More Baby Daddy's : Report: Babies Increasingly Born to Unwed Mothers

Discussion in 'Et Cetera, Et Cetera' started by sargon20, May 13, 2009.

  1. sargon20

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    The number of babies being born out of wedlock has increased sharply in the United States, driven primarily by significant jumps in women in their 20s and 30s having children without getting married, according to a federal report released today.

    ......unmarried women accounted for 39.7 percent of all U.S. births in 2007 -- nearly four out of every 10 newborns -- up from 34 percent in 2002 and more than double the percentage in 1980.

    Report: Babies Increasingly Born to Unwed Mothers - washingtonpost.com

    This just can't be a good thing but it mirrors what has been happening for awhile in other segments of society. Not good. Baby Daddy isn't the same as a father and mother at home providing an example/role model for children.
     
  2. D_Humper E Bogart

    D_Humper E Bogart New Member

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    I can't help thinking actually HAVING a father is rare enough, rather than being obliged to bankrupt both partners for the benefits of the in-laws.
     
  3. Principessa

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    Grrr, this needs more thought than I have time for right now. Just have a few points I need to get out right now.
    • Men haven't felt obligated to marry the girl they knock up since the late 50's and the advent of the birth control pill. :irked:
    • Why is it always men who are upset about the numbers of single moms increasing? Maybe if y'all stepped up to the plate and acted like men instead of selfish babies there wouldn't be so many fatherless children and single moms struggling to exist. :angryfire2:
    • There is minimal societal stigma to being a single mom or teen mom.
    • I have no problem with a college educated, working woman choosing to raise a child alone as she is less likely to become a burden on society, her family, and the system.
    • Besides if the average woman waits for the right man to come along and marry her prior to having children, she could be menopausal. :angryfire2:
    • IMHO, We as a society need to change how we raise boys. Boys, as near as I can tell have no real expectations for what being a grown-up will entail. Whereas girls expect to get married and have children. It's in every Disney fairytale. Have you ever noticed how the Barbie Bride doll is revered and respcted? It's the only one that doesn't end up naked at the bottom of the toy box. :tongue: Yes, there are some girls for whom marriage holds no interest; but there numbers pale in comparison to those that do.
    • Boys need to be taught that to grow up, go to college, work, and get married and have children is a good thing. Most men in their 20's and 30's treat marriage like a hand grenade with the pin removed. :irked:
     
  4. jason_els

    jason_els <img border="0" src="/images/badges/gold_member.gi

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    I have two cousins who have decided to have children without husbands. In each case it was a conscious choice and in both cases the men are involved fathers.

    And just what makes you think the fathers are absent just because the woman is unwed? That's a rather specious assumption. A wedding ring doesn't make a good father any more than it makes a good husband.
     
  5. Principessa

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  6. sargon20

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    While not getting into specific cases all the research says children of single mothers are much more likely to live in poverty and that begins a whole cascade of other problems.
     
  7. StrictlyAvg

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    Your OP was about "unwed mothers". When did it change to single mothers?
     
  8. Principessa

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    Dude, they're basically the same thing. It's called a synonym.:rolleyes: :duh:
     
  9. StrictlyAvg

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    An unwed mother can be in a family unit - her and the dad chose not to get married.

    A single mother is by definition bringing up the kid on her own.

    No synonym. But Jason already made that point. And you dubbed it "excellent".
     
    #9 StrictlyAvg, May 14, 2009
    Last edited: May 14, 2009
  10. Jovial

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    I think the chickens will eventually come home to roost.
     
  11. Principessa

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  12. Pitbull

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    It is almost always the correct assumption.
    She thinks that because it is usually true and yes there are some exceptions but not a lot of exceptions.

    And of course someone will point out that people get married have kids, divorce and then the dad disappears.
    Yes that happens.
    Once is too often
    but happens way to often

    Very true.
    but let me make a little analogy.

    You can dock your boat.
    If you don't tie it to the pier
    It may stay at the dock
    But it will tend to drift away.
    If you tie it to the pier
    A storm can loosen it - especially if the tie wasn't secure.
    But much more likely to stay put if tied down
     
  13. Principessa

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    :confused: That makes no sense. :261:
     
  14. StrictlyAvg

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    Well on that you'd be right - According to the article the OP linked to "Previous research indicates that about 40 percent of births to unmarried women occur in households where couples are cohabiting."


    Unmarried childbearing and parenting:
    41% of unmarried partner households have children under 18 living in them.
    - U.S. Census Bureau, America's Families and Living Arrangements 2000

    33% of all births are to unmarried women.
    - National Center for Health Statistics, 2000 data (report released 2002)

    41% of first births to unmarried women are actually babies born to cohabiting couples, not "single" women.
    - Bumpass, Larry and Lu, Hsien-Hen(2000). "Trends in Cohabitation and Implications for Children's Family Contexts in the United States." Population Studies, 54: 29-41.

    About two-fifths of children are expected to live in a cohabiting household at some point.
    - U.S. Census Bureau, 2000
     
    #14 StrictlyAvg, May 14, 2009
    Last edited: May 14, 2009
  15. Pitbull

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    Most of what you say makes good sense.
    A few things I take issue with.

    First society has changed since the 50's - agreed.
    Second - Men (boys by their behavior) will not change on their own.
    Life is great! Women have sex with them. They leave when the baby comes. There always seems to be another woman that will have sex with them and repeat the mistake of the first.
    Third - The behavior of Women (girls by their foolishness with boys) is what has to change.
    Since they will probably continue to have sex with boys - having sex responsibly is the key.
    Fourth - Please!
    "Why is it always men who are upset about the numbers of single moms increasing? Maybe if y'all stepped up to the plate and acted like men instead of selfish babies there wouldn't be so many fatherless children and single moms struggling to exist. :angryfire2:"
    Many have stepped up to the plate. Nobody notices. Such men do exist.
    And always men upset. Come on now - maybe you just couldn't pass up a chance to bash men but a hell of a lot of women are upset about it.
    Especially the grandmothers that often end up raising the kids because their daughter (the single mom) is unable or unwilling to.
    Fifth - I have no problem with a college educated, working woman choosing to raise a child alone as she is less likely to become a burden on society, her family, and the system.
    I realize you do not from other posts you have made and that you have expressed a desire to become a mother.
    I have a problem with it.
    There is more to raising a child than financial ability.
    It is difficult to raise a child when the mother and father are both there.
    It is harder on parent and child when only one is there.
    I know everyone knows of someone where things seem fine with only one parent.
    Well, we view those situations from the outside and reality might be much different from public perception.
    We also will never know how much better things could have been if the road taken was the one with two parents.

    Signed
    Financially able single father

     
  16. Pitbull

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    And how long do they stay a couple?
     
  17. ManlyBanisters

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    A very good point - quite often the parents may choose not to get married for economic reasons or for reasons of personal belief / preference. There are quite a few married women bringing up kids on their own. There are also plenty of cases where the mother is, on paper, single but there is a man in life who is a good and responsible father figure.


    Your analogy fails because men and women, unlike boats, respond differently to being tied to 'piers'. Or perhaps your analogy would be better if you were to concede the point that not all mooring spots are equal and some piers will blow away in a storm before the boat does.
     
  18. StrictlyAvg

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    Plenty of large-scale demographic "experiments" about for you to draw data from. The Scandinavian countries have the highest rate of cohabitation out of wedlock (not to mention some of the lowest teenage pregnancy rates!).

    Do you think the US trends will be less favourable if they go that way?
     
  19. Pitbull

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    I don't think my analogy fails.
    And good point - will concede on that one.
     
  20. Pitbull

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    Yes I think US trends would be less favorable than those in Scandinavia.
    From my vantage point - major US city and close in surburbs - it is not pretty.
    And you brought up a major factor that highlights the difference - teen pregnancy.
     
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