Monogamy

[Fencepost]

I strongly think that the distinction needs to be drawn between "monogamous" and "committed". A committed relationship can allow others into it- the relationship is defined by those in it, for their own benefit. Monogamy is, in human relationships, being married to only one person. In zoology it is the practice of having only one mate. Further, a couple could be in a monogamous relationship, married in a church while standing on a stack of Bibles, but if they are dishonest, distrustful or deceitful, then the monogamy means little- it is only a social convenience. I applaud Ms. Nailz' question and her courage to be open about her relationship.

 

[jimmyjohn2018]

This topic comes up now and then and it seems that different people have totally different concepts of monogamy. Some people define monogamy strictly based on sex, some by fidelity, some by marriage.

I consider myself in a monogamous relationship. I'm totally faithful and loyal to my boyfriend and would never even consider doing something behind his back.
But we do have threesomes from time to time. They're always together as a couple, and the third person is just there as a sex toy. There's never any deeper bond or feelings, it's just a shared kink

By some people's definition of monogamy that automatically disqualifies me from saying I'm in a "monogamous relationship"

My concept of monogamy is based on fidelity (which is in turn based on loyalty, trust and honesty), so I've always believed that even someone like a prostitute or a porn star could still be in a monogamous relationship if they were devoted to their partner.
But maybe my concept of monogamy is twisted?
What does monogamy mean to you?

If it is a team decision then I think it is no problem. It only becomes and issue if the actions are outside of the agreed upon limits.