Wow. ok let me respond to others before I put forth my own ideas on this matter...
Legal reasons for hotel/motel privacy:
1) Hiding from an abusive partner or parent.
2) Two single individuals who wish to be anonymous with their consensual activities.
3) Someone who needs sometime alone to sort out their current life situation without being tracked down.
There are always two sides to a coin. Privacy is still legal, supposedly. Just because someone seeks it, does not necessarily mean it is nefarious in nature.
OP, I agree with the posts suggesting "low rent" places. There won't be mints on the pillow and terry cloth robes, but that may not be the most important criteria in your situation.
I am not condoning any illicit actions, otherwise all the best to you.
Bingo. Not to say he does not have some morally ambiguous plans (married, committed, whatever) but honestly...
you guys legally need to provide ID just to book a room?
seriously??
Yep, it's fucking insane.
it's not a legal obligation. it's the hotel owner's choice.
big difference.
they like a credit/debit card in case you trash the place.
See we need to provide that as well. They don't charge it if you pay with cash and don't trash the place. There are big ass signs that say any damage done will be charged to the occupant (presumably their card)
why don't u provide ur partner id !
i mean let ur partner rent z room on his name, in that case no one can track u!
Assuming the partner is willing to do so. If they are two clandestine lovers, they may not wish too...
If it is a NSA thing, the other partner may be leery of booking the room (some places charge you if you don't cancel in time) and the other person (the OP) flaking on them.
With everything that goes on here, I'm a little surprised by some of the responses but I guess I should have made it clear, two consenting adults. Nothing illegal, I just don't want a motel showing up on my Visa bill. I'm sure I'll have to register with my credit card, like someone said, to insure against damage to the room.
Ok the fact you mentioned the Visa bill and the fact you use cover illegal, and do not also not cover immoral or unethical make me wonder if you are in a relationship and are hiding this from your current partner. Not judging, just pointing it out as a reason some people's hackles are raised.
Bull- your partner or parent have no access to hotel registration records. Law enforcement does... and perhaps someone hiring a competent private detective.
Yeah they can't track the hotel, but a parent, abusive spouse with a joint account can see online if any charges were made. Especially with a debit type card. Chase does this, and it comes up as "Pending " almost instantly. Not hard then for an abusive partner to call the number that appears directly after. And then show up...
Not saying this is the case here, but it should be considered.
Bull- Infidelity is usually between consensual partners... that does not mean that the spouses of those involved do not have a right to know they are being potentially exposed to STDs.
So... still breaking the law...
Yes it is. However there are always extenuating circumstances that we may not know of. It could be a sexless loveless relationship, on both parties parts. Or, he could be in the process of a legal separation, but still living together. If there is a child involved, or property that still needs to be settled, and the accounts are still joint, then he may not want to do anything to endanger custody, future finance division, or current housing.
Before you say that this is far fetched, i can tell you that I am friends of a person who is going through this RIGHT NOW. A sexless, emotionally devoid marriage that they was staying in for the sake of the kid. They are not as paranoid as the OP, but do have concerns. After so long of being deprived of even basic human kindness, they are finally finding some affection, and are taking it where the can find it. And who are we to judge either my friend or someone in a similar situation. There are people here who know of whom I speak, and that I am not lying. Before you decide to say that I am. As you most likely will.
As for the infidelity being a crime? In some states yes. In others, no. STI infection by an unfaithful partner would be hashed out in court, though the legal waters are murky. Obviously if the OP (or anyone) is fooling around, they need to be taking every possible precaution on not contracting and STI. If the marriage is without sex, then they need t refrain from sex with the current partner.
If two single folks want to screw incognito, then they can do it at either one of their OWN houses, can't they? OR- at a hotel, if no one is looking to find out about them, then the record of their being there will never come to light.
Again I agree with the base sentiment you are expressing, but disagree with the nuances. I have laid out possible scenario as to why the OP doesn't want to do so. But people cannot always meet at there homes, and there may well be people looking for them for whatever reasons.
Further, Only ONE person, the one paying for the room, need show ID... so there is no record the other was even there.
Yes but the one paying is taking a risk if the person they do not want to find them finds out, right? Like what possible excuse for a charge to a room during a work week? Now again, the charge will not go through if they are paying in cash, but if something happens, and it goes through, that can be awkward.
Again I am sympathetic to a point and only in certain scenarios. If he is doing this just to get off, with nothing but his own horn-dogginess, then no, I can't agree. But i did want to remind people that there are other reasons, regardless of if they apply to the OP.
However... say two co-workers want to hide their philandering.... WHY? Probably because of a company policy that frowns on it.- so, Again, wanting to act unethically.
Company policy can be flawed in the extreme. Example. My friend S and his then girlfriend (now wife) J (i had written of them before, under my old name, about their miscarriage and his mom's death), were first dating, the bank policy was no dating between employees. At the time, neither could afford to change jobs, or quit without the guarantee of a new job. Both were the same level employee (so not a supervisor or asset protection and regular employee situation) and worked at different branches. Policy said they can't be together. Policy can fuck off. They were not using it to gain advantage.
They were in love and after near a year (she was legally separated and they were waiting for the divorce to finalize) of waiting they felt they could not wait any longer. They culminated there physical attraction in a hotel. We live in a small town, and everyone knows everyone and everyone's business. I never asked what lengths they went to, but I would have been extremely careful.
Again this may not (probably isn't) the case of the OP. Again I feel that we should be aware that such things occur.
Bull, again... if no one is looking for you, then you are just as private as if under an assumed name, and, again, registrations are not publicly accessible.
And again, if something happens to the room (i have broken lamps on accident) the reserving card will be charged, and said charge can show IMMEDIATELY as pending on an online banking account. I check mine daily. I cannot seriously be the only one.
Further... if someone IS looking for you, then you are either hiding for reasons of THEIR criminal intent- in which case you should be sitting across from a policeman or judge... OR you are hiding to avoid law enforcement...
Lets say it is the first. Yes they should be, but sometimes fear or a corrupt or perceived corrupt system can make one not want to do so. In the case of emotional and mental abuse, a person can truly believe that no one i will listen to them, or that if they tried something terrible will happen (especially if there is a history of physical abuse)
If he is doing this to avoid law enforcement, then of course he does not deserve such leeway. He says he is not, and we only have that to go off of. Again it may be immoral or unethical (cheating) but not technically criminal (unless state law says otherwise)
Again, hotel records are only searched AFTER the fact of your stay, unless you stay someplace indefinitely. They are only useful in tracing people's PAST movements... i.e.- if someone is tailing you, then they know where you are regardless of the name you use.
Ergo, wanting to be anonymous is always and only serving the purpose of an alibi for being someplace you don't want other to be able to find out about.
Again, there is the chance that a debit charge will show on a joint account that can be viewed. Again I am not defending him, but neither am I here to make moral judgments. If he is doing something underhanded and skeezy, than only his conscience (and not a bunch of ones and zeros blipping at him over the introwebbz) can really make a difference.
Two consenting SINGLE adults have no valid reason to rent a room under a false name.
And any other kind of consenting adults are wanting to hide their liaison for reasons having to do with deception of a spouse, or a spouse's lawyer.
The fact that it is consenting adults does not mean that they are not conspiring to deceive.
The deception begs the question WHO are they trying to deceive?
It is always someone who's knowing would create problems for them.
There are no defensible grounds for such a deception.
If whatever two consenting adults want to do is okey dokey... then they have no NEED for deception.
Ah but what of the possibility of living in a small or small minded town, and being too same sex employees wanting to experiment with each other. In that case EXTREME caution may well be needed. Even if there is no one, parent spouse, GF/BF or otherwise, some people are so scared that they do not want ANY possible paper trail happening.
They could be married and that is just a suck situation all around. But that is really a discussion for another thread.
This comment caused me to look up whether adultery is still officially a criminal offense / misdemeanor in some states of the US, and apparently it is. Holy fucking shit!
HFS is right.
Yeah, and there are some states where " he needed killin' "is still a valid defense for murder'
That there are.
I think some people need to get off the soap box. Whether the person is going to hookup, or needs a private place to go because they still live at home, whatever that is their business. When I was 20 and in college I still lived at home so id go wth my GF there. And yeah some are going for some clandestine hookup or whatever..I dont think this is the place for the moral police.
Anyway most motels with short stay type rates or something like that know the deal and they are not there to "out " anyone.. there are there for a reason. If you pay by cash you are usually good to go and even if you have to show an ID, its just for the record....not to publicize it. The proprietors also know whats up so you can pretty much just ask them that youd prefer not to be put on any mailing list....seriously they dont care and their business would be ruined if they did anything
Exactly. Though i am not so eager to give him a free pass on just being a creeper horndog. Again, knowing the surrounding conditions would be helpful.
make it up, nobody goes out and actually checks, sheesh!!
Too right, lol
who died and left you the morality czar??
Oh Phil may very well feel he was born to be so. No one had to die, it was just his destiny...

:wink:
Nope, In the UK you just book a room in any name you fancy and give any payment card that wont reject payment, they dont particularly care here as long as they get there money. Personaly I think making it a requirement to present some form of ID just to purchase anything as mundane as a hotel/motel room is just total invasion of privacy.
And for the Op if you need to give 'ID' why not just give some bogus details? Including some form of fake ID, sure some random motel isnt going to look to deeply into it as long as your paying.
True.
Interested to hear of the US position.
Most UK hotels require a credit or debit card to secure a reservation, but they do not charge the card, nor is there any advance charge for room services. It is possible to walk into a hotel and book a room on the spot (and common to do this in motorway hotels) so the hotel need not see a credit/debit card. They don't require passport or other ID. It is easy and practical to pay a bill with cash. I suppose there is a hotel form to fill in with name and address - but no check of the accuracy of details given, and I imagine the hotel bins them when you leave. Anyway no-one has access to these save perhaps the police as a part of an investgation.
I'm not sure why anyone would want the "privacy" this offers, but it is certainly available in the UK.
We have to practically give up our first born if anything happens to the room. We require ID, license plate info (Some of them, and only some check. I do know of a few that will tow cars that are not listed license plate wise.), and a debit or credit card to secure the room. Most places I have been to make it quiet clear that any damage to the room (including smoking in a non smoking) will be added to the total cost and if ya try to skip out, the credit card you used to reserve will be charged. If they don't do that, then they bill you at the address listed on your ID (which is why they are looking, to see if the info you put down matches up)