Moral dilemma

Kylee

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so I figured I could be pretty open on here about this..

Been really debating on finding an FWB.. I haven't had sex in 4 years. If you're asking why it's because the first 3 years of my relationship I was rejected sexually by my boyfriend. After that, I focused on me and it's hard to meet a guy who wants something serious... but morally it's hard for me to imagine to open up sexually to someone I'm not in a relationship with.. I'm just wondering if at this point I should say fuck it and take the leap... but I want to keep the amount I sleep with low... been with 3 men in my life sexually and I'm now at a crossroad on this. Am I overthinking it to much?
 
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C41ara

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In my life i've been with just 3 guys too, so i can understand you perfectly, it's really difficult to find something serious if that's what you want (i think i've found it though, my 3rd guy is my boyfriend of 5 years).

I don't think it's a moral issue, but surely a mentally limitation we impose to ourself without even notice: "i want a real man in a serious story, so if I go with that guy just one night i'm a slut?" It's not easy at all to make peace with our own mind. I'm not in position to give you a real advice knowing my limited experiences, but i'm sure to say you're not overthinking: it's just our mind.

Not having sex in 4 years it'a lot - not just for the sake of sex, but because every woman need to feel desidered, to feel wanted, to have someone who gives you something important in everyday life - so I think you can try to be more relaxed with guys...it doesn't mean becoming what you're not, you always have to be conformtable with yourself, but just to defeat this moment of difficult and then start a new chapter :)
 
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If you have a moral dilemma. The 2nd mistake is to post it here. Moral Dilemma #2

Sleep, dreaming unconsciously is the repair to the conscious mind.

Just made that up, but if you think about it :). Yup, overthinking it. Miles ahead yet....if your cock does not fall off.
 
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You're not a "bad" person for sleeping with more than x amount of people. :rolleyes:That's entirely something for your own comfort level.

Enjoying sex, wanting sex, do not make you a "bad" person. This isn't a moral dilemma, it's a personal dilemma.
 

Kylee

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nods- true... im just getting to the point where I want to throw everything I was raised by where it says dont sleep around... but as years go by I am so close to saying fuck it. im gonna fuck this one guy without a relationship until i can find one.. you can only do so much with a dildo before you just say fuck this
 
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nods- true... im just getting to the point where I want to throw everything I was raised by where it says dont sleep around... but as years go by I am so close to saying fuck it. im gonna fuck this one guy without a relationship until i can find one..
The problem with that is that you are then likely to just end up having a relationship with the wrong person, or being too distracted by the wrong person to have the time and incentive to find someone you can have a proper relationship with.
you can only do so much with a dildo before you just say fuck this
I went off sex completely for a few years once. I had no desire for it at all, and having experienced that, and knowing that one day perhaps due to old age or hormonal changes it's likely to happen again, sex is quite important to me now. I'm going to enjoy while I can.

Are you putting any effort into trying to find a meaningful relationship?
 

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To me, it sounds like you need a sexual relationship more than you need just sex. I think that you need someone who really likes you and really wants to be sexual with you. It might be hard (but not impossible) to meet a guy who wants something serious on this site, but there are other sites. And don't be concerned with how many men you sleep with... its quality not quantity that matters most.

And I just took at look at your pictures and I can't imagine why your boyfriend would reject you sexually. You're pretty and there are nice guys out there who would be interested in you and interested in a relationship with you... just try new ways of finding them.
 
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