OK, so we (me, The Squeeze, other owner/residents) just paid to have the elegant (and somewhat frightening) modernism-style elevator that is the center of our building rebuilt to modern safety standards. However, still it looks original to the building. It is an amazing bit of late industrial age artwork, like opening the safety gate and entering a bird cage fantasy of ironwork with a modernism marble and semi-precious stone inlaid floor. But now we have an annoying problem. Instead of the clanks, bumps, creaks, and occasional rattling stalls that threatened the "acensor" might to eat us, now everything runs smoothly without out a sound -- except we now have a dulcet female voice that announces "La cabina es disponible para sirvrle." (The elevator is available for service.) When it stops at a selected floor the gate opens automatically (from 1900 to last week, 2010, we always had to open it by hand) and the new dulcet female voice announces "El piso quinto." (The fifth floor.) Even worse, when we take the elevator to the main floor it sweetly announces, "Planta baja. Tenga un buen dia." (Main floor, have a nice day.) It's time sensitive, so it changes to "Main floor. Have a nice afternoon" or "Main floor. Have a nice evening," when exiting the main floor. I'm all for modern conveniences. For example, my first appliance purchase was a built in dish washer back in 1970. I like the "ding, ding, ding" made by our Peugeot if we forget to turn off the head lights or remove the keys, etc. I also like the fact our automobile has seat sensors and will not start until all passengers have secured their safety belts. And I never want to return to the era of dial telephones. But this "talking" elevator is a bit too creepy. Yet, we all agreed to have the feature included in the upgrade because two residents in the building are elderly and have poor eyesight. Yet, even the elderly residents are acting a bit wary and now take the stairs more often than in the past. After all, it's only a five floor building. None of us took a vote or anything, but we all seem to be in agreement that our building's elevator is occupied by a phantasma (ghost) named "Sheila." And no one remembers taking credit for coming up with that name. Spooky or just our imaginations? Anyone else have a modern convenience that bothers them?