Motel Room With Stealth

nicenycdick

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I have travelled extensively throughout the United States and the laws and private policies differ greatly. I have never "had" to provide a plate number for my car unless I was parking on the motel property. I have always had to provide a credit card (debit cards are almost never accepted to check-in, just to pay as you leave). I have never been asked for my driver's license or other photo ID, except in cases where the hotel/motel in that area has been experiencing credit card fraud. As far as I know, while it might be a motel's policy, it is not a legal requirement to do so.
 

B_Nicodemous

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Wow. ok let me respond to others before I put forth my own ideas on this matter...

Legal reasons for hotel/motel privacy:
1) Hiding from an abusive partner or parent.

2) Two single individuals who wish to be anonymous with their consensual activities.

3) Someone who needs sometime alone to sort out their current life situation without being tracked down.

There are always two sides to a coin. Privacy is still legal, supposedly. Just because someone seeks it, does not necessarily mean it is nefarious in nature.

OP, I agree with the posts suggesting "low rent" places. There won't be mints on the pillow and terry cloth robes, but that may not be the most important criteria in your situation.

I am not condoning any illicit actions, otherwise all the best to you.
Bingo. Not to say he does not have some morally ambiguous plans (married, committed, whatever) but honestly...
you guys legally need to provide ID just to book a room?

seriously??
Yep, it's fucking insane.
it's not a legal obligation. it's the hotel owner's choice.
big difference.
they like a credit/debit card in case you trash the place.
See we need to provide that as well. They don't charge it if you pay with cash and don't trash the place. There are big ass signs that say any damage done will be charged to the occupant (presumably their card)
why don't u provide ur partner id !
i mean let ur partner rent z room on his name, in that case no one can track u!
Assuming the partner is willing to do so. If they are two clandestine lovers, they may not wish too...

If it is a NSA thing, the other partner may be leery of booking the room (some places charge you if you don't cancel in time) and the other person (the OP) flaking on them.
With everything that goes on here, I'm a little surprised by some of the responses but I guess I should have made it clear, two consenting adults. Nothing illegal, I just don't want a motel showing up on my Visa bill. I'm sure I'll have to register with my credit card, like someone said, to insure against damage to the room.
Ok the fact you mentioned the Visa bill and the fact you use cover illegal, and do not also not cover immoral or unethical make me wonder if you are in a relationship and are hiding this from your current partner. Not judging, just pointing it out as a reason some people's hackles are raised.
Bull- your partner or parent have no access to hotel registration records. Law enforcement does... and perhaps someone hiring a competent private detective.

Yeah they can't track the hotel, but a parent, abusive spouse with a joint account can see online if any charges were made. Especially with a debit type card. Chase does this, and it comes up as "Pending " almost instantly. Not hard then for an abusive partner to call the number that appears directly after. And then show up...

Not saying this is the case here, but it should be considered.
Bull- Infidelity is usually between consensual partners... that does not mean that the spouses of those involved do not have a right to know they are being potentially exposed to STDs.
So... still breaking the law...
Yes it is. However there are always extenuating circumstances that we may not know of. It could be a sexless loveless relationship, on both parties parts. Or, he could be in the process of a legal separation, but still living together. If there is a child involved, or property that still needs to be settled, and the accounts are still joint, then he may not want to do anything to endanger custody, future finance division, or current housing.

Before you say that this is far fetched, i can tell you that I am friends of a person who is going through this RIGHT NOW. A sexless, emotionally devoid marriage that they was staying in for the sake of the kid. They are not as paranoid as the OP, but do have concerns. After so long of being deprived of even basic human kindness, they are finally finding some affection, and are taking it where the can find it. And who are we to judge either my friend or someone in a similar situation. There are people here who know of whom I speak, and that I am not lying. Before you decide to say that I am. As you most likely will.

As for the infidelity being a crime? In some states yes. In others, no. STI infection by an unfaithful partner would be hashed out in court, though the legal waters are murky. Obviously if the OP (or anyone) is fooling around, they need to be taking every possible precaution on not contracting and STI. If the marriage is without sex, then they need t refrain from sex with the current partner.
If two single folks want to screw incognito, then they can do it at either one of their OWN houses, can't they? OR- at a hotel, if no one is looking to find out about them, then the record of their being there will never come to light.
Again I agree with the base sentiment you are expressing, but disagree with the nuances. I have laid out possible scenario as to why the OP doesn't want to do so. But people cannot always meet at there homes, and there may well be people looking for them for whatever reasons.
Further, Only ONE person, the one paying for the room, need show ID... so there is no record the other was even there.
Yes but the one paying is taking a risk if the person they do not want to find them finds out, right? Like what possible excuse for a charge to a room during a work week? Now again, the charge will not go through if they are paying in cash, but if something happens, and it goes through, that can be awkward.

Again I am sympathetic to a point and only in certain scenarios. If he is doing this just to get off, with nothing but his own horn-dogginess, then no, I can't agree. But i did want to remind people that there are other reasons, regardless of if they apply to the OP.
However... say two co-workers want to hide their philandering.... WHY? Probably because of a company policy that frowns on it.- so, Again, wanting to act unethically.
Company policy can be flawed in the extreme. Example. My friend S and his then girlfriend (now wife) J (i had written of them before, under my old name, about their miscarriage and his mom's death), were first dating, the bank policy was no dating between employees. At the time, neither could afford to change jobs, or quit without the guarantee of a new job. Both were the same level employee (so not a supervisor or asset protection and regular employee situation) and worked at different branches. Policy said they can't be together. Policy can fuck off. They were not using it to gain advantage.

They were in love and after near a year (she was legally separated and they were waiting for the divorce to finalize) of waiting they felt they could not wait any longer. They culminated there physical attraction in a hotel. We live in a small town, and everyone knows everyone and everyone's business. I never asked what lengths they went to, but I would have been extremely careful.

Again this may not (probably isn't) the case of the OP. Again I feel that we should be aware that such things occur.
Bull, again... if no one is looking for you, then you are just as private as if under an assumed name, and, again, registrations are not publicly accessible.
And again, if something happens to the room (i have broken lamps on accident) the reserving card will be charged, and said charge can show IMMEDIATELY as pending on an online banking account. I check mine daily. I cannot seriously be the only one.
Further... if someone IS looking for you, then you are either hiding for reasons of THEIR criminal intent- in which case you should be sitting across from a policeman or judge... OR you are hiding to avoid law enforcement...
Lets say it is the first. Yes they should be, but sometimes fear or a corrupt or perceived corrupt system can make one not want to do so. In the case of emotional and mental abuse, a person can truly believe that no one i will listen to them, or that if they tried something terrible will happen (especially if there is a history of physical abuse)

If he is doing this to avoid law enforcement, then of course he does not deserve such leeway. He says he is not, and we only have that to go off of. Again it may be immoral or unethical (cheating) but not technically criminal (unless state law says otherwise)
Again, hotel records are only searched AFTER the fact of your stay, unless you stay someplace indefinitely. They are only useful in tracing people's PAST movements... i.e.- if someone is tailing you, then they know where you are regardless of the name you use.

Ergo, wanting to be anonymous is always and only serving the purpose of an alibi for being someplace you don't want other to be able to find out about.
Again, there is the chance that a debit charge will show on a joint account that can be viewed. Again I am not defending him, but neither am I here to make moral judgments. If he is doing something underhanded and skeezy, than only his conscience (and not a bunch of ones and zeros blipping at him over the introwebbz) can really make a difference.
Two consenting SINGLE adults have no valid reason to rent a room under a false name.

And any other kind of consenting adults are wanting to hide their liaison for reasons having to do with deception of a spouse, or a spouse's lawyer.

The fact that it is consenting adults does not mean that they are not conspiring to deceive.

The deception begs the question WHO are they trying to deceive?
It is always someone who's knowing would create problems for them.

There are no defensible grounds for such a deception.

If whatever two consenting adults want to do is okey dokey... then they have no NEED for deception.
Ah but what of the possibility of living in a small or small minded town, and being too same sex employees wanting to experiment with each other. In that case EXTREME caution may well be needed. Even if there is no one, parent spouse, GF/BF or otherwise, some people are so scared that they do not want ANY possible paper trail happening.

They could be married and that is just a suck situation all around. But that is really a discussion for another thread.
This comment caused me to look up whether adultery is still officially a criminal offense / misdemeanor in some states of the US, and apparently it is. Holy fucking shit!
HFS is right.
Yeah, and there are some states where " he needed killin' "is still a valid defense for murder'
That there are.
I think some people need to get off the soap box. Whether the person is going to hookup, or needs a private place to go because they still live at home, whatever that is their business. When I was 20 and in college I still lived at home so id go wth my GF there. And yeah some are going for some clandestine hookup or whatever..I dont think this is the place for the moral police.

Anyway most motels with short stay type rates or something like that know the deal and they are not there to "out " anyone.. there are there for a reason. If you pay by cash you are usually good to go and even if you have to show an ID, its just for the record....not to publicize it. The proprietors also know whats up so you can pretty much just ask them that youd prefer not to be put on any mailing list....seriously they dont care and their business would be ruined if they did anything
Exactly. Though i am not so eager to give him a free pass on just being a creeper horndog. Again, knowing the surrounding conditions would be helpful.
make it up, nobody goes out and actually checks, sheesh!!
Too right, lol
who died and left you the morality czar??
Oh Phil may very well feel he was born to be so. No one had to die, it was just his destiny...:rolleyes::wink:
Nope, In the UK you just book a room in any name you fancy and give any payment card that wont reject payment, they dont particularly care here as long as they get there money. Personaly I think making it a requirement to present some form of ID just to purchase anything as mundane as a hotel/motel room is just total invasion of privacy.


And for the Op if you need to give 'ID' why not just give some bogus details? Including some form of fake ID, sure some random motel isnt going to look to deeply into it as long as your paying.
True.
Interested to hear of the US position.

Most UK hotels require a credit or debit card to secure a reservation, but they do not charge the card, nor is there any advance charge for room services. It is possible to walk into a hotel and book a room on the spot (and common to do this in motorway hotels) so the hotel need not see a credit/debit card. They don't require passport or other ID. It is easy and practical to pay a bill with cash. I suppose there is a hotel form to fill in with name and address - but no check of the accuracy of details given, and I imagine the hotel bins them when you leave. Anyway no-one has access to these save perhaps the police as a part of an investgation.

I'm not sure why anyone would want the "privacy" this offers, but it is certainly available in the UK.
We have to practically give up our first born if anything happens to the room. We require ID, license plate info (Some of them, and only some check. I do know of a few that will tow cars that are not listed license plate wise.), and a debit or credit card to secure the room. Most places I have been to make it quiet clear that any damage to the room (including smoking in a non smoking) will be added to the total cost and if ya try to skip out, the credit card you used to reserve will be charged. If they don't do that, then they bill you at the address listed on your ID (which is why they are looking, to see if the info you put down matches up)
 

B_Nicodemous

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Now to be fair I am not defending the actions of the OP. I do not know the man, or why he wants it to be sooo secret (really if there is NOTHING up, then why care if your visa shows a charge. OP? Can ya answer that?) But I did feel like pointing out that there are circumstances that maybe Phil didn't think of. Maybe not in this case, but the generalizations of "there is never" et cetera, really bothered me. Maybe the OP is a scuzzy lowlife cheating bastard (like I gather Ellie 's x was) or maybe he isn't (kinda doubtful on what he has given, but could be) but not EVERYONE is. Please just keep this in mind.
 

B_Nicodemous

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look around for a lower end place and get to know the mgr a little (by face) or have your playdate put it in their name, if they are not as concerned.

as for the CC concern, try to buy a prepaid gift card one and use that to reserve/hold ...make sure you have alot on the card though...couple hundred and keep it stelath.
Well it is the advice he was looking for...
Coming from someone in the hospitality industry we have the liscence plate by state law but nothing happens with it once it is recorded on the check in sheet. You could always give them the wrong address and phone number since they would only use it to call you if you didn't show up...This is from the perspective of a small family business. If you go to a big motel i guess the info could get into the system but if you went to a small place that hasn't moved electronic all of that into would probably just get burried in the paperwork.
Yeah the bigger ones tend to want more, though how much depends on area and chain.
I'm still trying to work out the need for privacy.
My opus of a post covered that, lol!
I'm still trying to figure out why so many people chastise the op for wanting some privacy.
I think I covered this...though maybe not...

I think we are leery of his intentions given the context of the situation as he framed it. Some of us (like Ellie P. who is one of the nicest people around these cyber parts) have gone through the heartbreak and repercussions of a cheating spouse, that have left a decidedly bitter taste in the mouth when it comes to the subject. From the way the Op was presenting it, I do have to say that without further information, he tends to paint himsilf with the same brush that Ellie's ex did...
Couldn't you give them your credit card on check-in, then when you leave the motel, 'cash-out' your bill, and nothing will show up on your card statement, because nothing was charged to it. I've done that before.....
Depends on chain. But yeah, it can be done.
"Name's Ayesho, Phil Ayesho"

*holds up badge*

:cop::no1:

"Morality Police. Cease your moral turpitude immediately."
LMAO!!!!
Context darling, context.
Exactly...
I have travelled extensively throughout the United States and the laws and private policies differ greatly. I have never "had" to provide a plate number for my car unless I was parking on the motel property. I have always had to provide a credit card (debit cards are almost never accepted to check-in, just to pay as you leave). I have never been asked for my driver's license or other photo ID, except in cases where the hotel/motel in that area has been experiencing credit card fraud. As far as I know, while it might be a motel's policy, it is not a legal requirement to do so.
Though the hotel/motel can legally deny you lodging if you don't follow the rules. Just saying.
 

hud01

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you guys legally need to provide ID just to book a room?

seriously??
Absolutely. I own a timeshare and they know me by name and I still have to give them my license everytime I check in.

as for the license plate number...you can give them a fake, but if security is bored motivated, which they seldom are they can have your car towed
 

upone

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Okay, Moccasin's explanation makes sense. The short answer is that I've done this for clients, but it requires creating a false profile and identity. Just to keep it off your Visa, use the card to secure the room and pay cash for everything (including the mini-bar) when you leave.
 

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yeah...who the hell is going to look up someone's records unless you're doing something wrong? pretty sure only the police would be able to get this info...if it's just between 'two consenting adults' i don't see why you need to remain anonymous. Hotels have privacy policies too where they can't just give out your name and details to anyone (your wife for example) who asks....
 

Phil Ayesho

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This comment caused me to look up whether adultery is still officially a criminal offense / misdemeanor in some states of the US, and apparently it is. Holy fucking shit!

Regardless of whether it is criminalized in whatever state... Adultery is, in fact, ALWAYS and EVERYWHERE a breach of contract law.
Very few wedding ceremonies include an Okey Dokey for miscellaneous Pokey.

If you are acting with the consent of your spouse ( an open marriage) then you clearly do not need to hide your rental of a hotel room... do you?

And if one person in the room is NOT acting with approval of their spouse, then at least one of you is guilty of unethical conduct.

I don't care what bizarrely unlikely scenario anyone concocts... Renting a hotel room is not posting a public notice... no one has access to that info except those who might be looking to find it out... say in a credit bill...

And the only reasons to hide it is to hide something that will not stand scrutiny. Period.
 

zephyr808

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I've thought about this too, from a privacy perspective it bugs me. Not that I would be wanting to hide anything, but we can't just give up all our rights because some company wants us to. Thats bullshit. There is a right to privacy, and it misses the point to assume that defending that right means you must be hiding something.

If you tell them that you absolutely do not carry a card of any kind, then the whole transaction is cash, and I have done that a few times before successfully because I actually didn't have a card. I don't remember for sure, I may have had to put down a deposit once, but not every time. Showing your drivers license and filling in the vehicle info may be harder to wiggle out of, because they are probably going to want something to cover their ass if you were to steal anything or whatever. But I believe in providing as little information as possible as a general rule.
 

rbkwp

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Agree with you Zephyr, would certainly take yr option over all other BS
aaah life can be looked on as being so damn humorous huh?
the things we do, to survive, haha
 

Phil Ayesho

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I've thought about this too, from a privacy perspective it bugs me. Not that I would be wanting to hide anything, but we can't just give up all our rights because some company wants us to. Thats bullshit. There is a right to privacy, and it misses the point to assume that defending that right means you must be hiding something.

Bull
You are forgetting the other party in the rental agreement. The hotel owner.
As the owner of a hotel room that I am renting to someone to use, or, say, the owner of a car or van that I am renting to someone to use, I have a right to know the person to whom I am renting my property.

As the owner I am pulled into certain aspects of liability... and I have a right to know to whom I am contracting.


YOU DON"T HAVE A RIGHT TO FALSIFY YOUR IDENTITY IN ENTERING INTO A CONTRACT.

That is al there is to it.

You want to do something in a room with absolute privacy... BUY a house or condo.

And good luck imagining that you have any "right" to buy property ( another contract) or have a registered deed of ownership under a false identity.

Once again... your rights to privacy are not open ended. ALL your rights END just shy of the point where you involve anyone else.

then THEIR rights come into play. A spouse has a reasonable expectation of fidelity... no spouse has ever been convicted of violating their husband or wife's "privacy" in discovering their infidelity thru hiring private detectives.

FACEBOOK selling your information to anyone who will pay is an invasion of privacy.

But when you buy an airplane ticket, or rent a room, or a car, you SURRENDER ANY RIGHT to anonymity from the people, or corporations with whom you are contracting.


Really... you really think that renting a room for an hour or 8 is ANY different than renting the seat on a plane traveling from New York to Frisco??

Do you want to suggest that folks can give any false name they please in buying a plane ticket?
How about in renting the room next to you?



Sheesh.... wanting to find a room under a false name, or no name is ALWAYS because you want to HIDE something.
And, if I owned a hotel, I damned sure would not want to rent to anyone who couldn't honestly tell me who the fuck they are.

ha
 

Uncutpete

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I am always stunned at the self-righteousness that begins to mobilize as some of the posters on this site pile on. I can think of a dozen reasons why one might not want a motel to end up on your credit card, most of them involve something secret, but not at all illegal. Here is how you do it.

(If you are interested in avoiding the police, this will not work for you, because they have access to hotel records and also time to check all of them. I am not giving advice for evading the law.)

Pick a motel with entrances for each room -- old style -- or a large hotel and go to the room separately.
Only one of you go in and register.
Give one right name, ID, Credit Card. Tell the clerk that you will be paying with cash.
When you check out, that person pays with cash.
The only record of your stay will be at the motel. If you choose one at some distance from home, and make sure you are not tailed (say by a private investigator), the chances of someone finding out that you were there are minimal.
I just read an article about PI's using magnetic GPS devices to track cars. So if you are concerned that things have gotten that bad for you, rent one.
 
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nicenycdick

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Bull
You are forgetting the other party in the rental agreement. The hotel owner.
As the owner of a hotel room that I am renting to someone to use, or, say, the owner of a car or van that I am renting to someone to use, I have a right to know the person to whom I am renting my property.

As the owner I am pulled into certain aspects of liability... and I have a right to know to whom I am contracting.


YOU DON"T HAVE A RIGHT TO FALSIFY YOUR IDENTITY IN ENTERING INTO A CONTRACT.

That is al there is to it.

You want to do something in a room with absolute privacy... BUY a house or condo.

And good luck imagining that you have any "right" to buy property ( another contract) or have a registered deed of ownership under a false identity.

Once again... your rights to privacy are not open ended. ALL your rights END just shy of the point where you involve anyone else.

then THEIR rights come into play. A spouse has a reasonable expectation of fidelity... no spouse has ever been convicted of violating their husband or wife's "privacy" in discovering their infidelity thru hiring private detectives.

FACEBOOK selling your information to anyone who will pay is an invasion of privacy.

But when you buy an airplane ticket, or rent a room, or a car, you SURRENDER ANY RIGHT to anonymity from the people, or corporations with whom you are contracting.


Really... you really think that renting a room for an hour or 8 is ANY different than renting the seat on a plane traveling from New York to Frisco??

Do you want to suggest that folks can give any false name they please in buying a plane ticket?
How about in renting the room next to you?



Sheesh.... wanting to find a room under a false name, or no name is ALWAYS because you want to HIDE something.
And, if I owned a hotel, I damned sure would not want to rent to anyone who couldn't honestly tell me who the fuck they are.

ha

Phil, I could easily come up with a realistic scenario where someone's privacy rights are violated under the law by an attempt by a spouse or their agent to unearth damning information . For instance, if a spouse or private detective hired by one got their hands on medical or financial documents to which they had no right to view (i.e., under HEPA rules, Federal Banking Regulations or U.S. Postal laws). A spouse does not have carte blanche to do so simply because their partner is a philanderer. Just because the target is a cheat does not rob him or her of the right to privacy. At least, under the law...the moral analysis is certainly different.

And I'm not sure that "no spouse has been convicted" of doing so...that I'd have to research. But I guarantee you that it has been raised in many a divorce proceeding.
 

Phil Ayesho

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Everyone can "think of a dozen reasons" ...

but they never list even one valid ( above board) reason why their real name shouldn't appear on a contract.


If you want to shag the secretary... I get it... your wife might be a shrew... your life is a veil of woe and you are seeking some moment's respite... you might well be able to rationalize your actions a dozen different ways...

that's your choice...

but don't fucking pretend that you're being honorable.

You are by definition sneaking around.

Still waiting to hear the totally honest reasons for being dishonest.
 

Phil Ayesho

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Phil, I could easily come up with a realistic scenario where someone's privacy rights are violated under the law by an attempt by a spouse or their agent to unearth damning information . For instance, if a spouse or private detective hired by one got their hands on medical or financial documents to which they had no right to view (i.e., under HEPA rules, Federal Banking Regulations or U.S. Postal laws). A spouse does not have carte blanche to do so simply because their partner is a philanderer. Just because the target is a cheat does not rob him or her of the right to privacy. At least, under the law...the moral analysis is certainly different.

And I'm not sure that "no spouse has been convicted" of doing so...that I'd have to research. But I guarantee you that it has been raised in many a divorce proceeding.

Yeah, it comes up all the time... the court's legal response is that is that there was a VOW exchanged- a contract entered into- and that spouses have a "right" to an expectation of fidelity.

Spouses get an exemption from testifying against their spouses BECAUSE marriage confers them rights of access that compromises their spouses' privacy.

for example... your financial dealings are NOT something you can keep from your wife. Get a divorce and see how quickly your rights of privacy evaporate when it comes to discovery of your financial affairs, your sexual affairs and your medical records.

YOUR rights do not supersede the rights of others, and when you wed, you AGREE to their having certain rights.
If I can be held partly responsible for all of another person's debts... then I have FULL access to their financial dealings.

You actually have to file a separate declaration of financial independence if you really want to deny a spouse financial rights.



But still... cheating is cheating... as you stipulate...

so, again, where are all the perfectly Honest reasons for being dishonest about your identity?

Why should I rent a room to anyone who won't tell me who they really are?
 

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2 ways to do this-

1) motel front desk attendants make about $9.00 an hour, and at 1 to 1.5 star properties they are usually the only person working at night. Give this person $75 to let you in to a room without record. This is expensive, as the room rented legally is probably only $50, but it will usually work. You just have to be out of the room and have it looking like nobody was ever there by the time management gets to work in the morning (7am typically)
2) Have someone else rent the room. This one becomes a problem if you don't know anyone trustworthy enough to keep your secret. But front desk people don't care who goes in and out of the room, so they wouldn't notice if the person going in and out wasn't the person who paid and signed for it. (you can always pay a bum to do this, but then you have the 50/50 chance of his ass showing up to try to catch a nap at any random hour. switching rooms doesn't help much in this situation because he can get a new key printed if his name is on the receipt)
 

Phil Ayesho

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PS-- just a note... there are many very good reasons for telling a lie... but it is STILL LYING.
But there are NO defensible reasons for lying in any contract with anyone else.