more passionate sex

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by D_Steve_McSizequeen, Feb 2, 2012.

  1. D_Steve_McSizequeen

    D_Steve_McSizequeen New Member

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    hey, question for the women here...

    sooo i'm pretty large for my gf (she's petite about 5'3 and 95lbs) and i'm about 8inches. i'm the only guy she's ever been with and right now she's not really used to the feeling of penetration (even when she's on top its more trying to grind than going up and down). in her words, there's just too much pressure and no matter how fast or slow i go she says it feels like she's being jack-hammered. one of her suggestions is to make the sex more passionate and i'm not sure where to go with this. any ideas??
     
  2. ManlyBanisters

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    She wants it, she thinks it will help, then do it - what's the problem?

    Or do you mean you don't know how?

    (By the way - being petite really has nothing to do with whether her vagina is big or small.)
     
  3. D_bgfjt

    D_bgfjt New Member

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    Ur probably not doing enough foreplay,
    Im nine inchesand when im with a girl i go down on her
    For 20 minutes...that will get her wet an real horny which means her vagina will have
    More time to dilate..up to 4-5 extra inches in some cases.
     
  4. ManlyBanisters

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    The natural process of the upper part of the vagina widening due to arousal is actually referred to as 'tenting' - 'dilating' is using objects to gradually help avoid discomfort on insertion of objects, including, but not limit to, a penis.
     
  5. B_Nia88

    B_Nia88 New Member

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    probably best to ask her what she would like that would make her feel better.
     
  6. rtg

    rtg
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    I'm not sure why you don't understand what she means by passionate sex? This is more like love making, and going slow with her and getting into a nice rhythm...could it be that you actually are 'jackhammering' her? Be gentle unless she asks you to go hard.

    Let her go at her own pace, she will get used to it. And as suggested by others, do plenty of foreplay.

    Hope that helps a bit.
     
  7. D_Wang_Chang

    D_Wang_Chang Account Disabled

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    I don't mean to be boring, but kissing and locking eyes can be passionate, try letting her do all the work so she can do it how she wants :£
     
  8. VernalTiger

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    It sounds like she's having enough fun doing it her way - why is that an issue? You said that she wants you to make the sex feel "more passionate" - it's not really clear what she means by that - I'd suggest asking her.

    And personally, I'd rather grind than feel like a human fleshlight.
     
  9. D_Dick_S_Lapp

    D_Dick_S_Lapp Account Disabled

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    Maybe you could enhance the amount of four play or only use about half your size when penetrating. Nibbling on her ear or soft kisses on the neck might help. It really is dependent on what she likes which will be a tad bit difficult to figure out if theres miscommunication going on. Both verbally and physically that is. Distance might help too, skin to skin grinding (for me) adds to the overall feeling (the more surface contact the better).
     
  10. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    As others have said, you need to ask HER what she means. My version of 'passionate' (or anyone else's) is unlikely to be the same as hers. She may mean that she wants you to be soft and gentle with lots of kissing and caressing. She may mean that she wants you to put a hand around her throat and call her names you wouldn't in public. 'Passionate' is a very individual thing.

    Re. the grinding. It could just be that she prefers it that way. I know I prefer to grind. Grinding feels better to me.


    I would have walked out the door after the first five minutes.
     
  11. tamati

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    Passion needs to start outside the bedroom, way before the pants come off.
     
  12. D_Steve_McSizequeen

    D_Steve_McSizequeen New Member

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    great advice...just highlighted this one cus i thought it encompassed the general idea of what i was trying to get at...

    the other other thing is we've tried to do it slow and, not to toot my own horn but i got some stamina, she seems to lose interest cus it becomes frustrating for her and then expects me to cum on command. ugh, life of the inexperienced....def not like in the movies hahaha.
     
  13. D_Judith K Rantz

    D_Judith K Rantz New Member

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    Preach. And even when you get into the bedroom be ready to partake in a ton of foreplay. Jackhammering her time after time is not exactly passionate...
     
    #13 D_Judith K Rantz, Feb 2, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2012
  14. D_Chesty_Pecjiggle

    D_Chesty_Pecjiggle Account Disabled

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    I had a bit of this issue in college when I was more naive.

    Eat her pussy. Then when you want to fuck her eat her pussy again.

    Then keep going. Get her SO wet, make her cum a few times. Then she'll crave something in her.

    Then you're good to go.
     
  15. ManlyBanisters

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    Not speaking personally but some women either don't like having oral performed on them or they just aren't that bothered by it. Just like there are guys out there who don't care for blowjobs.

    Sure, try oral, why not - but it is not a universal winner.
     
  16. petite

    petite New Member

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    Speaking of dilating, when my guy and I were long distance, I found that I needed to dilate using dildos in the days preceding his arrival in order to have more enjoyable sex. This was after we had one visit where I had to call "uncle" after about 15-20 minutes because I had gotten too sore. I was good to go the next day, but that night was really disappointing and I was embarrassed that I had to call it quits. It wasn't the romantic passionate reunion that I had imagined we would have.

    We also had an embarrassing experience after we first starting having sex. I thought that he had given me a STD because my vagina was so unhappy after the previous two times that we had spent the weekend together. (It was really happy during sex, but the next day was a different story.) I insisted that we needed to visit a clinic together. They tested us. The put a long q-tip down his urethra. He said it hurt a lot. We both tested negative for everything. It wasn't until after that happened that I reconciled that the problems were because of his big johnson. I've had a lot of sex before we met, with a lot of men, but that had never been a problem before. I really didn't know what I was getting myself into!

    Masturbating using dildos to prepare in the days beforehand really worked for me. I suggest investing in a variety of different sized vibrators in the style that she likes (rabbit, g-spot, etc) with the largest one the size of your penis. I found that if I prepared before he arrived, we could have wild passionate enjoyable sex together. It was worth the effort because I think he's gorgeous and incredible in bed.

    Afterwards, she might want to try Vagisil Satin if she experiences any irritation from microtears.
     
    #16 petite, Feb 2, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2012
  17. LaFemme

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    I agree. Oral for me, has to be done by the right guy for the right reasons and I have to be in the right mood - otherwise, you might as well let me watch some TV.

    I agree with tamati - passion for me, starts loooong before the clothes come off. Getting sexy texts all day, anticipating - driving each other crazy....I'm cramping with desire, and that's not an exaggeration. I'm in pain I want him so much - in pain and dripping. By the time he gets home, the sex is passionate and hot, explosive - fucking while we look into each other's eyes, watching the other one cum, tasting sweat and skin and fluids.

    For me, passion is in the brain and the feeling I have for someone. It's not about getting eaten out; it's about being in sync with someone who knows me and knows my body and who wants me.
     
  18. OlderGuy

    OlderGuy New Member

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    My friend, at some point it might be time to look her in the eye, kiss her lovingly, and with a real explanation, both move on.

    I had a GF like this. Though I am nowhere near your size, for us it was an issue of pure physical incompatibility. She was an aerobics instructor and we were determined to make it work - trying all kinds of physical tricks. At the end, when it came down to it, she was too small for me or I was too big for her. It just didn't work right. I was tired of hurting her while trying not to, and she was tired of being hammered on, even gently.

    Not saying it's time to go; just asking that you don't forget that option may be your best course when you've exhausted everything else. Lots of sexy foreplay starts earlier in the day, maybe even before you cook her some delicious food. Oral is great, too. But make sure it's worth it to you both to continue if the physicality is becoming too great an obstacle.
     
  19. B_subgirrl

    B_subgirrl New Member

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    Thank you MB!!! :notworthy:
     
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