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OK, so, my favorite online cuckoos, this whole fucking week couldn't been more fucked up if it tried.
Dig it; Monday, I hadda close & believe you me, the goddamned asm & m were dicks all night, distracting me from my regularly assigned duties. To include going on register when the lines threatened to back up to the end of a department aisle, thus causing my lot to go to shit before I had a chance to get to it, & then have the Head cashier count my till out while I do a crazy frantic routine & basically wear me out. Talk about sleeping problem when I got home? i had sleep paralysis at least 3-4x's that night.
Tuesday, oh Tuesday, now this was easier for the start of it. Mid shift leaving early so I would've thought. But then lunch arrives, & I go up for my 60 minute knosh on whatever I had packed; My mom's famous spaghette meat sauce. Well, I hadn't realized she left the meat bone still bone in & I bit down, & felt a piece of what I thought was a bone, but turned out to a piece of my plate tooth, specifically, the front one! Well, needless to say, I had to take off for the rest of the afternoon looinking for someone who could repair it. I darted over to the guy to did the work last time, (frozen skickers bar in winter 8 yrs go) but found out his office had taken over by a auto body paint shop. & according to the new owners, he'd gone the way of the dodo; he was dead. OK, so I run into an A&P use their phone book searching like a crazy person, but it turned out that half of the places in the area don't take walk ins, & the ones that do need an Rx from my old dentist.
Wednesday, I was back in work, still temporarily snaggletoothed, & on top of that, working outside at the garden register. Now, I have no problem with sunny weather, hey I'll take it over winters anyday. But people had been backed up to the pebble section of the place, & called at least 8x's to get an additional cashier out here. With the response from my supervisor that there wasn't enough cashiers there, depsite the fact that the phone room said that there were at least seven cashiers on shift.
Finally at 12 noon, another cashier gets on & I get to my lunch. Then my cell phone rings; it's my mother, who found a dentist who could do the repair, sans Rx & referral, but it turns out that it's the next at 8:30am, the day when I'm closing & have to be at work at 1:30pm. Brilliant.
Onto Thursday. I get up, get ready for this & hightail it on out & over there, minus a modest trip to DD's(Dunkin Donuts) but find me verbally kicking myself when I remembered the area where this yutz's office was was in an area that had heavy & I mean HEAVY traffic that early in the morn. It was only after a good 10-15 minutes that I got down close to it & realized right before I hit the jug handle which I didn't need to use that I passed him up. Soooo, I use the jug handle, bolt on back & get there. So I go into his office & fill out some paperwork. Well, not a minute afterwards filling out the necessary paperwork, I get dragged into an exam room by this enormous female hygenist, & get started onto I was there. she took the plate, examined it with a computer cam, & lo & behold, the good doctor had arrived.after a few short minutes, & a sotto voce, he asked me to open my mouth for an exam. I couldn't figure that out; I was in there to get the plate fixed not for a checkup. After 30 seconds, his little dental mirror had almost reached the back of my throat when I felt my gag reflex kick in. You wanna talk about forcing his hand & mirror out? a millisecond would've been slow motion.
So feeling the need to satisfy my own curiosity, I then asked him about dental implants & the cost etc. etc. He gave me that info, plus the enlightenment that unless my gums had some serious tending to, no way in hell would that an alternative. Well, you know that goes, he then ran up the tab of what it would cost to do implants for me, melvin; the cost of the implants themselves, $1500each, plus the crown, another good $1500 or so. Buuuut, before that, exams on my gums & treatment, debriding them, &shit like that, a good $980. So, I took the estimate, & shoved it into my pockets. Work went actually pretty smooth that night; turns out the ball less immature asshole of an asm had switched with another, who for all practical tends & purposes wasn't bad. So the night had ended on a rainy one, and after all that, just went home.
Ah, thursday night somewhere around midnight; I got into the door, dropped my stuff into the kitchen, & flopped on to my recliner, only to find I had sat on my TV remote when my TV turned on. There it was; Cartoonnetwork & lo & behold, there was a fairly new series that had I had taken an interest in because of the unique animation; FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS .
Now normally I steer clear of series such as this because of no relativity to my age & genre, however, there were a few episodes that helped me to laugh just a little bit.
Now in some of these episodes, there is a subcharacter imaginary friend by the name of Cheese. To give you an idea about Cheese, he's about 3.5 ft tall, pale yellow, somewhat wild eyes, & the virtual mentality & personality of a 3-4 yr old. He was created by Mac's next door neighbor, Louise, (Get the connotation cheese, Louise?) He's lactose intolerant, tho he likes chocolate milk, has an affliction for sucking on potatoes, constantly confuses a few characters with other animals.
& he's like the younger sibling/cousin/best friend's kid bro that constantly hangs around, & never gets the hint to leave. In fact, when told to go home, Cheese respondes with a raspy inhale, then simply says, "OK" but doesn't leave.
Now in Episode The Big Cheese, the entire house is fed up with Cheese coming & going as he pleases, so they install a security system to remedy that. So, Mr Herriman gets one, but when he is told by the instruction manual to pick a code at random, he does so, but with his back turned away. and guess who's just been ejected from the house for the umpteenth time, lying
near the rabbit, but Cheese, who now just memorized the code in sing song. A problem for everone, since the rabbit can't remember the code for the life of him. And they have a news crew coming to do a segment on Fosters
So, they retrieve Cheese, much to his own fright, and try everything to coax the code out of the little shit but he's still scared & scatterbrained. Finally, Goo, another subcharacter with a hyperactive imagination plays a game with him thus prompting the code out of him, note for note, which Mac puts in. Finally, at the last one, Mac begins to press ENTER, but instead, his finger presses Cheese's forehead, who pops up at the last second to declare, "I LIKE FISH-Y CRACKERS!!" thus screwing up the code, and making everybody go haywire.
Now, under a normal day, I'd have passed that up with a mild smirk, but after the week I just now told you about, I laughed like crazy. I needed that after all the inanity of the last four days.
Hows about the rest of you? Ever have a fucked up week like that & need something stupid yet funny to relax?
Dig it; Monday, I hadda close & believe you me, the goddamned asm & m were dicks all night, distracting me from my regularly assigned duties. To include going on register when the lines threatened to back up to the end of a department aisle, thus causing my lot to go to shit before I had a chance to get to it, & then have the Head cashier count my till out while I do a crazy frantic routine & basically wear me out. Talk about sleeping problem when I got home? i had sleep paralysis at least 3-4x's that night.
Tuesday, oh Tuesday, now this was easier for the start of it. Mid shift leaving early so I would've thought. But then lunch arrives, & I go up for my 60 minute knosh on whatever I had packed; My mom's famous spaghette meat sauce. Well, I hadn't realized she left the meat bone still bone in & I bit down, & felt a piece of what I thought was a bone, but turned out to a piece of my plate tooth, specifically, the front one! Well, needless to say, I had to take off for the rest of the afternoon looinking for someone who could repair it. I darted over to the guy to did the work last time, (frozen skickers bar in winter 8 yrs go) but found out his office had taken over by a auto body paint shop. & according to the new owners, he'd gone the way of the dodo; he was dead. OK, so I run into an A&P use their phone book searching like a crazy person, but it turned out that half of the places in the area don't take walk ins, & the ones that do need an Rx from my old dentist.
Wednesday, I was back in work, still temporarily snaggletoothed, & on top of that, working outside at the garden register. Now, I have no problem with sunny weather, hey I'll take it over winters anyday. But people had been backed up to the pebble section of the place, & called at least 8x's to get an additional cashier out here. With the response from my supervisor that there wasn't enough cashiers there, depsite the fact that the phone room said that there were at least seven cashiers on shift.
Finally at 12 noon, another cashier gets on & I get to my lunch. Then my cell phone rings; it's my mother, who found a dentist who could do the repair, sans Rx & referral, but it turns out that it's the next at 8:30am, the day when I'm closing & have to be at work at 1:30pm. Brilliant.
Onto Thursday. I get up, get ready for this & hightail it on out & over there, minus a modest trip to DD's(Dunkin Donuts) but find me verbally kicking myself when I remembered the area where this yutz's office was was in an area that had heavy & I mean HEAVY traffic that early in the morn. It was only after a good 10-15 minutes that I got down close to it & realized right before I hit the jug handle which I didn't need to use that I passed him up. Soooo, I use the jug handle, bolt on back & get there. So I go into his office & fill out some paperwork. Well, not a minute afterwards filling out the necessary paperwork, I get dragged into an exam room by this enormous female hygenist, & get started onto I was there. she took the plate, examined it with a computer cam, & lo & behold, the good doctor had arrived.after a few short minutes, & a sotto voce, he asked me to open my mouth for an exam. I couldn't figure that out; I was in there to get the plate fixed not for a checkup. After 30 seconds, his little dental mirror had almost reached the back of my throat when I felt my gag reflex kick in. You wanna talk about forcing his hand & mirror out? a millisecond would've been slow motion.
So feeling the need to satisfy my own curiosity, I then asked him about dental implants & the cost etc. etc. He gave me that info, plus the enlightenment that unless my gums had some serious tending to, no way in hell would that an alternative. Well, you know that goes, he then ran up the tab of what it would cost to do implants for me, melvin; the cost of the implants themselves, $1500each, plus the crown, another good $1500 or so. Buuuut, before that, exams on my gums & treatment, debriding them, &shit like that, a good $980. So, I took the estimate, & shoved it into my pockets. Work went actually pretty smooth that night; turns out the ball less immature asshole of an asm had switched with another, who for all practical tends & purposes wasn't bad. So the night had ended on a rainy one, and after all that, just went home.
Ah, thursday night somewhere around midnight; I got into the door, dropped my stuff into the kitchen, & flopped on to my recliner, only to find I had sat on my TV remote when my TV turned on. There it was; Cartoonnetwork & lo & behold, there was a fairly new series that had I had taken an interest in because of the unique animation; FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS .
Now normally I steer clear of series such as this because of no relativity to my age & genre, however, there were a few episodes that helped me to laugh just a little bit.
Now in some of these episodes, there is a subcharacter imaginary friend by the name of Cheese. To give you an idea about Cheese, he's about 3.5 ft tall, pale yellow, somewhat wild eyes, & the virtual mentality & personality of a 3-4 yr old. He was created by Mac's next door neighbor, Louise, (Get the connotation cheese, Louise?) He's lactose intolerant, tho he likes chocolate milk, has an affliction for sucking on potatoes, constantly confuses a few characters with other animals.
& he's like the younger sibling/cousin/best friend's kid bro that constantly hangs around, & never gets the hint to leave. In fact, when told to go home, Cheese respondes with a raspy inhale, then simply says, "OK" but doesn't leave.
Now in Episode The Big Cheese, the entire house is fed up with Cheese coming & going as he pleases, so they install a security system to remedy that. So, Mr Herriman gets one, but when he is told by the instruction manual to pick a code at random, he does so, but with his back turned away. and guess who's just been ejected from the house for the umpteenth time, lying
near the rabbit, but Cheese, who now just memorized the code in sing song. A problem for everone, since the rabbit can't remember the code for the life of him. And they have a news crew coming to do a segment on Fosters
So, they retrieve Cheese, much to his own fright, and try everything to coax the code out of the little shit but he's still scared & scatterbrained. Finally, Goo, another subcharacter with a hyperactive imagination plays a game with him thus prompting the code out of him, note for note, which Mac puts in. Finally, at the last one, Mac begins to press ENTER, but instead, his finger presses Cheese's forehead, who pops up at the last second to declare, "I LIKE FISH-Y CRACKERS!!" thus screwing up the code, and making everybody go haywire.
Now, under a normal day, I'd have passed that up with a mild smirk, but after the week I just now told you about, I laughed like crazy. I needed that after all the inanity of the last four days.
Hows about the rest of you? Ever have a fucked up week like that & need something stupid yet funny to relax?
