Mom Regrets Ignoring Gay Son

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by earllogjam, Jul 14, 2007.

  1. earllogjam

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    Today's Dear Abby column hit close to home today. I can see this happening to me down the road one day. If any others out there have similar circumstances perhaps you would like to comment...


    Dear Abby:

    My husband and I raised two sons and two daughters. One son and both daughters married well. Our other son, "Neil," is gay. He and his partner, "Ron," have been together for 15 years, but Neil's father and I never wanted to know Ron because we disapproved of their lifestyle.

    When I was 74, my husband died, leaving me in ill health and nearly penniless. No longer able to live alone, I asked my married son and two daughters if I could "visit" each of them for four months a year. (I didn't want to burden any one family, and thought living out of a suitcase would be the best for everyone.) All three turned me down. Feeling unwanted, I wanted to die.

    When Neil and Ron heard what had happened, they invited me to move across the country and live with them. They welcomed me into their home, and even removed a wall between two rooms so I'd have a bedroom with private bath and sitting room - although we spend most of our time together.

    They also include me in many of their plans. Since I moved in with them, I have traveled more than I have my whole life and seen places I only read about in books. They never mention the fact that they are supporting me or that I ignored them in the past.

    When old friends ask how it feels living with my gay son, I tell them I hope they're lucky enough to have one who will take them in one day. Please continue urging your readers to accept their children as they are. My only regret is that I wasted 15 years.

    GRATEFUL MOM



    Dear Grateful Mom:

    You are indeed fortunate to have such a loving, generous and forgiving son. Thank you for pointing out how important it is that people respect each other for who they are, not for what we would like them to be.

    You could have leared that lesson long ago, had you and your husband contacted Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays when you first leared the Neil was gay. Among other things, the organization offers support groups and education for parents who need to learn more about sexual orientation issues. (The address is 1726 M St. N.W., Suite 400, Washington D.C. 20036)

    Dear Abby on uExpress
     
  2. IntoxicatingToxin

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    That's awesome. I'm sorry the mom waited 15 years, but I'm glad she finally figured it out. :biggrin:
     
  3. wingnut84

    wingnut84 New Member

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    Wow... that actually brought me close to tears. That doesn't happen very often.
     
  4. Pumblechook

    Pumblechook New Member

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    Wonderful story.
     
  5. ganja4me

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    It's a very nice story. I can't believe her other kids turned her down and left her with nowhere to live (that's really fucked up) and the only one willing to take her in was the one she hadn't been treating fairly. I'm sure her son felt a lot better about this too. Knowing that his mother finally accepted him for what he is.
     
  6. D_N Flay Table

    D_N Flay Table New Member

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    I dunno... elderly mom living with two gay guys...

    I SMELL A SITCOM!
     
  7. SpoiledPrincess

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    It's like a modern King Lear.
     
  8. wingnut84

    wingnut84 New Member

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    Why did you steal burns1de's avatar concept?
     
  9. canuck_pa

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    I don't understand how any one can reject another person because of their sexual orientation especially a child or sibling. The only difference between a straight person and a gay person is who they have sex with.

    I am glad that "Grateful Mom" finally accepted her son and realizes she missed a great deal of love. And for the son, I'm sure he's glad to have his mother back in his life.
     
  10. Mattness

    Mattness New Member

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    This story DID bring me to tears since my Mother kicked ME out of the house when she found out I was gay.

    However, if my Mother hadn't passed away in 2005, and was in a situation like this woman, I would have taken her in like this person did to his mother...no questions asked. It's what you do with your parents.
     
  11. wingnut84

    wingnut84 New Member

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    Whoops. Didn't mean to post this.
     
  12. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    Was I the only one who found this story more upsetting than touching? I mean, sure it's convenient now for the mom to reconnect with her son, when she needs something from him. Sounds to me like she didn't deserve to have such a forgiving child. If karma actually existed, the children that she chose to acknowledge because they "married well" would have been the only ones she ever had and she'd be in a home now.

    I'm glad that she saw the error of her ways and that her son got to find acceptance finally, but her confession to Abby seems a little hollow to me. I hope it convinces some parents out there to not be like her. I'm very glad that mine have always pretty much accepted me for who I am.
     
  13. wingnut84

    wingnut84 New Member

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    Whoa... calm down buddy. Nobody's perfect. I'm sure you've held a few mean attitudes or done some people wrong and are glad they let it slide once you repented. Everybody deserves a second chance. I wouldn't have blamed the son if he hadn't forgiven her, but he did and it's very rude of you to rain on their parade.
     
  14. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    Why does everyone often assume I need to calm down?

    Talk to Lex, DC, anyone who has met me in person... I'm calm. I'm about as mellow as they come. You can disagree with the group and be calm.

    If anyone wants to get my posts as they were intended they'd do well to read each of them and imagine as if I was speaking in a deadpan monotone. That's how I'm usually thinking them.
     
  15. wingnut84

    wingnut84 New Member

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    I said "calm down" because you called the story "upsetting." Usually when someone is "upset" they're not very "calm."

    Anyway, way to sidestep what I said.
     
  16. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    Nothing you said needed to be addressed, I wasn't sidestepping anything.

    ::calmly upset::
     
  17. titan1968

    titan1968 Active Member

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    I agree with NineInch on this one. It's exactly how I see the situation. What would have happened had her other children taken her in? Would she have reconnected with her gay son? I'm not so sure.

    Yes, everyone is entitled to a second chance. I hope this woman has learnt her lesson.

     
  18. dolfette

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    i'm with nine.

    this son was obviously a really special person. forgiving, caring and compassionate beyond reason...and he was rejected for something he couldn't help.

    that he had to live with the rejection from a mother he obviously adored, for so many years, is just sad.

    and the father died, so he'll never have the chance to feel his love again.

    :(
     
  19. findfirefox

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    "they're lucky enough to have one who will take them in "

    Get your gays, get while their hot and fresh. They'll take care of you when your outa options. Gays, get them TODAY!
     
  20. dolfette

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    all mom threads are ruined for me now!

    *repressing an urge to ask if she's hot*
     
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