ElectricBlue
Experimental Member
I read that in the paper on Friday... The title caught my attention, other than that I don't read dear abby...
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lf. This is true even though I decided when I was three years old that she was both crazy and untrustworthy--and haven't seen any evidence yet that will convince me to change my mind. This is also true even though she is a deeply flawed human being who hurt me tremendously--using verbal, physical, and emotional abuse--while I still lived under her roof.
So you think it would be better if her gay son turned her down and left her with nowhere to go. I think it is great that he had such a big heart unlike his other siblings. We aren't talking about some stranger we are talking about his mother. I would have done the same.
So if a member of your family disowned you for most of your life you would take them in?
If this guy had been sick I'm sure his cold-hearted mother/ parents would not have taken him in. It was only when she needed help that her perspective changed.
NCbear, you're a glutton for abuse.
I'm of the same opinion as obil, the guys mother didn't have a reconciliation with him because she realised she loved him, she reconciled because she had nowhere else to go. If someone shits on you once they'll do it again, personally I don't believe in the bollocks about blood being thicker than water, we don't get to choose our family and if they're people we wouldn't have as friends why put up with crap just because by a twist of fate they're family.
Everyone's making so many assumptions from this brief letter that it's not even funny.
Maybe the woman is a complete monster and her kids have simply decided not to put up with anymore of her bs. Maybe the gay son was a total asshole when he was younger and is now trying to make amends.
There are any number of other scenarios that could also apply. To judge the mother or the son or the other kids based on this letter is absolutely assinine.
Why is it different when it's one of your parents? Actually, they should be held to a higher standard than strangers. You are right, without one's parents, one would not be alive. The flip side of that is exactly the same. You didn't ask to be born. If they made that commitment (to have a child) should they not also make the commitment to nurture that child?It's different when it is one of your parents though. Without them you wouldn't be alive. They also have to put up with all the shit you give them as a kid as they provide food, shelter, clothes, etc. I am not saying what she did was O.K. but I believe she deserves a second chance. And apparantly, since her son did giver her a second chance everything is working out great.
That's the one part of the story that bothered me... I'm sure it was not the intent of the old mother, or of Abby, but the undertone of the story was "treat your queers however you want throughout life, then make the end-of-life conversion and they'll forgive all and take care of you."
Not this one. I've always been very suspicious of the sincerity of "deathbed conversions."Ugh. Don't tell me that gay people do that "convert-on-your-deathbed-and-all-is-forgiven-even-if-you-were-an-utter-bastard-the-previous-70-years" thing the way the christians do. If they do, I may have to become a homophobe.
True. One of my nephews was a methamphetamine addict for years. After numerous incarcerations, bailouts, and thefts & burglaries, we all eventually had to say "enough is enough. You aren't welcome to come around until you straighten up. Until you successfully get through a treatment program, and prove yourself, we will call the police if we see you on our property." He eventually did straighten himself out, has been clean & sober for 3 years now, and has been welcomed back into the family. But as you say, that's not the same thing as simply being gay. Only an idiot parent would disown a child for being gay.Yeah parents make mistakes, practically disowning your kids for their sexuality isn't one of we should make. We give our kids life but it's not a life they asked for so we should at least love them however they turn out (taking up serial killing as a hobby is one of the few exceptions to this rule)
Since none of us chose our parents, why should we have any more obligations to them, if they treat us badly, than we have toward any other person who is not related? I know many who won't agree with me, but my opinion is that bad family is not better than no family at all.
Hmmm. I think this story is about forgiveness, not about assertiveness or ensuring that others won't shit on you (or ensuring that you won't let others shit on you again).
Was I the only one who found this story more upsetting than touching?