I've always had a sick, soft spot for Mommie Dearest jokes (or "Mommy Mommy" jokes, depending on where you first heard them), where a naive child learns hard lessons at the hands of the sort of mother who makes Joan Crawford look like June Cleaver: Mommie Dearest, when are we going to have Aunt Sally for dinner? Shut up! We haven't even finished your grandmother yet! Mommie Dearest, why can't I watch TV? Shut up or I'll cut your ears off, too. Mommie Dearest, this tomato soup tastes funny. Shut up your whining! You only have to eat it once a month.