beefy 100 kilos. When there is too much weight, she gives kurt instructions that someone or something must be removed. Creepy.
     
  13. SpeedoMike

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    find the speaker... cut the wires! (that may void the warranty)
     
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