Modern sex recession

[MrGoldBox]

After listing to NPR this morning, I dug in to find out more about this "Sex Recession" we are in. Ha, like many of you reading this, we all probably wish there was more sex in our lives...but there isn't. I am curious, after reading this article, what are your thoughts?

Why are young people having so little sex?
Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex?

Cheers,

Mr. GB

PS. Also, hello again LPSG! It's been some time. Looking to see if I can re-engage in dialogs here that I used to enjoy. Have a great hump day!

 

[Phil Ayesho]

used to be, porn was HARD to come by.
You had to go to a public place full of other perverts and try to pick out ridiculously expensive magazines that you couldn't open before purchasing, in hopes of gradually accruing a tiny stash of imagery of people having sex- half of which was in black and white.
teenagers could not get ahold of playboys.

As a result- your sexual drive and curiosity was driven to trying to make personal connection with someone else... because the only real porn experience was going to be in person, naked in a bed.

To pull that off, you had to learn a thing or two about how to approach someone- how to express your interest and how offer what they sought in exchange.

you might only have access to a dozen potential mates...


Today- you swipe thru faces like you swipe thru styles of sneaker... and no matter how much you might like a given face, there is always perhaps one you might like better X number of swipes away.

People HOOK UP, rather than connect- and once their lust subsides, go back to swiping to see if there is an even better one...

and worse, porn is not only available- its become an avalanche of every imaginable perversion... people I know at 14 have SEEN sexual acts that i only ever HEARD of by age 40.

And so they work up their lust with these extreme and exotic examples of sexuality... and masturbate until their lust subsides, and go one to swiping... knowing full well that none of these faces they swipe thru would be willing to do the things that they look at to get themselves off.

The internet and the smartphone are destroying love.

 

[502855]

After listing to NPR this morning, I dug in to find out more about this "Sex Recession" we are in. Ha, like many of you reading this, we all probably wish there was more sex in our lives...but there isn't. I am curious, after reading this article, what are your thoughts?

Why are young people having so little sex?
Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex?

Cheers,

Mr. GB

PS. Also, hello again LPSG! It's been some time. Looking to see if I can re-engage in dialogs here that I used to enjoy. Have a great hump day!

I read this yesterday. It’s a long read but worth it. The writer pulls in lots of research and does a good job weaving in personal stories from the mostly women she spoke to.

It left me feeling quite sad for people in general.... both the situation nowadays of not knowing how to communicate, fear of connection and fear of the hassle of interacting with other people.... and the amount of bad sex, lack of opportunity for sex.

I am very grateful for my partner. That we are together, that we enjoy good sex regularly, and that we have worked on our communication enough that we can be open, honest and vulnerable with each other about our desires, our wants and needs, what is working for us and what is not.

A lot of the article is echoed by my younger friends and single guys we play around with.

 

[marriedasian]

i personally think in this day and age with technology, we've all lost the art of face-to-face communication and simple chivalry in love. nowadays kids grow up communicating through texts and anagrams (OMG, TTYL, WTF, IDGAF, etc). it's no wonder we don't know how to connect physically, we can barely connect mentally.

sex is a physical act that requires some mental connection (even at the most basic instinct level). i have a female friend whom i can talk to about anything and everything. from gross shit to politics to how she shaves her pussy, BUT ONLY VIA MESSAGING. if i try to do this in-person with her, she either gets embarassed easily or holds a lot back. it's like she's a completely different person. very odd, but i get it.

the sex recession is very real, IMO (haha, see my pun). pretty soon, we will just have full-feedback suits that will allow us to have virtual sex in virtual space with other introverts who no longer know how to interact with "real" people. sigh.

 

[693987]

There seems to be quick a few reasons for this sexually recession. Easy access to porno. Feminism teaching young women for the last few generations to hate men. Dating apps. We live in a society that shames men for being men. Men testosterone levels have lowered over the last few decades; so men are less masculine. The hook-up culture that benefits women more than men. Lack of opportunity for men to better themselves so they can attract good women. Men and women are being taught now to hate each other for being the opposite sex. I'm sure I'm leaving a few things out. My perception may even be wrong. Relationships between men and women seem to change for the worst.

Plenty of women from the last few generations don't hate men. A fair few intensely dislike your kind of attitude, though. I don't label myself as a feminist and haven't for a while, given a variety of reasons. I don't buy into the bullshit of "a real man is these specific traits" anymore than I buy into "a real woman is these specific traits". You want to be what you consider a manly man? Go for it. I cook, clean, and keep up the house for my partner and I. I prefer skirts, dresses, and a lot of "traditional" female things. I still think your attitude towards women sucks and is trying to avoid personal accountability.

OP, I have wondered if perhaps exposure to so much of what is going on all over the planet 24/7 with the ease the internet offers is making people prone to being more stressed and unhappy. I am extremely selective in what I peruse and where online when seeking entertainment. There are many good things that happen, but so much bad. Good things don't make the news nearly as much. It can get depressing and mildly overwhelming, so I filter. Heavily. During my for fun/laid back time, anyway.

People (as a generalization about the people I know, but applying a little to people as a whole I think) seem much more self-absorbed in many ways, too. Chasing after the almighty dollar, interpersonal relationships including romantic, sexual, and platonic seem to be lower priority. Work harder, work more to get more money. More time is spent, you're more tired, less inclined to do much, and so on. You see (at least partially) a reflection of people having less sex when you look at population growth from birth in a fair few first world countries...

 

[ItsAll4Kim]

"Better living through technology". That was a now ironic description of "the future" from back in the 50's. Big corporations have developed amazing tech. Now we can pretty much live our entire lives without interacting with another human. Home schooling ensures no socialization. Political correctness, everyone gets a trophy, etc. etc. ....basically means nobody has to deal with rejection, learn how to negotiate, or figure out anyone else. Is it a mystery that there's massive division in politics? Is it any wonder drug use is skyrocketing along with mass violence acts? A lack of sex is just one of many consequences of the near total lack of personal interaction people accept as normal life today.

 

[halcyondays]

And yet STDs are on the rise. Wrap it up gentlemen and get tested regularly.

 

[halcyondays]

Oh and makes my glad I'm not young.

 

[paintergal]

I havent had sex in a year. I havent had success meeting anyone this year. Everyone swipes to the right but never email me or they ignore the first email from me, and admittedly I do the same esp for any number of reasons. So in the end, noone wins. A lot of people talk to talk about being/feeling lonely.

We are not meant to be alone. We need human connection to thrive and we have made it harder for ourselves and others. I try to meet people organically but its hard when you dont do bars, team sports or go out much.

I wish I had better solutions to this.

 

[deleted15807]

Feminism teaching young women for the last few generations to hate men. Dating apps. We live in a society that shames men for being men. Men testosterone levels have lowered over the last few decades; so men are less masculine. The hook-up culture that benefits women more than men. Lack of opportunity for men to better themselves so they can attract good women. Men and women are being taught now to hate each other for being the opposite sex. I'm sure I'm leaving a few things out. My perception may even be wrong. Relationships between men and women seem to change for the worst.

Wow. Just wow. You sound like a throwback to the 1950s. Where to even begin? Feminism teaching women to hate men. A woman demanding her rights is not analogous to hating men. And the hookup culture favors women more than men? Do you have any proof?

 

[MrGoldBox]

It left me feeling quite sad for people in general.... both the situation nowadays of not knowing how to communicate, fear of connection and fear of the hassle of interacting with other people.... and the amount of bad sex, lack of opportunity for sex.

Thanks for the reply!

I felt the same way you did, a bit saddened by the fact that "we've" positioned ourselves to lose trust in one another AND be forced to live a life of physical judgement (Instagram / all the dating applications) and opinion shaming (Facebook/Twitter threads of hate). I could go deep and share my thoughts about how money, greed, and power in the hands of so few, but that will do no good as it doesn't propose a solution to our problem. I do believe the solution to our decreased trust in one another is constantly remembering that the majority of people are good and want the same safety, security, joy, and happiness. Who doesn't want a good hot meal? Who doesn't want their opinions to be heard respectfully? Who doesn't want mind blowing orgasms with a person they trust?

Focusing on where we want to go as a collective versus present day woes is my personal drive. Present has been decided where as tomorrow and 5 years from now are just being formulated.

 

[Phil Ayesho]

But does less sex = less love? Two very different things. Not sure that has been established yet.

That said Silicon Valley has hacked the brain and social media combined with human vanity will prove to be disastrous for humanity.

Yes- less sex means less romantic love. Less pair bonding love.
Hacking and trendy fads notwithstanding- the human brain and body evolved to seek pair bonds... to mix genes... and to both bond and provide for the offspring of that mixing.

We did not evolve to be able to compensate for technological replacements for those drives.

If you came up with a pill that made you feel good- but as a side effect it made you never feel hunger... how many people taking that pill would realize they were starving to death and compensate for the pill removing their appetite?

If we come up with social media and porn access that satiates our bodily cravings that originally evolved to drive us into each other's arms... how many of us will be able to figure out a way to still seek the thing for which we no longer hunger?

 

[1079855]

Anderson Cooper is Fake News. LOL

 

[deleted15807]

yeah- those are mostly older folks...

young folks being in sexless marriages is like two world class chefs who only eat TV dinners.

The good news is worldwide less sex + worldwide falling sperm counts = worldwide lower fertility = the planet may have a chance though I doubt it.

Maybe the world will follow Japan's lead:

Record numbers of couples living in sexless marriages in Japan, says report

In sexless Japan, almost half of single young men and women are virgins
​

What once was sold as quite irresistible turns out to be quite resistible.

 

[someperson]

After listing to NPR this morning, I dug in to find out more about this "Sex Recession" we are in. Ha, like many of you reading this, we all probably wish there was more sex in our lives...but there isn't. I am curious, after reading this article, what are your thoughts?

Why are young people having so little sex?
Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex?

Cheers,

Mr. GB

PS. Also, hello again LPSG! It's been some time. Looking to see if I can re-engage in dialogs here that I used to enjoy. Have a great hump day!

I blame BPAs
that shit make you a small dick loser

 

[MrGoldBox]

We need human connection to thrive and we have made it harder for ourselves and others. I try to meet people organically but its hard when you dont do bars, team sports or go out much.

Thanks for your reply @paintergal! Sorry that the dating scene has been uneventful for you. I've heard the same from several friends that utilize some of these dating apps too.

I hear you when it comes to feeling lonely; I too don't go to bars with my guy friends, talk sports, or play video games. While I am not looking for a companion, when I have the time, I am looking for invigorating conversations about ideas, life, architecture/design, politics (with open minded people that can add to my education), and sex (the conversation breaker!) I am somewhat outside of the typical dude venues which leads me to being solitary most of the time. I love trail running, but all those that I've met that are into train running are hardcore. I want to stop, stare across a lake, take a picture of a clump of moss, and then keep going. That all being said, I've become content with this solo-time because it is much more enjoyable than spending time trying to meet other people's standards.

So, where can I see some of your paintings?

 

[MrGoldBox]

I blame BPAs
that shit make you a small dick loser

By BPAs do you mean, bisphenol? Have BPAs been linked to decreased sexual activity?

Also, I am curious, what's with the "small dick loser" comment?

 

[1079855]

There seems to be quick a few reasons for this sexually recession. Easy access to porno. Feminism teaching young women for the last few generations to hate men. Dating apps. We live in a society that shames men for being men. Men testosterone levels have lowered over the last few decades; so men are less masculine. The hook-up culture that benefits women more than men. Lack of opportunity for men to better themselves so they can attract good women. Men and women are being taught now to hate each other for being the opposite sex. I'm sure I'm leaving a few things out. My perception may even be wrong. Relationships between men and women seem to change for the worst.

 

[takethecurve]

My perception may even be wrong.

Yes.

 

[deleted15807]

The internet and the smartphone are destroying love.

But does less sex = less love? Two very different things. Not sure that has been established yet.

That said Silicon Valley has hacked the brain and social media combined with human vanity will prove to be disastrous for humanity.